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Let the rant begin...



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I'm going to reiterate what others have said. Once you are maintaining for a while, no one will say anything to you. I've been at a steady weight for probably close to two years now and I also think that no one really thinks of me as the former heavier person I was pre WLS. They've seen me this size for a long enough time that they've gotten used to it.

I'm definitely looking forward to that!

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I got this one once...said to my husband "Wow your wife is hot now...better keep your eye on her." I'm like really? I'm hot NOW? I was hot before...a*****e. AND I'm standing right here! I'm serious that crap just spews out of people's mouths at times. All in all, comments I've received were positive and I believe well meant....some of it just comes out as verbal dribble.

Here's the all-time rudest comment about someone else's weight loss:

"I bet your husband / wife / significant other is so happy that you've lost weight!"

Both critical of your previous weight and misogynistic. That's a winner.

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More recently I have the question asked: "How much more weight do you want to loose?"

I have answered like this (sometimes, depending on who's asking) I look them up and down and say "I don't know how much do you weigh?"

I love the answer "one hundred and sexy" to the question "how much do you weigh now?" question!!

People suck. And the worse thing is, they don't even realize it.

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I wish more people would comment on my weight loss! Aside from two close friends, not one person has said a word aside from the usual hi and/or small talk. Maybe they are afraid to say something or think it would be rude, but I want to know my hard work is being noticed!! My clothes fit differently for sure and I've dropped a few sizes but still when I look in the mirror, I don't think I'm seeing the full picture. I still look plenty fat and my face looks no different in the bathroom mirror. (tho i do see the difference in photos) A couple of close friends have said 1. "wow you lost a lot of weight!" and 2. "your weight loss is startling". These comments make me feel good and motivate me to keep going! I'm not in denial, I know I didn't look good before, I know I look better now. If someone tell me "you look much better than you did a few months ago!" I'm going to say THANKS!!! And probably do a pirouette. And then get a glass of Water.

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I get similar comments all the time. In my experience they haven't been rude, they just want there to be a magic pill. I admit, I have lost 162 pounds in a year, and that is extreme. So, people have questions. I don't keep my surgery a secret but I am quick to give them a run down of my exercise and eating habits. I work for this body and I will have to work to KEEP this body.

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Add my name to the list of those that are ready to get to maintenance and stop answering questions.

That being said, there is no winning for people when dealing with individuals who are losing a lot of weight. You can see it right in this thread. Some people are offended when people comment or ask questions. Some people are offended when no one says anything. It's sort of a damned if you do, damned if you don't scenario.

I will say, I believe everyone who has commented on my weight loss, or asked questions has seemed genuinely supportive and curious. I've also had a number of people seek me out to get more information on how I'm eating as they are trying to lose weight themselves.

There was one comment that I found interesting. Someone asked me how much I had lost, and when I told them it was about 85 lbs they said "Wow, really? Where the heck did you put all that weight". I certainly wasn't offended as I'm sure it was intended as a compliment (as in, it's hard to believe you lost THAT much because you don't look like you were carrying around an extra 85 lb!), but it reinforced my own perception that although the scale number is big, I don't feel like I look like I've lost that much. But ultimately, that's about me, not them. And let's be honest, if they said "no way, you have to have lost WAY more than that!" it could have been construed as offensive as well.

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I was told when asked how much weight have you lost?

Just say A LOT and that is ALL I have to say about that!!. And smile.

good luck on your journey ♡

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using the BariatricPal App

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Yup. I got that one repeatedly. My answer was alwaya. "He loves for more than the number on the scale! I guess some of us are just lucky like that."

My favorite was a cashier who, as she was checking me out said, "WOW!! You look really HOT!! Did you get a divorce or something?" I was dressed for our 20th anniversary date.

My other favorite immediately post op was another cashier, same market, who looked at the teeny scoop of seafood salad on my plate next to the teeny scoop of applesauce (I had just hit the soft food stage so my portions were MAYBE a tablespoon or two each) and said, "Girl! You aren't fooling anyone! Clearly you eat more than that!!!!" Yes, I was still really fat.

I almost punched her in the face.

Prior to my "don't make raenh mad pills" - I probably would have. You have a lot more self control :D

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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