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Going out to eat is depressing...

Mandybb

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Mandybb    183

Mandybb
Posted

This is a rough time! During Christmas I was on my liver shrink diet, then New Years, my anniversary was last month, then Super Bowl and now Valentines! I go with my husband out to eat and Celebrate but there is no celebration anymore. The waitresses always ask if the food was bad because I only eat 5 bites, they constantly watch to see if I'm enjoying so I'm being watched on top of being full an hour before my husband. So I just sit there watching him gorge himself and not gain a pound (hate his metabolism). I feel uncomfortable and out of place to where the experience isn't enjoyable but he doesn't understand. I ask him to share his food so I don't feel awkward but he says he's hungry.

Going out used to be the highlight of my day and now I'm left underwhelmed and bored. I tried to tell my husband we need to start doing other activities not surrounded around food but food is still a major part of his life. He's very supportive of me but I'm struggling to find common ground. What new activities do some of the vets do now that they didn't before to keep the peace?

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cuchas    51

cuchas
Posted

You can always take the food to go! I still love to go out to eat and I'll be on my second year this summer. I don't eat everything, but always take a to go bag with me :)

It doesn't stop me from enjoying our lunch / dinner dates because you guys can still talk while he eats. Look at this way... you will have plenty of yummy left overs to eat later when he already finished all his :P I always look forward to my leftovers lol saves money too!

Besides food, you can go to the movies, miniature golf, amusement parks... whatever you did before, whatever hobbies you have, you guys can still do :)

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Mandybb    183

Mandybb
Posted (edited)

I probably should mention my husband is in the military and INHALES his food. He's never been one for much discussion but before it wasn't as noticeable because I was inhaling my food as well. I played Trivia the whole time at Chili's today. I might mention we have been married 19 years and our lives and travels have revolved around food or wine. I need to connect with him and it's difficult because the one thing we shared a love for is gone. I guess movies would be a good option, but the smell of butter popcorn is a bit overwhelming for me right now. Thanks for the advice though. I need a hobby and then drag him to it. I was thinking boot camp training after my strength returns. He loves working out, me not so much.

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Edited by Mandybb

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LittleLizzieLilliput    919

LittleLizzieLilliput
Posted

I don't know if this will help but it's just a suggestion. I eat very slow now when I go out so I can stay on pace with my dinner-mates. I take a bite and then lean back. I also do a lot more talking now as I dont' have my mouth full. lol!

I also take it as an opportunity to try different flavors on my Proteins. So I get something different to try. I also love knowing that I can just order off the appetizer menu now. lol! That's always fun.

But I agree, it is important that you come up with different things to connect with your husband on. I know after work it's hard to do something other than just go out to eat. Maybe bowling?? I know that sounds nuts but he can eat/drink while bowling? Something like that. Sorry, just brainstorming.

Also, maybe do some of those mystery dinner things or the dinner and a show. That way you can start to combine things?

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Go To Topic Listing POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
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    • bellaamey

      bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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