In a bad depression slump...

[OKCPirate 5,323]

Thank you for the update. You have been on my mind. It will be good. I had to hold on for a while until the Wellbutrin kicked in. Not pretty but it was worth it. Reach out if you need to

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

One thing I always visualize about food and the pleasures it brings... it's like that bad boyfriend. You know, makes you feel good for a short time but then ruins your life and makes you miserable over the long run. Breaking up is painful, but eventually the grief of that loss will fade and there will be room in your life for lots of other joys and pleasures besides food!

Hang in there.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

One thing I always visualize about food and the pleasures it brings... it's like that bad boyfriend. You know, makes you feel good for a short time but then ruins your life and makes you miserable over the long run. Breaking up is painful, but eventually the grief of that loss will fade and there will be room in your life for lots of other joys and pleasures besides food!

Hang in there.

"Bad Boyfriend" That is a GREAT analogy.

[Ale Nunez 80]

So I had weight loss surgery on September 2nd of last year and have lost, like, 53 pounds and I should have lost 80 by now and I have been more anxious and depressed since my surgery.

So I'm having a depression slump and I am looking at old pictures of me and crying because I really miss being able to eat to cope with my depression. Right now, even though I know its not true, I feel like I am utterly alone.

I know I have family and friends in other states but I feel alone, I feel like no one loves me or cares about me, I feel like I can't get better mentally and its an awful feeling because I am not sure how to cope anymore, I don't know what to do to cope.

I cannot over eat so I don't try to and writing and reading and crocheting doesn't help, makeup isn't even helping despite me doing a bunch of it. This is one thing most gastric bypass surgery patients go through, they're somewhat depressed because they can't eat like they used to and food is no longer fun.

Its not fun to go out and eat, its not fun to go to family gatherings and eat, its not fun to go on trips and eat. Eating in general is no longer enjoyable for me. I mean, yeah, food like my kale and fruit smoothie is enjoyable but things like cake, chicken, beef, hot dogs, Chinese food, etc (which I don't even eat anymore) isn't fun...

this surgery took away the joy in eating and I am happy I had the surgery but at the same time I miss being able to look forward to going out to eat, not looking forward to waiting 30 minutes before drinking or playing guess which foods your stomach can't tolerate today.

I'm sorry for this but my depression has gotten worse since the surgery so its a win lose for me but at least I'm getting healthy, I guess. I just feel like I cannot cope at points and I want to revert back to self harm, which I haven't done since 2013.

Sent from my SM-G360T1 using the BariatricPal App

I can only imagine what you're going through. Food is also a big part of my life, however, I started going to Yoga, Reiki and Meditation sessions and I have been feeling so much better. My mood is much better too and I have more patience at home and work.

You're not alone. Message me if you ever feel like talking to somebody.

God bless ya!

[Anna Nim 196]

One easy book to look at after you have had blood work (although, of note, magnesium isn't usually tested nor shows as deficient until VERY low) is The Magnesium Miracle (I got my coy off of Amazon for like $10.). I was already taking it cause my Dad is a body worker and healthy as a horse at 72, and takes it.

Good luck.

[Cologirl 2]

@@venomousflowers, I can totally relate to a lot of what you are feeling. Although I am only a month out from surgery, I too feel I am losing more slowly than I should, which frustrates the he** out of me, I am just trying to follow the plan as best I can, and forgive myself for not being perfect.

I also live alone, without relatives, family or my closest friends nearby. I moved from Colorado to Washington DC, and I understand how lonely and isolating that can be. However it does get better, I don't know how long you have been in Fla, but it took me about a year or year and a half to feel at home, so to speak. Even so, I still struggle with it. Sometimes it all I can do to get out of my PJs.

I noticed you listed some hobbies, I went to Meetup.com and found groups interested in the same hobbies I have. I go to a knitting group, a Bridge group and a book club. It took some trial and error, but I have met several good people in these groups, and it gets me out so I don't feel so isolated.

I also use FaceTime or Skype to stay in touch with my support network, my close friends and family that are all over the country. It makes me feel more connected with them than a phone call.

Reading through the replies, I think finding a therapist that specializes in bariatric folks is a great idea, and I plan to talk to my surgeon about it as well.

I am also familiar with the Beck Diet Solution book mentioned, though I hadn't thought about it in years. It is a book you read as you go through your journey, not read first then start. It does help, because it isn't just about what you eat and how much excercise you get, but more about your thinking and behaviors that center around food. In fact, I think I will pull it off my bookshelf today, and commit to it this time. (Yep, the first time I started to read it was yet another time I didn't really commit...sigh, bygones!)

Hang in there, everyone here is cheering for you, and if you are ever coming to DC ping me!

[Alex Brecher 10,516]

@@venomousflowers,

I am sorry things are looking so bleak right now.

First, there is no “should have.” You lost 53 pounds. Celebrate that and move on! It doesn’t matter if someone else loses 300 pounds in that time. They’re not you.

As for the depression, if you are truly depressed, you need help. Start with your PCP if you don’t already have some providers to treat you for depression. If you previously resorted to self-harm, you know the warning signs for yourself, and need to act!

I am sorry about food not being pleasurable anymore. It is really hard when something so pleasurable (even if unhealthy and physically dangerous before WLS) is no longer enjoyable. It sounds like you have the right approach – you’re trying many different activities to try to find something else to replace food. Can you identify what role food used to play in your life? Do you know why you can’t just enjoy your kale and fruit smoothie while you enjoy the company of friends and family, even if you’re not eating cake and Chinese food?

Good luck. Keep checking in and getting the support you can from here.

[venomousflowers 56]

Thank you everyone. I've been gone for awhile because I got busy again but I got my blood test back and my hemoglobin was low (10.6) and my fasting blood sugar was 106. ????

I still am having the strange sensations of pressure coming down from my head and being dizzy when I stand up.

At first, it was just after eating food but now it's after I take my medicine and after I eat food.< /p>

My PCP still isn't doing anything and my surgeon hasn't called back yet to schedule any test.

I see my APRN tomorrow afternoon and I am going to talk to her about the medication and how it's affecting me.

I've been on zoloft, wellbutrin, and risperidone since 2011, its not working and it's time for a change.

I also took my medical symptoms into my own hands and did some research on it. It seems I really do have reactive hypoglycemia or POTS.

Also, my surgeon isn't doing anything about my bleeding because its bright red blood...its not in his "medical jurisdiction". ????

It was dark red one time but that wasn't enough to worry him? I just can't figure out why no one is helping me down here other than the fact I have medicaid and they treat us badly.