I thought I had more time! (Kinda long)

[Candygyrl 637]

I'm sorry If this bothers some of you. if you don't want to read about someone mad about their rapidly melting curves then move on.

Ok I know I should be eternally grateful to all the powers that be yaddy yaddy yah BUT. I knew I had at least a year to try and get to goal or lose as much as possible because things would slow down significantly after 12 mos post op. Obviously I want to see myself get to or under goal within that time frame and I knew that I would probably lose the curves I value so much by the time I got there buuuuuuut I thought I had more time.

I desperately wanted to get to Onederland because-- who doesn't?!? I remember years ago when I started gaining weight I got the booty I always wanted when I hit about 165. Of course with each passing 10 lbs (at a rate of about 10-15 lbs a yr for the next 7-8 years) it only got bigger. So needless to say there comes a point where your weight starts to distribute to other areas like the thighs, lovehandles, stomach, arms etc and then it's not cute anymore. Well after surgery I had accepted that by the time I hit goal I'd probably lose all my lovely curves but in the mean time and in between time I thought I'd have some time before me and my curves parted ways. Specifically between the weights of 160-195lbs I thought I'd have a little fun fittling back into smaller clothes while ALSO enjoying my smaller waistline and still bigger hips and butt. WELLLLLL I am sadly mistaken.

Currently I am about 191 lbs. Hit Onederland 2nd week of October planned to be in the high 180's low 190's by 10/31 and yes I made it. Next goal is 175 by the end of November, early December and then about 5lbs every month therafter until goal. But my curves have also begun to rapidly disappear at a rate that's concerning and also disappointing. When I was 190 in the past-- I could squeeze into a womens 14. Maybe a 12 if I was lucky. My butt was very very big. Hips even bigger. Specifically my hips/butt was about 52 inches. Now at 190, I can fit easily into a 10 and Medium shirts and IM NOT COMPLAINING but I'm just trying to understand why things are this different. I haven't measured but I'm sure my hips/butt is about 46 inches. I mean I'm a little flabby but not anything concerning at this point.

Which means in another 30 lbs I might be in a 6? At 160? I was barely able to fit clothes in the Jr section at 160. I mean it was a struggle!!! Which was why I started yo yo dieting in the first place. I have stopped going to the gym because I don't know what to do. I don't want to do another minute of cardio due to the speed of weight loss. I mean don't get me wrong. I'm definitely on track. I don't think I'm losing any faster or slower than I should be. I am ready now that I'm just slightly past halfway to goal to do more weights and lifting, toning and resistance training for the rest of the way until I get where I want to be. If I didn't have the surgery I would've probably went for another 15 lbs and then stopped. I can't eat very much so I can't slow things down and I want desperately to lose weight but I guess it's happening quicker than I expected and my curves with it.

I am so grateful for the victories along the way I went to the amusement park Saturday and was able to for the first time in several years get on EVERY single ride. My husband attributes this to the fact that my big ol butt is ALLLLLL Goooooooone. I think that hurt my feelings even though I know he didn't mean to I'm like really? That's how you feel? its ALLLLLLLL GOOOOOOONE??? already? I took pictures and actually like the way I look in them for the first time in at least 7 years! Soooo that means a lot! I'm healthy. High Blood pressure is GONE! Insulin resistance NO MORE!!!!!!!! So I know I'm being very petty right now but it does bother me. I think this open enrollment period I will start a health savings account through my employer and start putting money aside for my breast augmentation and brazillian butt lift or Lipo with Gluteal fat injections. Since my WLS was paid for 100% via insurance-- Surely I could save at least half of the amount for my cosmetic procedures and the other half I'll put on my credit card.

Any tips in the meanwhile??? Shapewear that gives you a butt lift? Exercise regimen?

Edited October 31, 2016 by Candygyrl

[Dashofpixiedust8 1,469]

I don't have any tips but I just want to say CONGRATULATIONS!! You have done AMAZING things! Also I would say..I understand how you might feel that way. I expect to feel that way when I'm at goal.

I know I am not even close to goal but I want to say a few things. Every time you lose weight you lose it differently and that can be incredibly frustrating when you expect one result and get another. We hold these images in our head of what we want to look like at different weights and when it's different..even if we have done incredible things to get here..it can be disheartening.

I suggest 2 things. Start saving money for cosmetic surgeries you might need. This will help in the end. Also, maybe see a therapist that can help you sort through these conflicting feelings.

In the end I just want to say, I understand and you are not crazy or being petty. You are being human.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Butterflywarrior 241]

I just got sleeved so I don't have much in wisdom to add but I think your doing great. I wish I was where you are now!

I do think from a psychological perspective, something i know a little more about, it IS a new body adjustment for better or worse and the changes were fast. More then what you expected. So it's good you are happy with your photos...how many ppl can say that?? I read in one book a suggestion to spend time looking at your body in the mirror each day. Learn your new self and love it. I've also read you should wait at least two years after goal weight before getting plastics bc things can change in terms is skin tightening and emotionally adjusting.

It's good you realize your husband's butt comment wasn't meant to be hurtful but hurt due to your own hurt over your butt being gone!! The fact that your married and seems ur husband is supporting and happy not body shaming you is grand so it's up to your attitude to accept the new you!!

[Armygalbonnie 643]

Does it help to know that clothes manufacturers are making larger clothes with a smaller size now? Women are so caught up on the size they buy (myself included). When a woman buys a smaller size she is usually happy. When we are happy, we buy more clothes and spend more money. Embrace your new body and much improved health.

[Candygyrl 637]

Thanks guys I feel like I'm tripping but I feel like (although that didnt' happen) I just woke up and my body was different. I guess I feel like I've been every weight leading up to my highest. I remember what I looked like, and what size I wore, the clothes I wore because it didn't happen overnight and I had a little time in each 10 lb increment. I pictured that on the way down that It would be like that but in reverse. @@Dashofpixiedust8 you're right-- I think I'm In shock and I guess I just wanted to lose weight so BAAAAAADLYY that I never thought about how I would react to my body changing. It's an adjustment getting used to a new me. Who would've thunk???

@@Butterflywarrior very insightful... it's up to me. My attitude-- my feelings about me determine how I will respond. I am still getting used to me and I will continue to change physically. This is only the beginning. I really hated my old body-- so why am I mourning it. Sooooo I will have to learn to love the new me so that I don't grow to hate the new me too.

@armygalbonnie-- yes I do think some clothing manufacturers are quite generous with their sizing and fabrics. I can fit some 10's and in another brand I can't get into the 12 until I'm in a 8! LOL. All I am saying that years before-- I couldn't fit into a 10 at 190 if I slathered up with lard and jumped into it from 30 ft so there have definitely been some changes....

I think it all boils down to I need to get used to the new me. There's way too many positives to look back. I guess it will just take time.

[busybeebug 415]

Great job on the rapid weight loss! Mad props to you!

I'm feeling a little of what you are talking about. I am anxious about looking like a deflated balloon. I spoke to my Nut, Surgeon and a physical therapist. All of them said without an ounce of hesitation that exercise and light weight/resistance training will help keep you firm and potentially avoid saggy floppies and deflated sad tush.

If you can speak to a physical therapist or a trainer to suggest exercises to help keep the curves curving. They said you dont have to commit to hours at the gym to tone up.

I'm not far out at all so I can't speak to the results part.

I also have continued therapy to help me transition through these issues both good and bad.

[Candygyrl 637]

@@busybeebug that's my next step... I'm going to train over the next few months and see if I can have a hand in reconstructing this new body o'mine.

[BigViffer 3,545]

I can't speak to curves or anything like that, but I wanted to chime in address the myth that light weights/high reps will do anything other than increase endurance at light weight. I could type it all out again, but it's easier to just post a link to one of the infinite articles detailing why there is no such thing as "toning":

http://www.bodybuilding.com/content/the-myth-of-toning.html

So to your point though; if you are wanting thick legs and glutes, there is only one thing you can do. Squats. Barbell, Kettlebell, or Dumbell... take your pick. But that is the defacto exercise for building all of the glutes and legs:

Two things to point out in regards to that picture though. The high bar squat can only be done with very low weights or else you risk injury to the vertebra of the neck. You should have the bar on the traps, so if you aim for the low bar position in the beginning you will at least hit the correct high bar position or lower.

The second thing to point out is her face is pointing up and that is just begging for neck pain. Look down about 6-8 feet in front of you then drive the hips up and not forward. Common misconception.

Anyways, good luck developing the muscle/curves you want!

[Diana_in_Philly 1,426]

Get back in the gym and get a personal trainer. Your issue is that in the past the booty was all fat. Now you want it to be all muscle and that takes time and work. Squats, leg press, ham and quad work will make all the difference in the world. Weights at least 2x a week to tighten everything up and you'll be surprised how once you work the muscles things with "lift".

[Babbs 14,681]

@@BigViffer

Great article! I bookmarked it

[ShelterDog64 2,364]

@@Candygyrl We're both June surgeries, I think, and I do understand what you're saying. I've gained and lost the same 50/75 pounds over and over and over and over...and this is the first time the weight has come off the way it's happening now. I usually lose weight in my face, arms and stomach, with my butt and legs grudgingly releasing a few pounds, but never an amount in proportion with the rest of my body. THIS TIME, the first thing to go was my upper back fat, then my belly, but also my thighs, calves and butt. I've always had a generous, high-profile butt and it's disappearing. I'm not as pleased by that as I expected to be...it's nice to hear from someone else that they're feeling the same. And my upper arms! I have wings now, and I think if I'd lost that weight a bit slower maybe they wouldn't be so, flappy?, for lack of a better word.

I had to have an unexpected shoulder surgery in September and it's really impacted my ability to go to the gym and do strength training. I really think that's key for us women who want to keep our butts/thighs looking healthy. I just got cleared to start doing leg and ab machines, I'm hoping some weighted squats and leg presses will help build more prominent muscle in those areas so I don't end up with a pancake butt

Otherwise, congratulations to you...it's been fun being on this trip with a few names I see over and over, watching us all get healthier and more confident in ourselves

[BigViffer 3,545]

I mentioned it before, but I just want to reiterate: Be careful with "personal trainers". Some are just gym rats and meatheads that attended a seminar while others actually have an education. If the trainer has a background in physical therapy, then I would say go for it. If they have no significant credentials, be prepared for overly sore muscles, poor technique, and supplement sales pitches.

Also, remember than all machines are isolation exercises. You will not be training your body in a real world method. Leg presses are good for those people that literally cannot perform the physical motion of a squat for any number of reasons. If you can get into a proper squat position with a broom stick across your back, then you are better off doing that than 50lbs on a leg press machine. Here is a great blog article about the squat:

https://overld.me/2014/07/28/stop-the-press/

Near the end, the guy does mention that the press is still a valid exercise for the beginner or the advanced lifter. But it is a distant second to the squat.

[VSG_Brandnewkindame 17]

I can't speak to curves or anything like that, but I wanted to chime in address the myth that light weights/high reps will do anything other than increase endurance at light weight. I could type it all out again, but it's easier to just post a link to one of the infinite articles detailing why there is no such thing as "toning":

http://www.bodybuilding.com/content/the-myth-of-toning.html

So to your point though; if you are wanting thick legs and glutes, there is only one thing you can do. Squats. Barbell, Kettlebell, or Dumbell... take your pick. But that is the defacto exercise for building all of the glutes and legs:

Two things to point out in regards to that picture though. The high bar squat can only be done with very low weights or else you risk injury to the vertebra of the neck. You should have the bar on the traps, so if you aim for the low bar position in the beginning you will at least hit the correct high bar position or lower.

The second thing to point out is her face is pointing up and that is just begging for neck pain. Look down about 6-8 feet in front of you then drive the hips up and not forward. Common misconception.

Anyways, good luck developing the muscle/curves you want!

Great info!!!

[losergrl75 277]

I'm sorry If this bothers some of you. if you don't want to read about someone mad about their rapidly melting curves then move on.

Ok I know I should be eternally grateful to all the powers that be yaddy yaddy yah BUT. I knew I had at least a year to try and get to goal or lose as much as possible because things would slow down significantly after 12 mos post op. Obviously I want to see myself get to or under goal within that time frame and I knew that I would probably lose the curves I value so much by the time I got there buuuuuuut I thought I had more time.

I desperately wanted to get to Onederland because-- who doesn't?!? I remember years ago when I started gaining weight I got the booty I always wanted when I hit about 165. Of course with each passing 10 lbs (at a rate of about 10-15 lbs a yr for the next 7-8 years) it only got bigger. So needless to say there comes a point where your weight starts to distribute to other areas like the thighs, lovehandles, stomach, arms etc and then it's not cute anymore. Well after surgery I had accepted that by the time I hit goal I'd probably lose all my lovely curves but in the mean time and in between time I thought I'd have some time before me and my curves parted ways. Specifically between the weights of 160-195lbs I thought I'd have a little fun fittling back into smaller clothes while ALSO enjoying my smaller waistline and still bigger hips and butt. WELLLLLL I am sadly mistaken.

Currently I am about 191 lbs. Hit Onederland 2nd week of October planned to be in the high 180's low 190's by 10/31 and yes I made it. Next goal is 175 by the end of November, early December and then about 5lbs every month therafter until goal. But my curves have also begun to rapidly disappear at a rate that's concerning and also disappointing. When I was 190 in the past-- I could squeeze into a womens 14. Maybe a 12 if I was lucky. My butt was very very big. Hips even bigger. Specifically my hips/butt was about 52 inches. Now at 190, I can fit easily into a 10 and Medium shirts and IM NOT COMPLAINING but I'm just trying to understand why things are this different. I haven't measured but I'm sure my hips/butt is about 46 inches. I mean I'm a little flabby but not anything concerning at this point.

Which means in another 30 lbs I might be in a 6? At 160? I was barely able to fit clothes in the Jr section at 160. I mean it was a struggle!!! Which was why I started yo yo dieting in the first place. I have stopped going to the gym because I don't know what to do. I don't want to do another minute of cardio due to the speed of weight loss. I mean don't get me wrong. I'm definitely on track. I don't think I'm losing any faster or slower than I should be. I am ready now that I'm just slightly past halfway to goal to do more weights and lifting, toning and resistance training for the rest of the way until I get where I want to be. If I didn't have the surgery I would've probably went for another 15 lbs and then stopped. I can't eat very much so I can't slow things down and I want desperately to lose weight but I guess it's happening quicker than I expected and my curves with it.

I am so grateful for the victories along the way I went to the amusement park Saturday and was able to for the first time in several years get on EVERY single ride. My husband attributes this to the fact that my big ol butt is ALLLLLL Goooooooone. I think that hurt my feelings even though I know he didn't mean to I'm like really? That's how you feel? its ALLLLLLLL GOOOOOOONE??? already? I took pictures and actually like the way I look in them for the first time in at least 7 years! Soooo that means a lot! I'm healthy. High Blood pressure is GONE! Insulin resistance NO MORE!!!!!!!! So I know I'm being very petty right now but it does bother me. I think this open enrollment period I will start a health savings account through my employer and start putting money aside for my breast augmentation and brazillian butt lift or Lipo with Gluteal fat injections. Since my WLS was paid for 100% via insurance-- Surely I could save at least half of the amount for my cosmetic procedures and the other half I'll put on my credit card.

Any tips in the meanwhile??? Shapewear that gives you a butt lift? Exercise regimen?

I swear you and I were separated at birth girl! Lol. I know exactly what you mean. I know that I have read that surgery resets your metabolism, so I am curious if this is why it also changes the way we have lost weight vs how we have lost it in the past. I have yoyo dieted for years and as I was losing weight and hitting certain goals--my body and how my weight is distributed is way tinier than it has been in the past. I am currently bouncing back and forth between 145-147 and I am in some 6's mostly 8's. In the past , I would have been struggling to get a size 10 over my thighs just to wear a belt around my waist to compensate. My legs/thighs are skinny and I have never had skinny legs , even when I was young and naturally skinny. I'm definitely not complaining, it's nice to actually be able to wear clothes off the rack without having them taken in because I had to buy a size up to compensate my butt and thighs. I did end up stopping my weight loss phase and moving to maintenance at a little bit higher weight because I was smaller at this weight than I had anticipated. I guess it's a good problem for us to have lol I wear slight control top boy short style underwear just because I feel like they push my booty up a little bit. I am going on vacation soon where I will be wearing some halter maxi dresses and body con dresses and I plan on ordering some of those butt enhancing underwear that have the butt out ( like the infamous Prince pants). My girlfriend ordered some off Ebay and they really lifted her butt up and made it fuller! And they come down on the thighs to hold that all in nice and tight too.

[kelliev2015 136]

I kind of know what you mean. I'm 163 now and feel like my clothes fit different from when I was 150 or so. Are you working out? Doing squats and lunges will help keep your booty only it'll be nice and firm. [emoji3]