Did you tell people?

[potahto 26]

Right now, my biggest worry is explaining away my very little appetite. I only told my hubby and MIL because she loves feeding me and might worry if i'm not eating! I come from a culture where eating is a hobby and if you're offered food, you must accept or its rude. Same with parties and events, you MUST eat.

I'm going home next month for a family party and I'm worried my Mom will try to feed me and get annoyed if I refuse food. Telling her is not an option, I decided pre-surgery that I don't want people, especially her to know.

Has anyone faced this problem? What did you do?

[JenniferP1 75]

Am 10 months out and only my live-in BF knows. It's entirely your own personal business. I say lots of diff things when asked why I eat so little -- had a big lunch, working with a nutritionist on my diet plan, not feeling great today, etc. Surprisingly, most people (aside from waitstaff) seem not to notice or care too much. And now that I'm down 109 lbs, certainly no one is complaining!

[KristenLe 5,979]

@@potahto Can you tell her that you are on a medically supervised diet? I'm assuming she'll notice you are losing weight so you'll probably have to explain that anyway.

[KaiserKid 81]

I am currently struggling with this too. Check out my thread "who did you tell?" for more answers!

Right now I've told my husband, best friend, and my boss. And I told my boss at this moment only because I have a butt load of appointments I'll need to schedule around work. She's totally on board.

I'm going to take it as it comes. I will probably tell the rest of my family (select members) closer to the surgery date as things become more finalized. Other people I have no intention of telling. It will definitely be awkward because even though I've lost weight in the past, it will be nowhere near the amount that WLS will help provide. I've always been the "fat friend" so I think some people will certainly suspect I've had surgery, or am otherwise very sick lol.

[Pescador 1,374]

The less people you tell the less drama you have in your life. Thank God my husband made me promise not to tell as he is very private. All you need to say is I am eating healthy, and move around between people and even dump the food in the trash. Since we lost weight, we share a plate, and no one even questions that we are eating healthy to maintain our weight loss. Be strong, this is about you!!

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,899]

Not to sound crude, especially during lunchtime (although that never stopped me before); if the medically supervised diet suggestion that was made doesn't work, perhaps tell them "I am not eating (or not eating that much) because my stomach is bothering me a little". If they are still persistent, tell them "I have explosive diarrhea", that will stop all questioning on why you aren't eating dead in its tracks.

[IveGotThePower 395]

I didn't tell anyone until right before surgery. And now that I'm 5 months out, I tell everyone. I still get those off the wall ignorant comments, but they don't bother me. There is no shortage of ignorance in the world. I did a lot of research and am comfortable with my decision. I guess the reason I share now is because it feels like there is this incredible tool available to people who have struggled like me for so long. And maybe my experience will help someone else.

[potahto 26]

Thank you for all your replies! I especially like the explosive diarrhea one haha!

I'm just worried people will think I'm on drugs (also common in my country) or that I have an eating disorder.

It's complicated. They make fun of you for being fat and make fun of you for being on a diet lol

Sent from my SM-N920I using the BariatricPal App

[Pescador 1,374]

Relax and disregard what people THINK.

[IveGotThePower 395]

You are right. They make fun of us or think things that aren't true no matter what we do. You can't control other people. I agree with Loopylulu. Disregard what people think. It's one less thing to worry about. You should not be sorry for waking up every day and doing the best you can do to be the best you can be

[potahto 26]

Thank you for your kind words

[LipstickLady 25,682]

People are a lot less aware of what you eat than you think. Most people are far to self absorbed to care. Your mom might be an issue, but do you think you could give her a quick call before a visit and simply say. "Hey! I've been working with a doctor on my diet and am following a plan. I knew you'd be concerned if I didn't eat so I wanted to give you a head's up."

Simple and not a surprise.

[higher 966]

I didn't tell anyone I had the surgery. Almost 10 weeks out. I've said this in a dozen of these threads but I eat socially all the time and NO ONE has commented on how little I'm eating. Not my family, not my coworkers, not my friends, not guys I'm dating. People pay way less attention than you think. I'm losing weight fast so some of them (like my family) think I am finally succeeding on a diet and they are too overjoyed to see me lose to chastise me for eating so little. That's my theory!

[TheRev 235]

The only people that know about my surgery are people that are affected by it - my boss and immediate family. Anyone else? Eh... they can figure it out or ask me directly. I'm not advertising it because A) I don't want the attention, I don't need the judgment as I get myself ready, and C) Eff 'em... it's not their business!

[potahto 26]

I had my first issue today haha. Went to visit a friend I've known for years but hardly see.

She set out some food that her Mom made, along with some Snacks. I felt it would be rude not to eat at least a bit, but it was 2 things I haven't eaten since getting sleeved - beef and spicy stuff. I told her I was watching my weight but she kinda waved it off so I accepted half a serving of the kabob. I was eating slow and she asked if I didn't like it! It was so embarrassing.

Then she offered me a Krispy Kreme doughnut, another thing I haven't eaten since getting sleeved, got away with a quarter of it and thank goodness I didn't feel sick while I was there!