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Newly Single Mom



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Hey all!

So I'm a 31 year old, newly divorced, Mom of an amazing 2 year old boy. I'm a year post op VSG, down 102 pounds and only 9 pounds from goal. My ex husband also had VSG at the same time I did, lost a significant amount of weight and began an affair with a co-worker.

I'm finding it to be difficult to adjust to life, not only adjusting to life in my new body but now also single. The prospect of dating is more than slightly terrifying. It can get lonely at times, not only dealing with the emotional part of WLS but also now starting over.

Is it this scary for anyone else??

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Congrats on the awesome weight loss!!

At first, it is difficult to adjust to single life. There is no need to jump into dating, just yet, though. I've been single since 2007 and wouldn't have it any other way!

Get to know the new you, do group activities with friends, read, start a new hobby, etc....If/when you do start dating you will be that much more prepared and confident in a relationship. OR you will find that you prefer to be single, it does have it's perks as well!

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It's scary for me too. My son will be two in April. My divorce was finalized in December and I had my bypass in January.

Everything happened so close together. But you just have to stay positive and know that life will work out the way it's supposed to.

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Being a single mom is a scary thing in and of itself. I've been a single mom of three for almost 4 years now and it still scares me. Having a strong support system is a big plus. I don't know what I would have done if I was newly single and going through wls. It's insane enough now trying to do it after over 3 years of singlehood.

Sorry about your ex. I like to think that people get what's coming to them. I have found that Karma really is a beach. ;) :D

As for the dating thing...I've tried, but so far no good. Not that I haven't met some really neat people along the way, but from experience...take your time. Like someone else said, get to know the new you and spend as much time loving on that wonderful little one of yours. They grow so fast. You give birth to them and then it seems like you blink and they are all grown up and you ask yourself "What happened? When did I miss that?"

I believe you are a really strong lady to have gone through the wls and have been successful. Just use that same strength and determination that got that weight gone in everything you do and you'll be great.

Congratulations on the weight loss and have faith that when the time is right to date, you'll know.

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Hey all!

So I'm a 31 year old, newly divorced, Mom of an amazing 2 year old boy. I'm a year post op VSG, down 102 pounds and only 9 pounds from goal. My ex husband also had VSG at the same time I did, lost a significant amount of weight and began an affair with a co-worker.

I'm finding it to be difficult to adjust to life, not only adjusting to life in my new body but now also single. The prospect of dating is more than slightly terrifying. It can get lonely at times, not only dealing with the emotional part of WLS but also now starting over.

Is it this scary for anyone else??

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

That sucks....believe me, I've been there..but your young pretty and smart enough to ask for help. You'll be fine, concentrate on you and your son. The rest will come.

Sent from my SM-G935V using the BariatricPal App

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I've been a single mom since 2007. I started dating when my daughter was 3 and got pregnant again only to end up a single mom with two kids. I haven't dated since and have been so focused on working to take care of them that I gained weight. I'm having VSG in May and I'm ready to gain my confidence back but I am honestly comfortable and ok with being single and not sure I want to date. Focus on adjusting to your new life and getting a solid routine down for you and your son. Dating will fall into your life and routine when the time is right but if you try and force it into your life relationships won't work because you won't be ready. Congratulations on weight loss... you're a lot stronger than you may realize right now and once you take the time for you and get yourself in a good place mentally, physically, and emotionally ... everything else will fall into place

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Edited by AK_Bookworm

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I love having someone who is happy to see me and I them. But it seems no one wants that nowadays.

Sent from my SM-G935V using the BariatricPal App

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I've been a single mom since 2007. I started dating when my daughter was 3 and got pregnant again only to end up a single mom with two kids. I haven't dated since and have been so focused on working to take care of them that I gained weight. I'm having VSG in May and I'm ready to gain my confidence back but I am honestly comfortable and ok with being single and not sure I want to date. Focus on adjusting to your new life and getting a solid routine down for you and your son. Dating will fall into your life and routine when the time is right but if you try and force it into your life relationships won't work because you won't be ready. Congratulations on weight loss... you're a lot stronger than you may realize right now and once you take the time for you and get yourself in a good place mentally, physically, and emotionally ... everything else will fall into place

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Wonderfully said!!!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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