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I had lots of food funerals before I had surgery. Usually they were Sunday nights (because diets start on Mondays) the 31st of the month (because diets start on the 1st), and the night of every major hurt (because clearly we were hurt because we were fat so the diet must start the next day). I also had one before my 1 week liquid diet. Your liver will not be any fattier than would otherwise be the case because two weeks before surgery you had yourself a food binge, so it really just comes down to whether it's something you feel like doing.

On an interesting note, I haven't had a food funeral since surgery and it's been 38 months. Now, if I want something, I eat it, except I eat such a small amount that there's no need to binge and go on a diet the next day because I know if I want it again in the future, a few bites is all I need and I can have it. A few weeks ago I started eating Fiber One Cookies, which is a great way to gain weight, and I found myself throwing out a leftover box on Sunday night so I wouldn't eat them on Monday. I intentionally left them in my pantry for the next two weeks instead of tossing them so I would see that I control food now, it doesn't control me.

In hindsight, I would have still had my food funeral before surgery, although I might have cried less afterward if I had known that more than three years in the future I would be the person I am now- someone who doesn't need food funerals anymore, who doesn't think about dieting the first day of every week, of every month, and after every major disappointment, and whose first thought when things went wrong isn't that if I wasn't fat and worthless things would be different.

Food funerals are ok and just like real funerals, sometimes it just means that you're getting the closure you need to move on to a better place.

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In hindsight, I would have still had my food funeral before surgery, although I might have cried less afterward if I had known that more than three years in the future I would be the person I am now- someone who doesn't need food funerals anymore, who doesn't think about dieting the first day of every week, of every month, and after every major disappointment, and whose first thought when things went wrong isn't that if I wasn't fat and worthless things would be different.

Food funerals are ok and just like real funerals, sometimes it just means that you're getting the closure you need to move on to a better place.

I so identify with your post! That is so me. My life has been consumed by starting the next diet, screwing it up, and then figuring out when to start the next diet after that...ever since the age of 13 (I'm now 49)...yikes! My surgery is Jan. 9 and I had my first session with the nutritionist today. I am super psyched about my surgery and the tool that I'm going to have to help me become the person I want to be. I found your post very inspiring and I hope to be like you in three years. :)

So for now, I'm having a few food funerals of my own because I just feel like it. Interestingly, as was eating a Wendy's double bacon cheeseburger yesterday (had a HUGE craving), I got about half way through and found it just didn't taste as good as I expected it to. Huh. Go figure. Don't really care if I eat another one any time soon (which is a good thing...lol). Same thing happened last weekend when I was eating out at a Mexican restaurant with my hubby. I was planning a BIG funeral for chili rellenos and after eating a few bites, it just wasn't all that great. I was like...ok...done with that. It's almost like my brain knows a big life change is coming and is already moving in the right direction. Weird, but I'll take it. Now...if that would only happen with the wretched french fries!!!

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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