I've been stewing over this since June and I need some advice. In June, I had my yearly physical with my PCP. He was going over my numbers and decided to finally be honest to me about my weight and where I will be in 10 years if something isn't done. Okay. That's cool. He then proceeds to tell me, "I should have had this conversation with you years ago, but I didn't because I just don't ca-" he pauses and tries to restructure is sentence but goes off on an entirely different tangent instead. Honestly, I didn't hear a word of what he said after the pause because all I was thinking is that my doctor doesn't care about my health - the very thing I pay him to care about!

Now, I feel as if I'm in a sticky situation because he approved me for WLS and I am waiting for clearance from my cardiologist (I have to take a stress test first). I've been hearing from many forums that you shouldn't change doctors when you are going through surgery. Considering my situation, my instinct is to ditch him and find a new PCP shortly after my surgery.

What is your opinion on my situation?

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I would not be afraid to change as long as you have your pre op physical done. Otherwise it could delay you.

If you have not, then I would suggest very quickly after surgery getting a new PCP, in fact, I would share your story with your Bariatric team and ask for a recommendation on a PCP that supports WLS.

Even though you don't know for sure what he was going to say, you know he should have talked to you long before now. I had the same situation with my old PCP. In fact she let me go 3 years before saying anything about my rapidly deteriorating kidneys. When she finally did, the damage was done and I had no idea it was even a problem. She recommended I see a nephrologist and he is the one who showed me all the results and how long it was going on for. He is also the one who suggested WLS to stop the disease in its tracks.

I never trusted her again and actually called her out on it as well as asking why my nephrologist was the one who had to recommend WLS. She admitted she was not good at having those conversations because she herself is obese.

Of course I thought "what the heck, then don't be a PCP" - I immediately went on the hunt for a new PCP. Now I have a great one.

Change as soon as you can.

I think I would have gone on the hunt for a lawyer, too!

Every one makes good points but I wanted to add that I've been a nurse case manager for many years. Pretty much everyone I manage is medical high risk and if I were being perfectly honest over all compliance with treatment is low.

I do care about the people in my care, they aren't just cases to me. But I pick my battles and the thought, "I don't care to engage you about (your weight, drinking, smoking, std, diabetes) because you have more pressing issues and I am not up for dealing with it right now" crosses my mind more than I'd like.

Maybe he was going to say "I don't care how you do it but you are going to die if you don't do something!!"