Dealing with toddler post opp

[Brenda Sherwood 64]

My surgery should be in about 3 weeks (will have exact date in a couple days) and if course Im worried about alot but what Im most worried about is my just turned 2 year old. How did those of you with really little ones handle the time immediately post op? Im worried about her crawling on me and stuff and how Im sleep deprived now and I know you are real tired post op. My husband is not supportive of my decision to get this surgery and isnt very helpful with my daughter unless Im at work so Im scared... feel like I should ask for extended hospital stay

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[PaulaB72 49]

That's a tough one. Do you have anyone who could come and stay with you for a few days?

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[Proud2BMe 1,016]

The surgery is a breeze. You should be good to go a couple of days later. You might have someone keep him for a couple of days and then get help when he needs to be lifted. Otherwise you will be fine. A lot of people are expecting this debilitating surgery when it's not like that at all. Very easy and in most places now it's being done as an out patient procedure instead of a hospital stay.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

You are going to need help.

You aren't going to be able to lift the toddler and you sure as heck won't want them crawling all over you. You are going to be sore sore sore. I felt like I did 1000 crunches. I wasn't in pain but I was sore.

A toddler isn't going to understand that Mommy is sore.

Also you are eating so little, and your body is using so much energy to heal, you are not going to have a lot of energy. Right after surgery you get tired fast.

Do you have a friend or relative that can help? You are going to be exhausted with a fresh 2 year old and surgery.

[Brenda Sherwood 64]

I live 3000 miles away from my family and have no friends here. My in laws are coming for a few weeks but tgat was planned prior to knowing Id be getting surgery. So Im sure they will help some but not much. Didnt even think about lifting her til you mentioned. Atleast shes way smaller than most her age (22lb) Oh boy!

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

My post-op instructions say no lifting over 15lbs. And seriously I doubt you will be able to lift her.

You use your core so much for lifting even if you don't realize it, and your muscles will have been cut.

[Christinamo7 4,042]

well. she will probably get good at climbing - so that you will be having her climb up on a couch for changing or cuddling.

look, it's not ideal. but I had 4 children at home under age 8 when I had a c section and I was left at home with all of them, and it was ok. you get through it somehow. I couldn't lift then either. You will need to prepare as many meals ahead and do the grocery shopping for two full weeks BEFORE surgery. you will not want to be up and down. If needed pack a cooler of Snacks to keep by the sofa or wherever you are nesting to minimize trips for Snacks. Have diapers, wipes and a trash handy where you nest also.

truth be told I felt pretty good after surgery and if you have no complications you will too. the hardest part will be eating liquids while feeding her good food. you can do it.

the good news is two months from surgery she can expect to have a healthier, happier mama with way more energy to interact with her.

the c section was a LOT harder for me than this surgery. Mom's are tough, you can do this!

Edited April 22, 2016 by Christinamo7

[daniotra 298]

I have a two year old and a special needs 5 year old. I'm grateful both can get into their car seats alone. I plan on making sure I have wipes and diapers in convenient locations to make it easier on me. My husband plans on staying with me the first week, but I'll need to be self sufficient after that.

You probably will be -able- to lift your daughter, but it's highly advised against.

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[Talaria 50]

The first 5-7 days post op are the hardest. I had my surgery in Miami and flew home to Boston 5 days later. 2 days after being home I was sore and tired, but ok to go to Target and other errands. I'm 11 days post op and got up, showered and dressed in jeans (for the first time since surgery), went to get a pedicure, went to the chiropractor, took my daughter to get a haircut, and I'm going to go shopping this afternoon. It truly gets better each day. A week ago I was a crying mess wondering how I'd muster the strength to fly home. That said, you may want to hire a babysitter for a few hours each day to help you out-at least for the first week.

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[Zsazsaamor 46]

My surgery was 4/20 not only was my husband unsupportive but he was incarcerated days before I went in. Family didn't show up. If there's a will there's a way! Nothing is impossible. I'm with my 2yr old all day every day. I say keep pushing and praying. Sis I mention 4/14 I fell down the stairs and injured both ankles and my right wrist? I'm telling you do what's comfortable for you! I did what I felt was necessary for me. I cry, I be in pain, and some days I fall short on my Protein but I'm alive and I'm not giving up!!

[Zsazsaamor 46]

My surgery was 4/20 not only was my husband unsupportive but he was incarcerated days before I went in. Family didn't show up. If there's a will there's a way! Nothing is impossible. I'm with my 2yr old all day every day. I say keep pushing and praying. Sis I mention 4/14 I fell down the stairs and injured both ankles and my right wrist? I'm telling you do what's comfortable for you! I did what I felt was necessary for me. I cry, I be in pain, and some days I fall short on my Protein but I'm alive and I'm not giving up!!

*Did*

[KristenLe 5,980]

I'd give your husband a kick in the ass! I don't think you had your daughter alone - you should not have to be the only one to take care of her! You will want and need help post-op. I suppose you're supposed to entertain your in-laws while you're at it?! :-( I'm sorry - maybe you could get someone in to help a few hours a day?

[jea(n__n)ette 98]

I'd give your husband a kick in the ass! I don't think you had your daughter alone - you should not have to be the only one to take care of her! You will want and need help post-op.

I agree with KristenLe. Sounds like he's unsupportive in terms of child rearing and unsupportive of your new healthier, lifestyle change. If he won't agree to help with child rearing, household chores, and your personal needs, you need a family member or friend to be by your side helping at least for the first week, whether they stay with you or you stay with them.

If he's still unsupportive, the lack of support and stress from your partner can sabotage your future of a healthier and happier you. And your child needs a healthier and proud mother as a role model too. You put a lot of thought, time, and effort into the decision of having WLS, and to be successful, you need to put your needs first, not his.

Best wishes.

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[Tracie Martin 11]

I second the kick your husband in the gnads. Now, I was sleeved on 4/21 and I have a toddler and a 6yo. I was in the hospital for a few extra days because I couldnt keep anything down. I was surprised though, that as soon as I got home I perked up very quickly. I'm doing housework, etc etc now one week out, and Im only napping once a day. My doc said to arrange assistance for a week after surgery and then I should be fine. I'm going to be on my own with him tomorrow. We're potty training, so hurrah!

When I broke my ankle, we had to put my toddler in daycare for a few weeks. They were fine with it being temp. Can you do this for a week if your husband won't take a week off to help? Or can you call your mama and ask her to come out?

[Brenda Sherwood 64]

Thanks for the replies. I got a date scheduled and went to my last appointment with him yesterday where we had to watch videos and discuss the actual proceedure. Even though Ive been talking about it for a couple months, he didnt seem to quiet understand til now. He just said hed take the 2 days off after ai get out of hospital for some help, I was amazed. We already discussed putting her in daycare for half days for the first week or two and having his parents help me a little. Not sure how much help they will be though, Im usually waiting on them. But we shall see...started preop clear liquid diet today. Wish I could fast forward 2 months

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