I don't get it.

[Aggiemae 739]

You know what I don't understand? Whatever happened to just good old fashioned moxie? You know, just WANTING it bad enough, and not making excuses for when you just....don't?

You either want to quit smoking, or you don't.

You either want to work out, or you don't.

You either want to excel at your career, or you don't.

You either want to work hard in school, or you don't.

You either want to lose weight and reach your goal, or you don't.

You know?

Basically. I wanted to lose weight so bad, I have basically dedicated my entire life for the past 18 months to it.

I think for me, the scare I had with my heart was enough to really push me to take it seriously. I don't think that everyone has that kind of traumatic experience to push them to health.

I'm glad I had my surgery when I did and I was able to get insurance to pay for it.

I really feel that since surgery has become fast and easy for surgeons and is a huge money maker, that so many people that don't really qualify for surgery are having surgery. Eventually this is going to skew the results long term in a big way as a lot of people are going to be failures (yes I am using failure, because it applies), and make surgery not seem like the great cure that it really is. All these new people that never hit goal or get anywhere close to it and start regaining before 12 months are going to ruin the stats and make it harder for the people that come after that. Luckily a lot of them are going to Mexico so hopefully they won't count in the stats.

I'm not even going to start on all the anorexics that are going to Mexico and posting here, that is another tragedy that needs it's own thread.

Crazy right? Yet we have a full contingent of people who think that "jumping through the hoops" required by their insurance companies is standing in the way of weight loss progress... IMO, if you're morbidly obese you didn't get that way is 6 months. Part of successful weight loss is LEARNING that you can't always get everything 30 seconds before after you decide you want it...so just STFU and do your pre op program. Who knows, if you put in some actual effort in, the 6 months of education might even do you some good.

Off topic NWLV! We are on vacation at Disneyland it's 66 degrees here (and snowing at home). I walked over 6 miles yesterday and 4 miles (so far) today. I was in a wheelchair lest visit.

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[Nana1222 159]

If you find others that bother you, you should quit reading it. I'd hate to know you in real life. You must not like yourself and find places like this to bully and be nasty. Move on.

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[Xombae 113]

If you find others that bother you, you should quit reading it. I'd hate to know you in real life. You must not like yourself and find places like this to bully and be nasty. Move on.

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I really think you're getting the wrong impression here. Like I mentioned before, I was snappy with one person. That does not make me a bully. Don't assume that you can judge my character by my post.

[Lucky2Lose 184]

I'm not offended by your post- you certainly have a right to your frustration. As a heads-up though, I am one of those people that didn't follow all of the rules post-op (after the 6-week point- during the first 6 weeks I was an angel), because I have a medical background and I am fully aware of what will hurt me as opposed to what will just make it hard to lose weight. Every surgeon has different guidelines, so there is nothing wrong with getting opinion from others when there is a documented difference in what surgeon's suggest. Some surgeons still tell you not to use a straw, and yet my surgeon took the time to explain to me why (because some people end up with gas that makes them uncomfortable) and knowing this, using a straw was the only way I got in enough fluids the first few weeks. Many surgeons, in fact almost all, still say you can't drink with your meals. This is not a medically required rule, but rather a guideline that was set because they don't want you to wash the food out of your stomach faster, feel full for a shorter amount of time, and then eat more. A lot of surgeons say no carbonation ever, and yet the origin of this rule is because after the first few weeks (before that the carbonation can irritate your stomach), if people had been weaned off of carbonation, there was a good chance they had eliminated empty calories from non-diet soda. Carbonation won't hurt you after you're healed, but it certainly won't help your diet and teaching it as a "rule" is designed for the benefit of weight loss, not actual immediate health effects (yes it's bad for you, but no it won't kill you right this minute).

Despite their belief to the contrary, surgeons are not actually God, and not all of their directions should be taken as the bible- many yes, but certainly not all. When you are being reasonable in your question (it's 2 months out, can I have a few bites of a burger?- YES, you can), that's sort of the point that forums exist. The idea is to be supportive, not to be holier than thou because you were perfect on the diet and someone else wasn't. I have been within 3 pounds of my goal weight for two years, and at or below goal for about 20 months, and guess what...sometimes I eat crap and I have done so the entire time I have been sleeved. Some people do well with strict rules, and others do not, but when your stomach has healed, you are not physically hurting it by eating crap, you're just hurting your chance of ever being healthy.

I had a granola bar for Breakfast today, goldfish for lunch, and 1/4 of a lean cuisine for dinner. I also had 4 SF Red Bulls, and about 6 cans of diet pepsi. Yesterday I hadn't slept for 40 hours and I had a cookie for dinner. It was good. I did not die or wake up fat, although I am 100% sure my surgeon would not be remotely pleased.

Life is for the living and for the imperfect, and online forums can be a place to knock others down or pick them back up. Every time you make a post you get to decide what kind of person you want to be, to a type of person who may be just like you...scared, alone, sad, and very much in need of a bit of grace. I read plenty of posts where I role my eyes and think the person is an idiot...I then hit the little "x" and move on.

I think it is awesome that you have been so successful and I completely appreciate your right to your frustration, but ultimately, it's not your problem that other people break the rules, so why waste your energy caring? Either click the little "x", grumble about how stupid people are, and move on, or take a little bit of time to provide constructive (key word there) guidance in a way that will not further the hurt and isolation that they already feel. One day you won't be perfect and someone will be kind to you... and it will make all the difference.

Beautifully said..I couldn't agree more.

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[Hammer_Down 631]

If you find others that bother you, you should quit reading it. I'd hate to know you in real life. You must not like yourself and find places like this to bully and be nasty. Move on.

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This is the rants & raves section where people come to, ya know, rant & rave,

Aw heck, let me try to phrase this in language this forum's users might better understand:

"You should try to be more understanding because someday you might be pissed off abs need somewhere to let off steam."

If you can't stand the heat - stay outta the kitchen.

[Nana1222 159]

Rant and rave about yourself! When you are perfect come let us know.

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[Xombae 113]

Rant and rave about yourself! When you are perfect come let us know.

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Well aren't you a sassy one. You're kind of being a bully. Just so you know.

Edited December 10, 2016 by Xombae

[Dee~Dee 107]

Like I've stated in other posts... These surgeries help change whats on the outside, but if you are repeatedly irritated by others perhaps the inside could use some attention.

Just a thought.............

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[LipstickLady 25,682]

@@Xombae

This is a safe place to let off a little steam. No worries.

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,899]

....It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas,

Everywhere you go...

[Dairymary 533]

Question for the OP. You stated that food addiction is just an excuse and you don't have one. You're adamant that you don't have an issue with food. So how did you become obese and why couldn't you lose weight without WLS.? I heard this in my support group too many times to count and in most cases it basically came down to total denial of where the problem lies. Just curious why you feel you couldn't just eat smaller portions of healthy food and go though the program of pre and postop meal plans to lose weight without surgical intervention?

And forgive me if you already addressed this because I didn't read every single post in this thread. Your statements were just something that stuck out to me since I'd heard them so many times before. Just curious if there is an underlying metabolic disorder or other disease that surgery was able correct, allowing you to lose weight you wouldn't normally be able to.

Edited December 10, 2016 by Dairymary

[summerset 5,261]

Life is for the living and for the imperfect, and online forums can be a place to knock others down or pick them back up. Every time you make a post you get to decide what kind of person you want to be, to a type of person who may be just like you...scared, alone, sad, and very much in need of a bit of grace. I read plenty of posts where I role my eyes and think the person is an idiot...I then hit the little "x" and move on.

Your post is worth a full quote but I hate full quotes of long posts so I chose this paragraph.

One of the best posts I've ever read on here.

[summerset 5,261]

You either want to quit smoking, or you don't.

You either want to work out, or you don't.

You either want to excel at your career, or you don't.

You either want to work hard in school, or you don't.

You either want to lose weight and reach your goal, or you don't.

And you still needed surgery to lose weight?? Can't believe it!! That sure comes as a surprise after reading these lines.

(or rather not coming as a surprise when considering how many users on here are sitting on the high horse)

[summerset 5,261]

But sometimes *I'm* the one who needs to step back, reevaluate my purpose for being here. Why do I post? is it to offer support and advice? Or is it to be a holier-than-thou snark queen who would rather be right than be helpful, constructive, and encouraging. You can absolutely disagree with someone and warn them against idiocy, but it's important to do it in a constructive way. If it ends up with cheap quips and insult, then be honest with yourself about why you're posting. If you can't contribute in a way that will be helpful, then keep scrolling. Because those who agree with you (aka me and many others) totally get your frustration, but all the new folks don't, and get intimidated, resentful, and end up refusing to accept any legit help/advice from us in the future.

Another post worth a full quote.

[summerset 5,261]

This is the rants & raves section where people come to, ya know, rant & rave,

I want a dime for every time I'm reading this. And then another dime for when I see that the people who wrote it get offended because someone didn't agree with their precious opinion.