Kinda aggro. My Dad is SUPPOSED to be loaning me the 8-10K that my insurance does not cover (yes, I know it is VERY close to self pay..). I told him that I was approved and I had my date (Dec 14th) and he kinda ignored me. I am visiting him in Virginia. He is a body worker and was working on my 'skinny' shins and said, "You know you are not that big that you need to have surgery." and "I am worried that they are going to mess you up.". Now...I get the worry part, I really do. I bailed out of his surgery-when it was paid for 6 years ago for my worries! But, IMHO my Dad is part of the reason I am overweight. He used to criticize my body so much as a kid/teen (when I was normal weight) and all the other women around us, that it damaged my body image (I was 5 11 and 160-170 in high school), and intentionally didn't pay full child support in an attempt to flush my mom out and have us live with him. I know there was a point when we were not getting correct Vitamins and nutrients as kids with her, kids. I think that leads to overeating in an attempt to get what you need. I still have anxiety when I see a empty fridge. But, enough about my childhood... Point is, I told my Dad that I have been obese for 16 years, I weight 288, 41 BMI, arthritis both my knees and ACL surgery on one, meaning knee replacement surgery is a probability in the future. I am 46 years old and "dieting" myself higher and higher.. In spring he ordered me boxes of supplements to lose weight. He is of the "keep trying" and "all you have to do..." camp. That is nice, but at what point to you admit that this is not working? At some point continuing to do the same thing over and over and expecting different results is foolish. He started telling me about the "majority of people who regain"..yada, yada. I am afraid he isn't going to loan me the money. I am mad at myself for not doing it before. I am very mad for having credit so messed up that at 46 I have to borrow from my father (even though he is always helping my brother..). I don't want him to bail and I of course, want it to work..

*now*

... My Dad is SUPPOSED to be loaning me... told him that I was approved and I had my date (Dec 14th) and he kinda ignored me.... I am afraid he isn't going to loan me the money. . I don't want him to bail ...

If your concern at the moment is the money because you can't have surgery without it, all the other stuff is irrelevant at the moment. This is the time to talk business and not old wounds.

Your surgery date is only days away. You don't have time to hint and play shy games. Ask your father now for a check while you're in Virginia so that the payment clears your bank in time. If he was going to cover you in another way, make the arrangement now. I gather that he told you before that he'd give you the loan (if that's what it really will be)? Even so, there is no such thing as "supposed to" in the real world. People either honor their word or they don't. The truth is that he may disappoint you. You need to know now. If he hems-and-haws, you have nothing to lose by being firm in asking for his help. Let him know that this is important to you. Be firm. If he tries to weasel out, remind him that you've never before asked for financial help and that you are his child, too.

I hope that, in the end, this all goes easily and smoothly with no need for discussion.

Edited November 26, 20169 yr by WLSResources/ClothingExch

I guess what annoys me, is he spent DECADES trashing my size. When I was this height and younger, he would even tell people about his "Big" daughter...and nowwwwww I am not too big for surgery??

I contacted my surgeon to get the exact amount due by Dec 2 and they gave me a different amount. See, I have to pay 5k out of pocket and 20%. I wanted to know the exact 20% and to whom to pay the 5k. The guy was confused, I said, get back to me and I need it in writing...that way I can say, "Ok Dad, here we are...". I will contact them again on Monday (I will be back in Texas at that time.)

I have asked for help before, but not much. Mainly, when I was getting a divorce and my ex took all funds and I was having to fight a custody battle with no funds (He did kindly give me 5K for that fun time).

Anna nim may i ask what part of tx your having it in.

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Anna nim may i ask what part of tx your having it in.

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Austin.