Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Not telling anyone. What do you say?



Recommended Posts

Well, the guidelines for bariatric surgery are continuously evolving. There is evidence of the benefit of bariatric surgery for Class 1 Obesity (30+BMI) as well as the benefit for overweight patients with significant comorbidities, of which I have about 10. That, coupled with a rapid weight gain over the past year does actually qualify me for surgery.

My original sleeve was made larger than most because of my severe GERD. Unfortunately the sleeve has made it worse. My surgeon recommended a bypass prior to my sleeve surgery, but I was too scared to do it.

Remember that there is a broad range of what is considered safe medical practice, and there are indeed reputable surgeons who will do bariatric surgery for patients like me.

I support everyone in doing whatever is best for them, including choosing their surgeon and procedure.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Then we can all be grateful that you nth licenced to practice medicine.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told my family first. I waited until I had gone through all the steps and had a surgery date before telling a couple people at work. I have had 3 other surgeries in less than a year (both feet and a new knee) so another surgery with the possibility of being out of work 6 weeks (right after I took a 3 week vacation) was a big deal. I kept it quiet at work although my department knew I was having another surgery until about a week before. I made the 'announcement' in a departmental meeting. I didn't want people to see me losing weight quickly, possibly losing my hair and thinking the worse. I've gotten nothing but positive feedback.

Giggling..... one of the reasons I started telling also. I didn't want people thinking I was a meth or drug addict.

Sent from my SM-N900T using the BariatricPal App

I didn't want them to think I had cancer

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told very few people at first. And no one wants to hear Portion Control and exercise so that's exactly what I said til they stopped asking. LOL. They want to hear that you're taking a magic pill or are doing some kind of easy weight loss yoga. After awhile I opened up about it. I just didn't want to hear horror stories and OH NO YOU LOOK FINE when I was fat as hell and unhappy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have already told people at work and all of my family know. The people at work have seen me struggle with diet after diet and give up. They are supportive. One is my boss and she needs to know in case I have to miss more work for Dr visits or complications. I'm doing this for me.

Sent from my SM-G920V using the BariatricPal App

Actually, you do not need to give your employer the diagnosis (unless you want too). If your doctor has you on a lifting restriction of 10 lbs or less for 3 weeks, that what you need to disclose.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have already told people at work and all of my family know. The people at work have seen me struggle with diet after diet and give up. They are supportive. One is my boss and she needs to know in case I have to miss more work for Dr visits or complications. I'm doing this for me.

Sent from my SM-G920V using the BariatricPal App

Actually, you do not need to give your employer the diagnosis (unless you want too). If your doctor has you on a lifting restriction of 10 lbs or less for 3 weeks, that what you need to disclose.
True. I didn't need to. But they are happy for me and I don't have to worry about asking for days off. I have my fmla paperwork filled out. I've always been a very open person.

Sent from my SM-G920V using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So... the forum is totally okay with @RealScoobyDoo and Imdeb being the same sockpuppet?

@@LipstickLady , thoughts?

Edited by Fredbear

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not being nasty. In general most websites prohibit sockpuppets.

Sockpuppets are generally used by unscrupulous people to make it appear that other people agree with them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ImDeb, sorry I didn't realize that you have the corner on rudeness . I've been an advance practice nurse a patient advocate and high risk case manager for over 30 years. Amazing how your reinterpretation of information you found on the HIA website fits so perfectly with your agenda.

And what is the deal with you and @realscoobydoo? Weird how one of you posts and the other is there to chime in.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told everyone I have daily contact with. The day before my surgery I sent out a mass email to all my co-workers telling them I was having the surgery. I didn't post it on social media only because I tend to not post really personal things. But I'm very honest about it. I started a new job five months after the surgery and I was talking about it the first day I was there. My experience has been phenomenal. Nobody has said one unkind thing to me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm always fascinated by this topic because like "Imighknow", I too am very very private and dont like telling people my business. It stems from growing up and sharing information with people who I thought were friends, only to have it used against me and embarrass me later. I have real trust issues with the 'general public' and have learned the hard way to keep my business to myself. I've only shared this with my husband and the two girls I work with because my schedule affects them directly. They've been very supportive and excited for me. But no one else knows and I'm going to keep it that way. I still don't know what i'm going to say once I start seeing friends/family who will most definitely ask what I've been doing. My mother cannot keep her mouth shut and will tell everyone she knows. I come from a very judgmental family who think they have all the answers to life and know how everyone else should do things. Its exhausting being around them.

My friends are all trying to lose weight as well, but they all like to gossip and share info that they shouldn't - I've had them tell me things about people they should not be telling anyone. So, I'm not sure what I'll be saying to them either. But I cannot confide it any of these folks because I don't want my business shared and I know they cannot keep info to themselves.

I applaud all of you who feel so comfortable in sharing your info so freely. it sounds like its benefitted others and it makes you happy. I think that's great. I wish I had the same experiences, but having been burned too many times in the past, I've learned that I have to keep my information to myself and just let people wonder. I don't like going on Facebook that much because its just an endless stream of people over-sharing and others jumping in and shaming them for their decisions. People like being snarky and bullies. Its safer in the corner. Heh...

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not being nasty. In general most websites prohibit sockpuppets.

Sockpuppets are generally used by unscrupulous people to make it appear that other people agree with them.

I think in this case the poster is just angry and insecure. I grew up in Manhattan so know better than too make eye contact so and regret regret engaging

I noticed today that there are several posters who seem to travel in packs and post their agreements and "likes"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I started out telling on immediate family, but then closer to my surgery I told more people and the girls at work.. everyone has been super supportive and it's nice that I can just be truthful about it.. it was my choice, and I'm happy with it.. good luck

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×