Not telling people about your surgery is a "half truth" or a "lie" steams me like a pile of fresh cow dung...

[RJC5197 282]

I really do not want everyone to know about my surgery, but given the amount of people (Work & Family) and a couple of them at work had themselves, or spouses had the same surgery I am having, know what is going on.

Everyone know about the rumor mills at work places.

The only good thing keeping them guessing is my health issues from vertical banding of 20 years ago (They do not know of) has put me in the hospital a few times and most just think I am getting a fix to that problem. I am--in that RNY is the proper and only fix available for me.

I really do not care if or what other think, just that I am happy with what I am doing, Gladly all my Family has been very supportive, both over the last years and now.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I chose to keep my surgery private. I did have a friend, who is preparing for WLS, ask me outright if I lost my weight through surgery. I lied and said I hadn't. I felt terrible as I know I may have caused her doubt in herself regarding if she could lose her weight without surgery. I feel really bad about it, but I know she is a bit gossipy, so if I had told her I know she would have told others.

I gave her heaps of encouragement about her surgery and told her if I were to regain all of my weight I would have surgery too.

But I feel like an a*****e. I don't know if I made the right decision not telling her. It definitely was not in her best interest and very selfish.

I am all about privacy and keeping your information confidential if that's what you choose to do. That said, as I was reading your post, I was a bit irritated at you for telling her you didn't have surgery when asked out right. (Clearly I am just as bitchy in person as I am on these boards because NO ONE has ever asked me. HA!)

BUT!!! The second you stated your concerns about her inability to keep your information to herself, you totally won me back over. You DO NOT have to tell ANYONE ANYTHING personal if it is going to make you uncomfortable. You owe her nothing.

Don't feel guilty and don't beat yourself up. Your reason for not telling her is 100% reasonable and warranted. Let go of that guilt. It only creates cravings for chocolate.

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

To quote a country western song "my give a damn is busted"

Honestly makes this all so much simpler.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

I chose to keep my surgery private. I did have a friend, who is preparing for WLS, ask me outright if I lost my weight through surgery. I lied and said I hadn't. I felt terrible as I know I may have caused her doubt in herself regarding if she could lose her weight without surgery. I feel really bad about it, but I know she is a bit gossipy, so if I had told her I know she would have told others.

I gave her heaps of encouragement about her surgery and told her if I were to regain all of my weight I would have surgery too.

But I feel like an a*****e. I don't know if I made the right decision not telling her. It definitely was not in her best interest and very selfish.

When I was first going through pre-op testing I told one of my closest friends I was planning to have surgery and told her not to tell anyone. Then not even a week later she told me she told 2 people "that I didn't think counted". It really hurt my feelings and basically changed our friendship forever. As a single person I know you can't trust married people to keep their mouths shut, but I thought she and I were better friends than that. I have kept plenty of her secrets. In that moment I realized that if I wanted to keep any control over who knew about my surgery, I had to keep it to myself.

It sucks because my friend could really benefit from surgery, but she isn't mentally ready for the changes, so there is no point in trying to have the conversation with her.

The fact she blabbed my business like it was her story to tell, removed all guilt for me, and I learned my lesson.

Don't feel bad.

[j16 166]

I'm hoping this doesn't come up for me but if someone asks directly I plan on saying either "That's a pretty personal question!" or "I don't like to talk about personal questions like that" or maybe "Why do you ask?"

I do have one sister whom I don't wish to tell cuz I think she will tell others and am not sure what to tell her. We are close enough to ask personal questions and I wouldn't want to imply a method of weight loss works when it didn't work for me (for me, diet and exercise did not work). Maybe I will just say. "I'm eating a whole lot less food!" For now, I just hope I get my surgery and lose the weight

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[gpmed 623]

Just had someone (not overweight) insist I tell her what I was doing to lose weight. I just told her diet and exercise. I don't feel even a tiny bit bad about it either.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Just had someone (not overweight) insist I tell her what I was doing to lose weight. I just told her diet and exercise. I don't feel even a tiny bit bad about it either.

I'd insist she suck my butt.

[gpmed 623]

Just had someone (not overweight) insist I tell her what I was doing to lose weight. I just told her diet and exercise. I don't feel even a tiny bit bad about it either.

I'd insist she suck my butt.

I would, but it's a coworker so gotta keep it kinda profesh.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Just had someone (not overweight) insist I tell her what I was doing to lose weight. I just told her diet and exercise. I don't feel even a tiny bit bad about it either.

I'd insist she suck my butt.

I would, but it's a coworker so gotta keep it kinda profesh.

Why? She's not.

[gpmed 623]

Just had someone (not overweight) insist I tell her what I was doing to lose weight. I just told her diet and exercise. I don't feel even a tiny bit bad about it either.

I'd insist she suck my butt.

I would, but it's a coworker so gotta keep it kinda profesh.

Why? She's not.

Cause it feels good knowing I'm better than her? hahaha That and my reputation is worth protecting.