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1 year post op Newly Single Mom of a 2 year old



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Hey all!

So I'm a 31 year old, newly divorced, Mom of an amazing 2 year old boy. I'm a year post op VSG, down 102 pounds and only 9 pounds from goal. My ex also had VSG at the same time I did, lost a significant amount of weight and began an affair with a co-worker.

I'm finding it to be difficult to adjust to life, not only adjusting to life in my new body but now also single. The prospect of dating is more than slightly terrifying. It can get lonely at times, not only dealing with the emotional part of WLS but also now starting over.

Anyone else going through a rough time also?

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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I haven't been in your shoes, but I do have a small child and I can only imagine how difficult this must be. It sounds like you've been through a lot of major life changes in the past couple of years (parenthood is certainly one too). Have you considered talking to a therapist or counselor about some of the stuff that's going on?

With all these major changes, I hope you'll take the time to let this be about YOU right now. Become comfortable with yourself. Don't worry about a him right now.

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I'm a single mom of 3 who are 7,4, and 19 months! Im 13 days away from my surgery date and scared senseless.... I've never been away from my baby over night and since her dad was never around it's just me and her when my older 2 go to their dads... I'll have help but worried about not being able to hold her is getting me....


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On 2/3/2017 at 5:52 AM, AshleighN14 said:

Hey all!

So I'm a 31 year old, newly divorced, Mom of an amazing 2 year old boy. I'm a year post op VSG, down 102 pounds and only 9 pounds from goal. My ex also had VSG at the same time I did, lost a significant amount of weight and began an affair with a co-worker.

I'm finding it to be difficult to adjust to life, not only adjusting to life in my new body but now also single. The prospect of dating is more than slightly terrifying. It can get lonely at times, not only dealing with the emotional part of WLS but also now starting over.

Anyone else going through a rough time also?

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Ashleigh, enjoy your new lease on life with your baby and say goodbye to the old. And when the time comes to find a new love he will find you.

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I got divorced and had a horrible custody battle with my ex. I was awarded full custody but to say the entire ordeal was traumatic would be putting it lightly. Financially I lost everything, I relocated, and all while trying to keep it together for my daughter, who is now three. It's been almost a year and a half since my divorce and I'm just starting to feel a little better. It is such a draining experience and you need to take your time and not compare yourself with anyone else. Think baby steps! It's better to work on yourself and enjoy the time with your child and when you are ready you may find yourself more excited about the idea of dating.


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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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