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Lisa,

Everyone is right so far here........remember, this is her food evil. We all have a reason why we are here. Maybe she HAS to have a food buddy wherever she goes in order to cope with her problem.....Trying to make is cute and fun. But her big ol' butt aint cute and fun anymore and she can't stop. She knows what she is doing to you, but in reality she can't help herself.........that is why she is overweight. Tell her she is welcome to keep on feasting, but it is getting you off track and you just can't "hang" with her anymore at lunch etc.......if you tell her you have to cut her "off" trust me, it will hurt her and she may just come around......Good Luck.

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I've never met Erin, but I have met Lisa, and would LOVE to be Lisa's lunch buddy. Erin doesn't realize what a wonderful thoughtful caring person Lisa IS.

I miss you.

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I hate to admit it, but I relate food to friendship. If someone comes over, I always want to get them something to eat/drink. If I go visit someone, I want to make something and bring them. I've always done a lot of baking as gifts to friends and neighbors (even in my "skinny" days). I love homemade, handmade things. That's one reason I loved Theresa's and Becky's hats so much!

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Ya, My mom thaught me to always have some food/drinks for guests and all my friends say to quit cooking...so I have. Vegis and cold cuts is about it now. I had to stop putting food first. We're not going to stave.

An other thing I try to do is only eat when I'm hungry.

I'll take hand made anyday..That's one thing I've been teaching my daughter.

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We are renting out our guest room temporarily to couple who we know. She was a big sabature. Always bringing me sweets and pints of ice cream even though I asked her not to many times. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, assuming she was doing it to try to be nice, and all the while, I was secretly giving the Snacks to my adult kids and their friends. Finally I had had it. I made a POINT and said...NO MORE food, Jane. If you want to give something to me, a nice flower or card is fine. Well, that night, she brought me a pint of my FAVORITE Haagan-Dais. I didn't say anything, but put it in the freezer. Later that evening, after my son and his G/F ate it, she asked if I enjoyed the ice cream. I said no, but my son and his G/F did alot. She was hurt. I told her if she INSISTED bringing crap into my home, just get whatever the kids liked since they didn't buy the stuff themselves, and I wouldn't be eating any of it. She said, "But I get it for you, because you like it so much. Otherwise I don't want to spend the money!" I said your choice is to STOP like I have asked you to do, or get whatever THEY want. Do you know, that was over 3 months ago, and the ONLY thing she brings home now are flowers??? LOL

-Blu-

233/172/125

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I miss you Vera! I still have our picture in my office (the one with Sachi wearing the boa.)

Well, I made it the whole week avoid Erin at lunch. But nothing's changed. Today I was in the middle of a deposition (meaning we had several people in the office needing my assistance) and Erin was on my feet like my dog, following every step, eating chocolate and trying to get my attention about a can of ravioli at 8:45 a.m.. I spun around and snapped, "this isn't a time to be discussing ravioli" and I walked in my office and closed the door, practically in her face. After the deposition, my attorney asked me to have lunch in the lunch room (he has to suffer because of Erin, since Jon and I have been lunching together for years.) Well, Erin saw us and joined us with her lunch consisting of (I'm not lying here): family size package of bread rolls, package of deli ham, package of cheese, large carton of potato salad, coke, a bag of fried chicken legs, a jar of mayo, a bottle of Ranch and a jar of mustard. It was all spread out, so another attorney walked by and said, "you're having a buffet??" All Erin's food looked like a picnic for the entire table. All I had was some slices of cheese for lunch while Jon had Soup, but Erin somehow made us look like hogs.

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Geez, sounds like Erin's a little slow on the uptake. Suggest she go downtown with you and pick out her casket. When she asks why tell her. "You're killing yourself, and driving me nuts. The least you should do is save your family the job of picking out the casket."

Then ask her if she's getting six of the male members of her family exercise equipmentfor Christmas. If she asks why explain to her that she'll want pall bearers who are fit, and strong.

Sounds extreme, but you'd think she'd get the hint. Good luck. Coworkers can be the worst or best part of our day.

Good luck, you deserve for things to get a little easier for you!

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I dont' think she means any harm... I only say this because it seem as if she too has a problem and she can control herself... I don't think she is trying to be spiteful as much as eating is probably the way she relates to people and the world. I never realized how much eating I did with one particular friend until I got the band... eating is what we did. Little by little our friendship has slipped away because I don't want to go eat. I tried to explain that I would like to do anything else... but she still took it as rejection. Maybe your answer Lisa is to keep her at arms length (if you can I know it's the office) until she understands that if she keeps talking about food you will have nothing to do with her.

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oops maybe I should have read all the post you have been avoiding her lol :(

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Marie,

HI I have been as sick as a dog... what that means I don't know... How are you? Now that I am back I can't wait to chat, but no ever seems to be on. Is there a time that we chat live? I miss all of you! Oh and I loved being sick for one reason and one reason only I took of five lbs of easy weight! :(

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This is the best place for venting. I just went in the kitchen to fill my daily Water jug. Erin was eating goodies and preparing her Breakfast of two muffin sandwiches, a Coke and a container of potato salad. Don't get me wrong, I ate just as bad till I weighed over 300 pounds, but I never let it affect anyone around me. My problem with Erin is that she has no shame whatsoever. We are both obese women, so every time she comes near me with mounds of food and Cokes, I feel like people are looking at "us" as if we are pigs. Like I'm guilty by association. Everybody knows that I've lost weight, but I see them looking at me like they are thinking "Lisa is going to gain all her weight back because her and Erin are always eating." It sucks, because I look forward to going into the lunchroom with Jon every day. But Erin took that daily pleasure away from me, because now I avoid her like the plague. Jon and I don't eat lunch together any more. My other co-worker, Karen, used to lunch with us every day but she hasn't been in the lunchroom for months because of Erin. I said good morning to Erin, but I walked away as she tried telling me about her weekend because I can't stand seeing her talk with her mouth full of food. Why doesn't she have an ounce of shame? We all know what it's like to be Erin, right? But gosh, could you imagine if she was trying to quit smoking and I offered her cigarettes every day? Or blew smoke in her face while handing her cigarette coupons, talking about the difference between regular and menthol while lighting smoke after smoke? What kind of person does that?

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Seriously, can't your bosses put some rules in effect about eating at the office...like what times and where, and then make everyone stick to them?

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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