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I blew up at work yesterday and yelled at a co-worker. This is the same girl, Erin, that I've complained about before because she sabotages my eating. I've had serious talks asking her not to tempt me with food or candy. No matter what I say, she still brings me food, talks about food, invites me to eat, etc. Yesterday she marched in my office to announce a platter of Cookies, and I lost it and started yelling. She turned beat red and stormed away. I felt bad so I apologized. She was humiliated because I yelled loud enough for everyone to hear, "FROM NOW ON I'M FINING YOU A QUARTER FOR EVERY SINGLE REFERENCE YOU MAKE TO FOOD IN MY OFFICE!" She finally "got it" and apologized and promised never to tempt me again. But it didn't last because 10:00 this morning she asked if I wanted Panda Express (one of my favorite binge places.) The word, "yes" started to come out of my mouth as my mind instantly imagined all the yummy, greasy dishes that I love, but somehow "no" came out, and I hung up. She doesn't have a clue how furious I am. So I meditated and decided to try one last thing, which is to ignore her completely. I'm her usual lunch buddy, but for now on she can sit alone every single day, which she'll hate. Hell, I'll even close my door to really burn her. She knows everything about my surgeries, my struggles, and my addictions. What's wrong with people? Maybe I'll bring a keg of beer to an AA meeting tonight and see if anyone wants a pitcher.

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Is Erin overweight? Maybe you can get her to start going to a Soup and salad bar with you for lunch. You can influence her eating habits, but in a positive, healthy-foods way. How about if you brought a vegetable/dip tray to the office? Otherwise, I agree, avoid eating with her. That's too tempting.

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Lisa, does she have a problem with weight herself? Because sometimes I think overweight people subconsciously don't want us to succeed at weight loss. And even if she's not overweight, it would seem that consciously or unconsciously she is threatened by your weight loss. I think that you would only have to tell most people one time not to tempt you and they would respect that.

Nancy

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Erin has a very serious problem with eating. She is about 100 pounds overweight, but that's not even her biggest problem. She is in major denial. Come on, girls, she acts as if I don't know what it's like! She lies about her eating all the time. She says she eats all day because she doesn't eat at night, but then she brings in heaps of leftovers from last night's dinner (uh, I thought you don't eat dinner?) She eats like a football player, mouth wide open with food flying out talking a million miles an hour. I actually feel really rude because I can't look at her when I'm eating. Yesterday I actually stopped eating because she grossed me out. I even asked if we could sit and actually chew our food for a change without being in our usual rush. She had the nerve to tell me her family loses patience with her because she takes too long to eat - as I sit there watching food fly around! Honestly, who does she think she's fooling? I'm the Queen of Binge Blvd., Fast-Eating-Land and Obesity Planet. I know the dirtiest of food secrets. I know that you have to eat tremendous amounts of food to weigh 300 pounds. And as she's throwing down a hockey-player's lunch, she talks about what she's going to do when she gets to goal weight, as if she's dieting? Why would MY weightloss affect her? She tells everyone she can't exercise till March because that's when her karate class starts. I guess karate is the only form of exercise? I never, ever, ever, ever let my obesity or food obsession affect anyone around me. I feel like I'm trapped in a bad dream. That's how weird she's being because as I'm typing this, she's walking back and through the kitchen singing while eating Christmas Cookies (right past my office.) Weird man, really weird.

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Oh Miss Lisa... I had a similar experience with a co-worker prior to being banded... except she was a skinny little picture of perfection. I would be dieting and would come back and find Cookies... and candy and other yummy things sitting on my desk with cute little loving notes on them. She was the most minipulative person I have known in my life. She is the one person I would love to parade a skinny butt around one day... unfortunately she has since been fired. :D Whoops... how wicked of me to smile. :)

Sounds like your co-worker is veeeery insecure and doesn't want to lose her partner in crime. I think it might be a case of the user going straight and you may not be able to hang with the friends that continue to use.

Darcy

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You know the old saying " Misery loves Company"

Her being overweight she definately does not want to see you succeed! Plain and simple!!

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I had the surgery before Erin started. I told her during her first week about my surgery because she thought I was dieting since I ate small. She "acts" very supportive of my surgery. She knows that I had my port removed, and she's an intelligent girl that understands what the port is. She knows about my open wound - she knows the entire story. Yet no matter what I say, she won't shut the F$%# up about food. I don't think I ever yelled at a co-worker before till yesterday.

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She probably feels bad cause she is so big, and you are losing, so she will try anything to get you to stay her size. It seems like there is one in every crowd. She might act like it doesn't bother her, but it does.

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Unfortunately, I have a co-worker like this too. She would never admit to sabotage, but everything is about food. Where are we going to eat, we HAVE to try the Desserts. It's just a little or it's just for today, you can diet tomorrow.. The hardest part is that I know that this is MY battle, not hers. What she does really has little to do with me, except that I have no willpower, otherwise I wouldn't have needed this surgery. To be tied to these people at the hip (because we only get one car) and to have sit through these lavish dinners in high dollar restaurants and have to 'white knuckle' it through these dinners while watching them order wines and desserts is getting the best of me. :D This past week I fell right into the fantastic buffet at the casino we went to. I did good with the Entrees. Stuck right to Protein, portions were fine, but that darn dessert buffet won the battle in the end. :) I'm very disgusted with myself, once again...

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THIS IS NOT A FAIR GAME because I had surgery before she even started here! This would only be a fair war if she knew me at my highest weight! Maybe she's not a full 100 pounds overweight, but it's not her size that's the problem. It's her friggin all-day-long obsession with walking around with food. The other skinny paralegal said, "she sure is focused on food, isn't she?" And I thought she learned her lesson last month; she made a full plate of Breakfast plus a can of coke. She walked into our attorneys office trying to juggle all her food and a bunch of documents and dumped the whole plate down her shirt - RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE ATTORNEY! I would have been horrified if I did something like that in front of the file clerk, let alone the boss. I was so embarassed for her, and she turned bright red. But that didn't even stop her.

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Sounds like she has a pretty bad problem herself... :D Poor thing. I wonder how truly miserable she is in her own skin?

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    • LeighaTR

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      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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