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How do you handle people asking questions



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I'm struggling with this too. I literally just booked surgery today and am already trying to figure out whether I'll tell people or not. My husband and a couple friends are the only people I've mentioned it to so far and they are supportive. My kids will find out (you know, when I'm gone for 5 days and return not able eat food! lol) and kids aren't very good at keeping secrets, so maybe the easiest route is just to be an open book?

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I went in on a Wednesday and home Thursday afternoon. I fought with Doctor to release me. Haha. But I told my boss I had hernia repair (which i did). No one else asked where I was. I told my son same thing. It's NO ones business.

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My significant other & close friend know I'm getting the surgery. No one else does. I played around with the thought of telling when I told my hairstylist "I think I should get weight loss surgery" & she said I wouldn't qualify & that I could lose weight on my own since I'm not that big :eye roll:: little did she know I was approved.

I can't stand people's negativity. So, I'm keeping this a secret. My surgery isn't till next month but I post my workouts & healthy food on social media so people will believe I'm doing "the norm". That's all I'll say to people. I'm eating healthy by cutting carbs, working out, & stopped drinking Diet Coke.

Height 5'0"

Weight for consultation: 216 lbs.

Pre-op Weight: Unknown until January 20th.

My profile picture is not me. It's my "FitSpiration" body.

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I tell them I'm on a high Protein, low calorie diet, which is 100% true. I didn't lose weight because I had surgery, but because of the diet.

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Noooo. I told everyone about my surgery. Some were happy and most were skeptics. I didn't care my mind was made up. Now, the 8 months before my surgery I did embark on a 2000 calorie or less Life meal plan. I hate saying diet. I lost a lot of weight. When I started I was 489. Pre surgery weight was 421. People would ask all sorts of questions. The worst would be all the "Let me share this tip for you to lose weight" weight loss advice that was totally unwanted. Most of the time I would shut em down and say "What I'm doing is working for me so Thank You". If I felt a person question was too personal I would shut it do and tell em I don't feel comfortable telling you that. I had a stomach hernia as well and my surgeon said it didn't interfere with surgery. 3 weeks after surgery and I'm under 400 lbs. Good luck with your surgery and your New Life Journey

Tie Hill Samsung S6+

Edited by TieHillATL

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I had the experience of telling people at work. That for me sucked! Commets like, "you cheated, your are to small and how much more weight due you still want to lose." I moved to new state/job. They only see what I do and eat . Recent comments, "your are a workout Guru, you are doing great and you are getting so small." I will never tell people at work again. I will just do what is needed to get to my goal. I have 47 more pounds to lose. It is an individual's choice.

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I've been completely upfront about having the surgery. I tell people I had surgery and then say that I have been eating right and exercising since surgery. More people than I could ever imagined have had the surgery themselves.

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If asked how much I lost, I ask how much they weigh. That shuts that question down fast. If asked what I'm doing to lose weight I say the following which are all true:

Working with a doctor and a nutritionist

Using a high Protein, very low carb diet

Watching my portions very carefully - weighing and measuring most things I eat

recording everything I eat in my fitnesspal

Working out more and working with a personal trainer

Giving up sugar and added sweeteners

Not allowing myself cheat days

Exercising at least 30 minutes a day.

I'm working very hard at losing weight. Thank you for noticing.

There are members of my family (including my only sister) who do not know I have had surgery. As for people at the office asking what your surgery is, you have no obligation to tell them what is being operated on. I had a medical issue which needed attention, it's a private matter. If they ask again, ask if they had sex the night before. If they looked shocked, explain they have as much right to ask you personal medical questions as you have asking when the last time was they had sex.

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I don't tell anyone unless I absolutely have to. My s/o doesn't even know--we met post-op so I didn't feel the need to tell him. He's noticed the weight loss but figures it's just because I'm working hard to lose weight (which I am!). I say I'm doing the Keto diet and exercising 3+ times a week... which isn't a lie, just omitting the part where I had surgery haha. I say I had acid reflux/hernia repair surgery if I need to explain that part--laparoscopic fundoplication leaves similar scars.

Make sure if you tell a story that you're consistent with it though; I've had the same coworker ask me on 4 separate occasions what I did, I think she's trying to catch me in a lie :rolleyes: Soooo nosy.

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How do you handle people asking "what your doing to lose weight" or asking "how much weight have you lost" I am worried about how to handle questions.

I am not comfortable talking about weight with other people. I am not telling anyone other than my family about surgery, and I am expected to lose 85-125lbs (which I know is noticeable weight loss) is there any easy way to try and shut down people asking, like just brush it off like, "oh I don't know, just being healthy" I am pre surgery and have mentioned to friends/ coworkers that I am trying to get healthy and eating right.

I am also planning to call my surgery a hernia surgery, as an explanation since I will be out of work for a bit and obviously people will ask and wonder and that would explain soreness etc in my stomach area... Has anyone else used this excuse?

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"You wearing a wire?" "You writing a book?" "What do you plan on doing with that information?"

These are a few of my favorites. Oddly, people will laugh, but I'm being serious.

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my surgery is tomorrow and I decided to keep it private. I will tell people I'm following a very strict physician weight loss program. In time I will tell people, but that's when I'm ready. It's a tough & personal call.

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I told everyone I knew at work, friends family, acquaintances that I was planning on having weight-loss surgery just because I did not want to have to deal with it after surgery. But it's your business to tell. You still have to eat healthy and exercise to be successful.

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I initially thought that I wouldn't tell anyone other than close friends and family. But, when someone asked me how I was losing weight and I replied with "High protein/low carb diet and working out!" it just felt wrong coming out of my mouth, and felt like a lie. Or at least a half truth. I didn't like it.

Ever since, I've been upfront and honest about having the sleeve surgery as a tool to help me in my journey, and I've gotten nothing but positive feedback. Some people ask questions because they don't understand how it works, some people ask me questions because they have been thinking of having it themselves. Things probably would have been different though if I hadn't had such a support network, and supportive and positive experience in revealing the route I've taken.

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I will probably do similar, lying isn't my nature....but talking openly about my weight is not a comfortable subject.

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

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Yes!!!! I don't have an issue telling people what I'm doing to lose weight because I'm eating less and moving WAAAAY more. I have an issue with questions like "you did t like your food?" Or "you didn't eat very much." I have anxiety about eating around new people.....and I'm attempting to date so anxiety is an issue!

Banded 2010 weight:327

Sleeved 12/28/16 weight:253

CW: 230 GW: 155

Heather in Texas

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    • LeighaTR

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      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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