ADVICE PLEASE HELP!

[B1essed1 61]

From one food addict to another...

You already know what's on your current road. Most likely it's a road that leads to misery and an unhealthy way of life. Take the road less traveled. Fear of the unknown just stops you from experiencing life to the fullest.

[ALittleMe0914 69]

@Heidijenn HI! I can relate to the way that you are feeling here. I first started looking into WLS about 3 years ago, and I completed all of the necessary pre-op appointments. During the time that I was going to the appointments, I started to get really cold feet. I mean, they were freezing, I was so unsure of it - ALL because I couldn't grasp the idea of having to give up my favorite foods, not drink soda, not drink while eating etc. Eventually, I backed out of the process and said I was going to "do it on my own". But if I am being honest with you, making that decision, was just me losing sight of what is actually important.

Here I am, 3 years later, 45 lbs heavier, and scheduled to get Sleeved on 09/14. I CANT stress to you enough, how much I WISH EVERYDAY, that I had just had the will power and the common sense to go through with this 3 years ago. I can't help but keep wondering where I would be today.

So - with all of that said. I think you need to decide what is more important, you and your health, or what's inside the pizza box.

What I did to make myself feel better, was sit down and write myself a letter. It was my pre-op self, talking to my post-op self, reminding me why I chose the surgery. Why I chose my health over food. I told myself all of the things that I can't do that I want to because of my weight. I will open it again and read it when I am post op and freaking out. Maybe that will help you.

Best of luck no matter what you choose!

xx

[krazy kat 107]

You can find therapist that deal w eating disorders...check w mental health facilities in your area to see if they can recommend some. What's more important your health or pizza? There are healthy alternatives to the foods you love and when you get to that point in your journey.

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[Heidijenn 15]

Thank you so much every one, you have given me a lot to think about, and you have some really good points, Thank you so much again!!! I think I will continue the process, I just don't want to feel like this anymore and I hate taking so much medicine. I am only 50 years old, no spring chicken but I take tooooo much medicine!!! So here we go!!!

[TracyBar 132]

@@Heidijenn I read your post an hour ago and have been trying to come up with something to say that doesn't sound mean or harsh, because I don't feel angry, just kind of sad. I'm no expert on WLS, and I'm only in my 6th post-op week, but I could never have done this if I didn't have a positive attitude about the procedure and the outcome.

In the endless classes and support group meetings my pathway required, I met so many people who could only focus on the food they wouldn't be able to eat. It blew my mind and continues to do so...we're all candidates for this surgery because we liked food more than we liked ourselves. It's hard to be completely honest with yourself, but I sat myself down and said "you are failing at life right now, sweetie, and someone is offering you a lifeline...are you going to refuse to grab that rope because eating 20 chicken wings at a sitting is more important that living a healthy, normal life?".

And THAT is the bottom line. Do chicken wings mean more than your well-being? If the answer is yes, then walk away and go to Buffalo Wild Wings and chow down. But think about this: are there people in your world who you care about? Your partner, your siblings, your children, whoever it is that are a meaningful part of your world...can you stand in front of THEM and say "I love chicken wings more than I love you"? My weight and my inability to fully participate in my family's life has already altered the lives of my husband and children, so when I was offered this opportunity, I DID put on my big girl panties, stopped loving chicken wings more than life, and I had the damned surgery.

My surgeon offered me AND my entire family a gift, but I was the only one who could accept it on behalf of all of us. So I decided that my family, my friends, my future grandchildren and I are more important that 20 chicken wings at a sitting. What are you going to choose?

I wish you much peace and hope you're able to come to a point where the idea of WLS isn't terrifying, but is empowering instead. Please stay around and let us know how this all goes for you.

So well said. I'm in the research stage and reading all I can - from as many viewpoints as possible. I go back and forth in my resolve to have the surgery. And although there are foods I would miss, I am thinking about my health more than anything. I've had a lot of years of eating poorly. I think I've done enough of that. With each pound I gained, my usual super out-going self became quieter, sadder and a bit on the reclusive side. I have most definitely put my family aside and I haven't participated in life with them as much as I want to. My youngest is 11 years old today, and I feel that I have just been so tired, so stressed, so unhappy, that I can't seem to give her the time and effort that I really want to. She is losing out on me and I on her and she is one of the biggest reasons, if not the biggest, that I want this surgery. I don't want to miss another minute of enjoying her - she's growing up so fast. I'm choosing happiness - and with each day that I read some posts on here, my resolve to do what it takes to get and stay healthy is stronger - thanks - I think your post made a big impact on me and the wavering I've experienced.

[TracyBar 132]

Your concerns are very common and ones that many of us can relate to. I questioned my ability to achieve long-term success after being sleeved and still do on occasion.

However, things change after the surgery. My cravings for junk food somehow disappeared and were replaced with cravings for healthy food. I still don't get it but love it nonetheless.

Hi - hope I crave good foods too! Question: you had internal bleeding shortly after surgery? What happened?

[Djmohr 6,965]

@@Heidijenn

You have heard this from almost everyone, at the end of the day you need to be absolutely ready to make changes in your life to get healthy.

You are so focused on what you will be giving up that you are thinking about what you will be getting.

I remember feeling the exact same way and I kept putting it off for years and years. I kept trying to lose it on my own only to gain it back and then some.

Pretty soon 250lbs turned to 260 and then jumped to 290 and then all the way to 315. I was so sick by the time I was ready that it made the wait that much harder and more emotional. My Nephrologist (kidney specialist) told me that I was looking at dialysis and possibly a kidney transplant if I did not do something about my weight. Stage 3 chronic kidney disease from obesity! I finally made up my mind that nothing and I mean nothing was going to get in my way. I was going to get healthy for both me and my family who I know loves me dearly.

That being said. Stop worrying about not ever being able to eat lobster and pizza and popcorn. You will be able to eat lobster, steak, chicken, vegetables and fruits and the funny thing is, you will actually look forward to those foods. Additionally I have had popcorn and pizza. You will find if you do this right that all the junk that you once craved won't be so important. You won't be as hungry and just a few bites will fill you.

You learn to eat to live instead of live to eat.

I love food. I savor everything i eat. I have found this whole new world where good clean food is delicious and satiating. But you gotta get all that noise out of your head and decide if you are ready.

My personal opinion is until you can do that you are not ready.

My advice is not to wait too long. I waiting about 15 years too long and did real damage to my body. Now I am the healthiest I have been in many many years. even with my damaged joints I have more energy and feel younger than I have in 15 years.

Life is grand on the other side of WLS for me, but there is no doubt I was 110% ready to make the changes necessary for me to lose my weight and I am now maintaining at 158lbs. In went from a size 26 to a size 8! I have not been that small since before I got married and had children. I was a teenage Mom and a military wife so I was younger than 19 last time I looked and felt this good.

Oh and I had homemade beef enchiladas tonight! Granted I could only eat a half of a portion but it was delicious and healthy.

Try to breathe deep and better understand what you want for your future.

Again it took a near death sentence for me to get it. My hope for you is you figure it out much sooner.

Please feel free to direct message if you would like to talk further.

[Andrew0929 1,102]

Your concerns are very common and ones that many of us can relate to. I questioned my ability to achieve long-term success after being sleeved and still do on occasion.

However, things change after the surgery. My cravings for junk food somehow disappeared and were replaced with cravings for healthy food. I still don't get it but love it nonetheless .

Hi - hope I crave good foods too! Question: you had internal bleeding shortly after surgery? What happened?

I didn't follow my instructions after coming home. I was feeling really good and didn't seek help getting on and off sofa and recliner. Had internal bleeding and second surgery to investigate/stop bleeding. When he went back in discovered bleeding had already stopped.

Not a good experience and my blood pressure was dangerously low during my ambulance trip through a blizzard .

I regretted having the surgery for about 1 month afterward, but when the weight started falling off and I started to feel really energetic, my feelings changed.

Now, if faced with the decision again I'd choose to have the surgery even if I knew about the bleeding and second surgery ahead of time.

[TracyBar 132]

Your concerns are very common and ones that many of us can relate to. I questioned my ability to achieve long-term success after being sleeved and still do on occasion.

However, things change after the surgery. My cravings for junk food somehow disappeared and were replaced with cravings for healthy food. I still don't get it but love it nonetheless .

Hi - hope I crave good foods too! Question: you had internal bleeding shortly after surgery? What happened?

I didn't follow my instructions after coming home. I was feeling really good and didn't seek help getting on and off sofa and recliner. Had internal bleeding and second surgery to investigate/stop bleeding. When he went back in discovered bleeding had already stopped.

Not a good experience and my blood pressure was dangerously low during my ambulance trip through a blizzard .

I regretted having the surgery for about 1 month afterward, but when the weight started falling off and I started to feel really energetic, my feelings changed.

Now, if faced with the decision again I'd choose to have the surgery even if I knew about the bleeding and second surgery ahead of time.

So the lesson here is - heed your Doctor :-) I've read a lot about having regrets in the few weeks after surgery. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I gather this is a combination of factors - for women, hormone dump (excuse my ignorance but do men experience anything like that?), the post-op liquid diet, and since no weight loss is apparent right after surgery, the feeling that you did the wrong thing. I must say that I'm glad I've been spending the time to learn as much as possible - although I'm certain there's a lot more to learn. At first the idea of WLS horrified me - I honestly thought it was reserved for really morbidly obese people like we see on t.v. shows. But as I started to learn more, and read how much it has positively changed so many lives, I started to see it as a possible saviour for me. And about adherence to doctor's orders post-op, I was planning on being home alone for a couple of weeks afterward, so it sounds like I may need somebody there to help for a few days...

[justhere4theshow 462]

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/373877-what-i-wish-i-had-known/

This might help, or it may not...just some things I learned along the way.

[Hannah83 214]

I have pizza all the time. It's just not pizza from a restaurant. I do a "skillet" version, using a cast Iron skillet, a carb master tortilla, organic/low carb marinara sauce, turkey pepperoni, with pizza cheese and veggies. They are about the size of a personal pan pizza, have a thin crispy crust and are lovely when you finish them up in the oven under a broiler so the cheese gets all bubbly and gets those little bits of brown. I can eat half at a meal and it's under 300 calories and low carb to boot, with some decent Protein.

You can have all the things you used to love eventually. Just better (healthy) versions, or in smaller quantities/much less often. And the big thing to realize - you may not even want most of the really bad for you foods once you relearn how to eat healthy foods, and feel and look better overall.

food issues that lead to obesity usually aren't just because a person is hungry; overeating or eating crap foods to the point of serious weight gain. Most of us have other reasons to medicate with food - low self esteem, fear, depression, using food as a reward/comfort/distraction.

You're focusing on food obsession and fears and worrying over changing something that has been a huge part of your life, but likely has caused you more grief than happiness. No matter what, change is hard and can be scary. But if you are a candidate for WLS, then you either have serious health issues exacerbated by the weight, or high enough weight alone where the doctor feels that this is the best path for you to regain your health and give you a fighting chance to relearn how to eat properly - it will give you the time to regain control so you can start over with your relationship with food.

.

Here here! This is such a well thought out uplifting and honest post. Thank you frankies gal honestly I've gained a lot of insight from reading your responses.

[Alex Brecher 10,516]

@@Heidijenn,

It’s good to express your fears, even if you’ve gone over them a million times!

What exactly are you worried about when you think about giving up those foods? Are you worried about losing those sources of pleasure? It can happen to WLS that they lose interest in food, but if that happens to you, you can find other things in your life to give you pleasure.

Are you worried that you won’t be enjoy the taste of healthy foods? Chances are good that you’ll learn to love a bunch of nutritious foods that maybe aren’t so appetizing to you now. You may be genuinely happy, for example, to have a meal with salmon and carrots – maybe that will give you as much pleasure as pizza does now.

Also, keep in mind that many WLS patients are eventually able to incorporate almost everything – pizza included – into their long-term diets. The key is Portion Control. So, while you will definitely have to give up lobster and popcorn short-term, you may be able to get them back eventually – or replace them with new food finds that you love even more.

Good luck with your decision! You’re definitely struggling with something important, and it’s good to think carefully about it instead of dismissing it.

[Ellapearl 26]

Gina171 that is a brilliant post! Thank you for your positive reminders that we all need????

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