I'm pre-op, scheduled for surgery on 5/16, starting 2 week liquid diet tomorrow - Monday. I'm excited!

I'm a very private person and due to the people and culture around me, especially at work, I'm not telling that I'm having sleeve surgery. Or at least, I don't want to tell them. I'm going to have to say something about being out on leave for some time, but I don't want the judgement, critiques, comments, attention.

If you are private about your surgery...

What do you tell your supervisor and co-workers? Do you just take your vacation time and stay quiet?

How do you manage doing your liquids-only diet for 2 weeks, avoiding eating lunch out, etc? Do you just make excuses? If so, what?

When you get back after a week or two (or longer) - what's your story?

Have you been able to successfully keep your privacy about your surgery?

Thanks!

I'm very private. I don't want people to know. My mom and my kids know. My mom keeps telling people, and that has upset me very much.

Fortunately, we live far enough apart that nobody I see daily is in her circle.

I've already been losing weight ahead of surgery because my thyroid is finally being treated. Since I work in healthcare and run volunteer rescue squad, I'm telling them it's hernia repair. As an EMT, I'll have a lift restriction for a good bit. Hernia repair will cover that. I don't like to lie, but I will to protect my privacy.

I don't want to tell my business. I see people on TV and online judging us for having surgery, like it's cheating. Whatever. Not all of us are able to keep weight off like other people can.

I think it's my business and nobody else needs to know. My continued weight loss will just be more weight loss and if anyone questions dietary changes, it's just a new thing I'm trying to get healthier.

I'm moving more, eating less (technically very true). And THAT is all anyone else needs to know. I only share with true seekers who are trying to change their life for the better.

You guys rock! Love your replies.

Update: I'd already mentioned it, but just to clarify, I AM having hiatal hernia repair with my surgery. The liquid diet and recovery time happens to be the same even if you're having only hernia repair, so it all fits in.

Yesterday, I told the woman in my department who works right next to me. She already knows well my ongoing stomach issues, severe GERD, etc. She is not questioning further and I know that she understands about that part. Next, I emailed my boss, explained the same thing about hernia, told him how long I expected to be out.

Today, I went to the HR person who does the FMLA paperwork. I learned that they will "approve" my leave, which irritates me because I'm using my own earned personal PTO time. But, in order to secure that I have a job to come back to after leave, I HAVE to go through the FMLA process. Also, they are going to want documentation from the surgeon. I realize now that there is some risk of them learning some private details through this process, even though legally (HIPPA) they are not supposed to know my medical details unless I volunteer it. However, this group is known to be nosy & gossipy. And, I have to work on the same floor where they all are. I'm sure that the doctor's office will be subtle about stating what I'm having done (probably will just say "abdominal surgery"). I called there the other day and they assured me they won't write "bariatric" or the full name of their office on the form. However, my surgeon just does bariatric surgery only. A simple google search will show them exactly what my doctor does, if they look it up.

However, I'm trying to just let it roll off and not worry. Once I'm approved by my employer to take my leave, I'll breathe easier.

My surgeon will likely remove my gall bladder at the same time, so my story is gall bladder surgery. I've always been private about my weight loss attempts in the past, so I've only told a handful of people I trust. So far, everyone I have told has been very supportive.

Maggie, you have to use your own holiday for that? Hell, no. Can't you just call off sick. With regards telling them that you are having a different op, I wouldn't go that way. Bariatric surgery is not an aesthetic op. Is to get ourself better. Good luck.

You guys rock! Love your replies.

Update: I'd already mentioned it, but just to clarify, I AM having hiatal hernia repair with my surgery. The liquid diet and recovery time happens to be the same even if you're having only hernia repair, so it all fits in.

Yesterday, I told the woman in my department who works right next to me. She already knows well my ongoing stomach issues, severe GERD, etc. She is not questioning further and I know that she understands about that part. Next, I emailed my boss, explained the same thing about hernia, told him how long I expected to be out.

Today, I went to the HR person who does the FMLA paperwork. I learned that they will "approve" my leave, which irritates me because I'm using my own earned personal PTO time. But, in order to secure that I have a job to come back to after leave, I HAVE to go through the FMLA process. Also, they are going to want documentation from the surgeon. I realize now that there is some risk of them learning some private details through this process, even though legally (HIPPA) they are not supposed to know my medical details unless I volunteer it. However, this group is known to be nosy & gossipy. And, I have to work on the same floor where they all are. I'm sure that the doctor's office will be subtle about stating what I'm having done (probably will just say "abdominal surgery"). I called there the other day and they assured me they won't write "bariatric" or the full name of their office on the form. However, my surgeon just does bariatric surgery only. A simple google search will show them exactly what my doctor does, if they look it up.

However, I'm trying to just let it roll off and not worry. Once I'm approved by my employer to take my leave, I'll breathe easier.

Your doctor can't tell them what you don't want them to know. The doctor can very easily tell them you had general laparoscopic surgery.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Maggie, you have to use your own holiday for that? Hell, no. Can't you just call off sick. With regards telling them that you are having a different op, I wouldn't go that way. Bariatric surgery is not an aesthetic op. Is to get ourself better. Good luck.

@@catalina_uk, I thought I'd need to use my earned PTO time, but now it may be a combination of sick days and PTO days (not sure).

Update! HR approved my FMLA leave today and brought me the paperwork. 4 pages are for the doctor's office to fill out and sign. I put post-it notes on various parts and wrote notes like, "please don't write bariatrics here", etc. The nurse who took it added some post-it notes of her own about discretion. It's mostly fill-in-the-blanks. I'm sure they've been asked for discretion by many other patients. After it's done, they'll call me to let me know it's ready to pick up. I'm glad to pick it up and read it before turning it in myself, rather than have them fax it to the office.

Bonus news: I'm down 3 pounds! I'm in the middle of Day #3 of the 2-week liquid fast. It's hard, but not as totally awful as I thought it was going to be (yet).

I hope everyone is having a great day!