I am 5 days away from 1.5 years post VSG.

I have not posted much recently as the last six months have been a real struggle (I know, that is the time to post, but I withdraw when stressed, but changing that now!!). Between the death of a loved one, work stress and freaking out after losing 175 pounds, was on f-it street for a bit, but I am back. I know I will have more loss in me. I am working on the emotional issues that lead me back to sugar and eating the wrong things.

In addition to my emotional/self-care work, I am doing a "back to basics" today. Some call it the "5 day pouch test".

Please join me if you want a reset or going back to basics.

Days 1 & 2: Liquid Protein

low-carb Protein shakes, broth, clear or cream soups, sugar-free Gelatin and pudding.

Day 3: Soft Protein
canned fish (tuna or salmon) eggs, fresh soft fish (tilapia, sole, orange roughy.

Day 4: Firm Protein
ground meat (turkey, beef, chicken, lamb), shellfish, scallops, lobster, fresh salmon or halibut.

Day 5: Solid Protein
white meat poultry, beef steak, pork, lamb, wild game

http://5daypouchtest.com/plan/theplan.html

I am having lots of empathy for those pre-op and immediately post-op, only a few hours in and already wondering why I publicly declared I'd do this!

Amazing how easily I forgot the challenge of liquidds only. It is a great opportunity to reflect on how I got here, and what I can do to get back on my path.

It was really hard for me to post on here that I got off my path, but I know it helps me with accountability. My husband and friends are great, but they always (always) remind me that I've lost 175 lbs, not seeming to understand that I have more that I want and need to lose.

I can both celebrat how far I've come yet be motivated to do more. I am motivated by the stories I read here, so thank you for reading part of mine.

edited to take away my words linking to store

Edited October 11, 20169 yr by butterfly23

Good for you, butterfly23. I'm 9 weeks out from being sleeved but am dealing with end of life care for my mother. I fully understand the struggles that come along with the stress of an impending death, work, family, and all the other responsibilities of life.

Let us know how you do and glad you are getting back in control.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

@@GrandmaBee55 thanks for your post and thank you for sharing about your mother. She is blessed to have you supporting her, that cannot be easy to care for her while so soon after surgery. I appreciate your support, sending you the same!

I'm allergic to all seafood/shellfish... but this looks like a great way to get back on track

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

I am having lots of empathy for those pre-op and immediately post-op, only a few hours in and already wondering why I publicly declared I'd do this!

I'm on day 8 pre-op liquid diet. It's rough but not as bad as I expected. It's head hunger and cravings that are the worst - I'm not even physically hungry. Stay strong - you can get back on track!!! Your loss so far is inspirational!!!

@ thank you. I am actually a vegetarian so not sticking to this exactly, just the general theme of very low carb liquidds then soft proteinn etc.

This has been a very insightful process thus far for me. I am much more aware of my urges and cravings, and what I may truly be wanting instead of eating. Even if this doesn't reset my restriction, I've already gotten so much out of going back to liquids only.

In many ways, I think I needed to a few months at this weight to get used to this new me and figure out this next part of my work, and now I can re-adjust my goals to move forward.

again, edited to remove links to buying items.

Edited October 12, 20169 yr by butterfly23

@@KristenLe glad to hear it isn't as bad as you expected. I so agree about the head hunger. I believe I saw in another thread your surgery is next week, yay! May this next week be swift and smooth.

Fourth day today - went an extra day on liquids now moving to soft Protein. While I am not doing this to lose weight, I have lost 5 pounds just in these few days of liquids. I would recommend this reset to anyone who is struggling with food choices, its been a blessing.

Why I am really doing this is to re-establish my health patterns I had during my first year, to be mindful of the cravings and head hunger and reasons why I have urges. It has really helped to be back in that place of all decisions made - low carb liquids only so I can focus on what I need to heal to move forward.

I feel back in control, which is what I needed. I am so thankful for this site as a place to put my thoughts and experiences, thank you for taking the time to read.

Going back to basics was really enlightening to me, and today on my 1.5 year surgiversary, I am grateful for BP and anyone who takes the time to read my post.

I've lost 175 plus pounds and yet struggle every day with disappointment and shame with myself that it is not more because I allowed carbs to creep back in.

Yet, this is not about the loss, it is about the gain of lifelong skills to be healthy and make healthy choices, not just in food/drink but in life.

I had a very nice weight loss from this week, but more importantly re-connected with my mindfulness about what I put in my mouth. I am back to tracking, and my restriction feels increased, and my cravings are less.

Other lessons learned:

• feeling guilt and shame about what I put in my mouth is not helpful, and often triggers unhealthy choices. (and the need to balance compassion with accountability)
• I used my weight as boundary and now with much less weight to protect me, my vulnerability can lead to fear which leads to cravings (and the need to develop non-weight boundaries)
• after periods of success, I seem to sabotage myself with both "oh you can handle this" or "its only a matter of time before you mess up, might as well do it now" which both leads to unhealthy choices (need to dive deeper here to figure out why - I feel like I do not deserve to succeed and use mindfulness to interrupt these moments)
• because of massive childhood trauma, it is very challenging for me to take care of myself, I get burned out and rebel by not using my skills purposefully (need to practice more self-compassion)

Wow, this post got much longer than I meant. If you got to this point, thank you for reading. I have to admit, it is very humbling to try and be authentic and real here and share my story, especially with my shame (which is exactly why I am doing it). I also don't expect many will read to this point, my posts don't seem to garner much interest but they are cathartic for me.

I appreciate those on this site committed to doing this work for themselves and others, please continue to post what helps you maintain change as it inspires me!