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So depressed. Really need help



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I have struggled with depression for about 6 years. When people told me it was common to get depressed after surgery, I wasn't worried because I've been on meds for 5 years and have it under control.

I was sleeved on October 17th. I'm down 50 pounds. Clothes fit better and I get a good amount of positive recognition from those around me. On the surface, everything seems to be going well.

But I have been so miserable. I can't shake it. Since the beginning of December I am just a mess. Every day is clouded with like my misery. It's so hard. I know eating used to be an outlet and I know that it's not anymore. That's not really an issue for me. Everyone says to work out, or channel it into something. But I have no gym motivation and I don't have many hobbies.

Drinking and going out with friends usually helped me feel better but every time I have drank recently I have spent the following day so depressed and also get very down while I'm drunk. I also know drinking doesn't help much with losing weight so that's another reason I don't want to do it.

I guess I just feel very lonely because I don't have a boyfriend or anything and I'm just not feeling myself. Wondering if anyone has suggestions or went through something similar? I need to make a change and I don't want to feel like this any longer. Thank you for anyone who takes time to respond!

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Congrats on your weight loss!!! Working out isn't my favorite thing to do- but it actually makes me feel better afterwards. Are you going to therapy for depression? Maybe the dr's need to change- up your meds. Have you gone to any bariatric support group meetings? Can you still go out with your friends and not have alcohol?

Good luck!!

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I have struggled with depression for about 6 years. When people told me it was common to get depressed after surgery, I wasn't worried because I've been on meds for 5 years and have it under control.

I was sleeved on October 17th. I'm down 50 pounds. Clothes fit better and I get a good amount of positive recognition from those around me. On the surface, everything seems to be going well.

But I have been so miserable. I can't shake it. Since the beginning of December I am just a mess. Every day is clouded with like my misery. It's so hard. I know eating used to be an outlet and I know that it's not anymore. That's not really an issue for me. Everyone says to work out, or channel it into something. But I have no gym motivation and I don't have many hobbies.

Drinking and going out with friends usually helped me feel better but every time I have drank recently I have spent the following day so depressed and also get very down while I'm drunk. I also know drinking doesn't help much with losing weight so that's another reason I don't want to do it.

I guess I just feel very lonely because I don't have a boyfriend or anything and I'm just not feeling myself. Wondering if anyone has suggestions or went through something similar? I need to make a change and I don't want to feel like this any longer. Thank you for anyone who takes time to respond!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

A big part of being overweight is eating with your head to compensate for emotional issues. If you already had clinical depression already, you really need to be careful with what you do. You will replace one harmful outlet for another harmful outlet, IE. drinking with friends or eating...

You really need a hobby or a positive outlet to refocus yourself on something other than eating and being bored. I always turned to the gym for an outlet for stress and depression. Working out literally does make you feel better inside. But you have to find a workout you enjoy, may I suggest martial arts or boxing as a huge stress relief, or perhaps mountain biking to get out en enjoy nature?

But you really need to divert your energy from harmful behaviors like overeating, to positive behaviors to be successful. Find a hobby, surely you have something you enjoy to do. But you can not be a prisoner in your own head, you need to mentally win this game also..

Im personally still struggling with the mental decisions leading up to my surgery and even backed out once already but i have to come to terms that I need to eliminate my destructive behaviors sooner rather than latter.

I wish you the utmost luck on your journey.

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All of the hormones trapped in your fat are dumping. They will seriously mess with us. They will change your requirements for depression meds. Go to your doctor and discuss what is going on and get the meds adjusted.

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Your weight is flying off congrats to you!! I am a very slow loser.....it was depressing at times believe me.....on another note, I have also suffered with depression that started out as post pardom after the birth of my son....he is now 11 and have been on medication ever since....I also was recently able to lower my dosage which last year at this time I never could of imagined being able to do so.....I also went through a time where it was hard when I was feeling down I could use the food as my cushion anymore....and it is hard cause that was my go to as well....also the going out and drinking with my friends was also my outlet.....it is something we have to go through and have to realize our lives have changed.....and find new outlets.....I obviously was never one to exercise.....but finally I have been snowshoeing and even if it is 20 mins to 2 hours it helps clear the head......walking the same....sometimes I crank the tunes sometimes I just walk.....I know people say this and I use to roll my eyes at them all the time but any amount of exercise Big or small does the mind a world of good....now I look forward to my daily walk....I don't do the gym or anything I walk or snowshoe it helps.....something that also helps me at night is colouring....as weird as it sounds I have numerous adult colouring books and it calms me....maybe worth a try....I wish you luck and maybe have a chat with your doc about your meds maybe after all the weight you lost and will continue to lose your meds just are not working for you......I wish you the best.....

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Alcohol with depression meds is a no no. Alcohol post op is a no no. Call the psychiatrist and be honest about your use and your behaviors. Take care of yourself. Your choices are the only thing you can control.

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May I ask what medication and dosage you are on? Some meds definitely may be working against you since surgery and I like what High functioning fat said... hormone dumping is real!

Congrats on your weight loss!!

❤️ Amy ❤️

Edited by jaynamy3

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I would talk with your doctor about changing meds because your weight, hormones and why you are depressed had changed. I haven't head my surgery yet, but as i progressed through menopause my physical needs have changed. When i met with my dr, she agreed that a change in meds would be huge for me! I feel like a new person!

I'm taking effexor er. Keeps me more even.

50 year old me!!

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Everyone above gave you great suggestions! Talking with your therapist is a must, get one if you can. First and foremost is to call your PCP and go over your medications, be honest with her/him about how and what you are feeling. Yes, hobbies are great......but finding the motivation to them right now is hard, that I understand. In the meantime, get out and walk, even if it's for 15 minutes. Push yourself to do it, it does help. Keep us informed, I wish you the best!

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@@mollydeez

I started seeing a therapist, because I was having issues adjusting to how people treat me post-op. I really suggest seeing someone that you can talk to.

Also make sure you are taking your Vitamins. I slacked off on taking my Vitamins and it caused me to really nose dive in a big way. Don't do it.

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I would echo the suggestions that you talk to your doctor asap. I had not previously had depression issues before surgery, but they hit pretty hard about 6-8 weeks post-op for me. I felt really depressed, but had no idea why. For me, it did turn out to be due to the massive hormonal shifts that occurred after surgery. It went away after a few months.

Take care of yourself. If something doesn't feel right, don't hesitate to talk to your doctor for help,

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1. I've been on meds for 5 years and have it under control.

2. Since the beginning of December I am just a mess.

3. Everyone says to work out, or channel it into something. But I have no gym motivation and I don't have many hobbies.

4.. get very down while I'm drunk.

5. I don't have a boyfriend or anything

6. I need to make a change and I don't want to feel like this any longer.

I'm numbering things for the sake of simplicity instead of going in circles. I know something about depression and hiding out and ups and downs.

1. They may need reevaluating. If the prescriber is your PCP, ask for a referral to a psychiatrist or NP-type who precribes psych meds. It's their job to know the full array of available meds.

2. With luck, this drop in mood is the result of the holiday season. Now that it's over, your mood may improve on its own.

3. That sounds as much like a refusal as an explanation. Sure, you have no motivation because you're feeling crappy. Do something, anything -- e.g., take a walk once around the block -- just for the stimulation. You won't feel motivated until you do something that will motivate you. To sit and wait for Motivation to knock risks sitting forever. Once around the block today.

4. "Drunk" has always been a known mood bummer. You know that. There's a huge difference between being drunk and having one or a couple of drinks. "Couple" is two.

5. Of course they have their merits and charms, but boys aren't necessarily the solution. The "anything" is the more concerning part, whether the absence of "anything" is real or just because your perceptions are messed these days.

6. Take that walk. Pay attention to everyone and everything you see and hear along the way. Once you're back home, write about it. Write down what struck you and why, whether it was a bird hopping and pecking along a lawn or a kid on a tricycle or a neighbor taking out the garbage. You'll discover that you are in fact connected to the world. Maybe you'll have learned some little thing that you'd never thought of before. Life is in the mundane as well as the large things.

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to people's good advice!

- Absolutely see a doctor to re-evaluate meds!

- The hormone dump is real and can cause all sorts of trouble

- Depending on your meds, the alcohol might be making it worse

- Consider trying to be outside in natural light for a while each day

- Check/improve your Vitamins - winter gray + no D = bad news

I'm saying this as someone who's been on meds for 10 years, has serious nutritional deficiencies, and lives in the stinking grey hole known as Seattle. I know exactly how hard it is to go out and do stuff, but judging from your list, your depression is not under control and is trampling all over you. Talk to a doc and start trying to rein it in. .

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

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      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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