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Making Excuses

LowBMISleever

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LowBMISleever    381

LowBMISleever
Posted

I feel really guilty. A nice guy asked me out on a dinner date for tomorrow, and I made up a rather elaborate story about how I can't eat because I had surgery for polyps in my stomach and was on a liquid diet because the surgeon had to remove a portion of my stomach (I know, what was I thinking!!). He quipped that it sounds like I had gastric bypass. I laughed it off and said I didn't... Which isn't exactly a lie because I was sleeved . (I must have turned 18 shades of red when he said that.)

Anyone out there have experience with this?? It's just a first date, it might lead to nothing. But let's say I end up with this guy, or some other guy, and I start out with a lie like this. Do I never reveal my secret? Does it make me seem like I'm dishonest or will he eventually understand if I choose to reveal it down the road?

I'm normally such an open book, but I think this is SO embarrassing to tell someone you're dating. It's complicated further with the fact that all my friends and family know, so it could eventually come out accidentally in conversation.

What would you do?

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Christinamo7    4,042

Christinamo7
Posted

what would I do? well....... I am just up front with everyone about it. but that's me.

you can just say "no thank you" to anyone who asks you out to dinner. you know - without any explanation at all? or suggest an alternative date that does not involve food for now.

in a few weeks you will be able to go to just about any kind of place to eat and find something small on the menu that is acceptable, just be prepared to take food home and be prepared to answer a question about your amounts (I just can't seem to eat a whole lot at a time, but the food was great, and I am looking forward to having the rest another time)

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Qwalla    132

Qwalla
Posted

I guess I would just be truthful. If it does work out I personally would want to start out truthful. If he choses not to like you because of it...then he probably isn't a good fit. That is just my opinion. I am a stickler for truth versus lies. It is deal breaker for me. If you see him again...I personally would explain to him he caught you off guard and then tell him the truth. We all handle things in our own way...and that is just my humble opinion. You have to do what you feel best. After all it is your life. Best of luck..and I hope things work out for you whatever happens. Best wishes in your journey!!!

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LowBMISleever    381

LowBMISleever
Posted

Ughh I guess I'll be eating crow. How embarrassing.

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Qwalla    132

Qwalla
Posted

No not at all. He must be interested cause he asked you out. Don't worry about it..you are human and sometimes we nake decisions that might not be the best when we are caught off guard. If he is a nice guy I am sure he will understand. If not...move on. You seem like a sweet lady and I am sure great things will come your way.

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ForLfKlovr    45

ForLfKlovr
Posted

I personally would just wait a bit to see where the relationship goes...and then if things do become more serious you can always share when you feel more comfortable. GL! :)

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LowBMISleever    381

LowBMISleever
Posted (edited)

I think that's a good idea. I've been so emotional since this surgery. I hope I don't cry if I decide to fess up. I think I should've just said no. I know I'm not physically ready for a dinner date, but I might not be emotionally ready to dare yet either. This is quite the tricky journey!

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Edited by LowBMISleever

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higher    966

higher
Posted

Can you suggest a date that doesn't involve sitting down to eat? Like an activity? More fun anyway.

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higher    966

higher
Posted

I'm all for not telling at the early stage of a relationship. Just my personal opinion. I went on a date to a baseball game last week and it was so easy. No talk of food.

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Qwalla    132

Qwalla
Posted

Movies...minature golf...bowling walk in the park...hope that helps. Not sure where you live or what is going on there. Lol

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Pescador    1,374

Pescador
Posted

Such a personal thing to share immediately. Go to dinner, eat lightly, such as Soup. This guy may bore you to death. If not, have fun!

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volfan    78

volfan
Posted

I think you owe it to yourself to come clean, I think you think he is a nice guy, so just say, "you know what, I did have a WLS, it is something personal, and well, other than close friends I guess I really haven't thought about discussing it. A lot of people have negative opinions, or just need to share their opinions. You caught me off guard, and I am a little embarrassed by my reaction and actions. No I can't really enjoy a dinner out yet, but a movie would be wonderful, if you would still like too.

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Go To Topic Listing Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums

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    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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