Just feel lost

[VMS1990 30]

I had the gastric sleeve done on Nov 17th 2015. I have done quite well. Done quite well down 112 lbs. Have a support a husband that is supported and Loving family. Just not sure where Im at with my marriage. I have changes so much physically and mentally. I really thought when I made this change my husband would have continued with the changes he had made. He is back to eating large portion sizes. Not real active. I have so much energy Now. I work two jobs. One full-time and one part time weekends. Every other. My husband does work full-time as well. He does helps some around the house. At times he can seriously sit there for hours in front of the tv. He has always been like that. I'm being just picky or a bitch? Has anyone else gone or going Thur this? I do love him we have been married for 26 years and boys and two grandkids. I feel at times we are drafting apart. We have so much problems with money. I feel at times it is one sided when we deal with our bills and money. On the other hand it is very hard for to talk to him at times. Any suggestions? Thanks for listening.

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[higher 966]

I recommend counseling - both for yourself and together- if you haven't started doing that already.

[Christinamo7 4,041]

counseling could be very helpful, but also know that it is normal in long term relationships to go through times where you don't seem to fit together anymore and then times when it all clicks.

as for his portions or his sitting there - you have to let him be him and you be you. it doesn't mean that you can't be a couple anymore. it doesn't mean that you won't positively influence each other either. My husband likes to sit and play a game for recreation. I want to get out and do things. when I really desire his company he joins me on my adventures, but most of the time he just kisses me and sends me on my way. If you are having money problems perhaps he is also dealing with depression. How many of us can relate to turning to food and being sedentary when depressed?

If you are a person of faith I recommend the book 'Sacred Marriage' - very helpful.

[Pescador 1,374]

I will say this. I had a very bad marriage for 20 years, mainly because he lived his life as he wanted. There is a trade off. When I divorced him I changed the life of my children and grandchildren forever. Christmas, Birthdays, you name it. I am lucky in that my ex and I remained friends, and he and his wife, me and my husband just spent a week with our daughter, grandson, and her ex husband in one house on the ocean. There still were years our children had to pick and choose. If your marriage is really bad you won't care. But you owe it to your children to try counseling. Best of luck!!!!!