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I can relate to your post Ladiebird. I've been with a few feeders, all thin men too... odd that. My sister-in-law is currently in a realationship with a man who adors fat women. (She and I are roughly the same size).

My dad also adored fat women. One of his favorite sayings was "a full barn and a plump wife never did any man harm." I know that he sabotaged every diet my mother was on. Oh sure, he would feed her, but we were a different story all together...

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Ladybird, this - "I know i should have shown greater control over my eating" is something we all feel, but take a look around! Nobody here can control their eating, which is why we all have bands. Your ex was wrong, and I admire you for having the sense to tell him to get lost.

I have a similar problem at home, but my husband doesn't intentionally try to sabotage me. He cooks too much (and too good) and he likes when I endulge with him, but when I get serious enough he stops. He admits that he likes having an eating partner, but he's also not a fat admirer. Sometimes I think life would be so simple if I would have married a fat-admirer - just sit there and eat and be adored! He loved me fat, but he thinks it's really cool that I'm losing weight. I still weigh over 200 pounds but he calls me his Skinny Wife!

People that sabotage are jealous and spiteful and not the kind of people I need around me.

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Hey!You girls are so right. I haven't even gotten my band yet,but I'm trying really hard to make better food choices. Last night my husband just pissed me off. He ask would I make him a grilled cheese sandwich and I told him yes but I had to make it with wheat bread cause thats all we had. He yells wheat bread YUCK!! I turned around and pointed my fingure at him and said "YEAH WHEAT BREAD AND YA BETTER GET USE TO IT CAUSE YOUR Cookies AND ICECREAM ARE GOING NEXT. HE LOOKED AT ME SO FUNNY.

He could stand to lose about 30 pounds himself and he never has had to deal with weight issues before. I don't think he does this intentionally but I feel like he better get ready to kick a few of his old eating habits when I get this band. I 'm hoping once he see's me going through all of this he will think about what hes eating. He has seen me struggle diet after diet and he has alawys been supportive of me but never really has watched what he eats. Now that his weight is catching up with him I hope he will see how hard it is to lose and get even more supportive of my efforts. I do all of the grocery shopping so I figure if i don't buy it then it wont be in the cabinet calling to my stomach!

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Good for you, Jaimie! And it's not just about losing weight. A person can have high cholesterol and/or a silent heart attack and be skinny as a rail. Sounds like you're helping your whole family live healthier. Keep up the good work!

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That was funny! My husband is clueless and can never seem to do the right thing. He'll offer me food on days I have strong willpower, so I get mad at him. But when I have PMS and I'm willing to eat glue, he won't let me near the kitchen. At least he's trying!

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I dated a gut-about ten years ago who was a closet FA. He dumped me because I was not fat enough for him. Huh? Well, I got married, had three kids, and am REALLY fat now. We spoke by email recently, and it turns out he is out of the FA closet now, and he is a Feeder. I guess a feeder is someone who gets his/her jollies off of watching someone overindulge in eating. Well, he was really excited I weighed so much now, and he admitted that he always wished I had been fatter. When I told him that I was getting weight loss surgery he stopped emailing me!

My husband now is constantly sabotaging me in my diet. He says he wants to see me happy, and knows just what will do it. I told him tonite that he has to help me to make sure I don't sneak anything (I am supposed to be fasting before my surgery). And he said he would help. Watch....when he tries to help me I will get mad at him for holding me back.....

Ahh...this relationship with food. I want to end it. It never got me anywhere good...

Joan

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Freudian slip...I dated a guy..not a gut.:cheeky

HAH HA HA HA HA Oh my gawd! that was too funny! And so appropate given the subject!!!!

My husband has some interesting stories about certian gay men chasing him and asking him out. Even when he weighted 600 pounds. He was flattered, but of course turned them down.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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