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HELP!!! Totally disappointed!!!



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:think I am so frustrated (not to mention disappointed)! The "orginal" plan was to take out some stock money that we have to pay for the lap band. Now, DH want to wait until the 1st of the year for tax reasons (capital gains etc...). I have my consult set up for the 24th and then surgery would be scheduled within the next month. I had my heart (and my mind) set on this. I really, really, really don't want to wait another 4 months. It seems like this band is consuming my every thought!

Does anyone have any convincing arguments that I could plead to my husband now? He is not overweight and just doesn't get it. God bless him. :faint:Anything?

Thanks all!!

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Well you are right that if he does not have a weight problem that he does not get it. Try to reason with him that a few dollars saved is not worth compromising you physical and mental health.

good luck...I know how consuming it can be.

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Ok, this might be so dumb an idea, but i have been where you have often with my husband, we are extrememly broke all the time, an have months on end where we basically pay only bills and get few other things. SO...my point is, we always make plans to do things in a couple of months, but then some other things come up, and the plans are forgotten or pushed farther away.

If I really really want something, I just don't let up, I find every convincing argument in my favor, and throw it at him. Yeah, it does piss him off time to time, becasue he knows that I know that we can't afford it. BUT he also knows me well enough that if I don't let up, it must be pretty important. And he loves me enough to help find a way. I like to think if my husband an I were rich, we'd never fight, because it seems that's all we ever argue about. Perhaps he has bought something really expensive you didn't want him to, but he worked you over until you gave in? Bring that up. I taught my guy about the band through this website, he was pretty interested when I would read him stuff, it helped me to get him involved. Perhaps you could print out some of the really inspiring stories on here and put them by the john? ;) I can be a Smooth Operator with my husband when I want something, I just have to show him how bad he wants it. Good Luck. I hope I have been helpful a little.

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I would ask him to compromise...if he doesn't want to cash in stocks now...then tell him you want to take a short term loan now...then you'll pay it off after Jan 1st. Tell him this means A LOT to you and you're willing to pay interest or capital gain if necessary. He'll still be stuck with Capital Gain NEXT tax season, so what's the difference? This is not a sweater he's saying "wait" on...you have to make it VERY clear that this is VERY important to YOU and that you need his support NOW, whether he 'understands' or not.

Just my .02

Good luck to ya! ;)

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Suggest that he talk to his tax adviser NOW, so that he can determine what the actual effects to your return would be. And remember, everything related to the surgery is tax deductible on your schedule A (subject to the 7.5% limitations), so they may counterbalance each other.

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I agree. The most compelling argument is that the surgery is tax deductible in most cases.

The other thing to think about is getting one of those financing deals lap band Drs. know about, getting the surgery now, paying 4 months of interest, and paying off the loan after the first of the year.

I think both of you should sit down and figure which scenario helps the most...........

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Yep, that's what I did. I always get offers from my credit card companies for 0% for 6 months or whatever....so I called all three of them and explained that I wanted to charge $13000 and what kind of deal could they offer me? I got 0% for 6 months. I was waiting for stock incentive to vest (which it has) and now I'm just waiting for the price to stabilize a bit then I will sell and pay off the loan. All for 0% interest!!! ;)

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Sell 1/2 the stock now, and 1/2 in January!!!

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I was going to suggest the same as Terry did above!!!

Another thing you could do to help convince him is to go to the Before and Afters and show him where you could bein 4 months---many people are down by even 50 pounds in that length of time. Keeping in mind, the more you have to lose, the faster you will lose it...but 4 months can make a huge change!!!

Good Luck!

Kat

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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