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Recently I have been reflecting on my present and future progress with weight loss. From this reflection I have come to the conclusion. When I have the feeling that I do not want to exercise, that is just a superficial manifestation of what is really going on. The real issue, when I do not feel like exercising, is that I have fear that I will never reach my goal and I am giving up. Now, so of you just read that and have your fingers ready to type something to me before you do let me say this these moments are brief, but they must be dealt with. Please do not give me advice about the above I am trying to make a bigger point. Once I realized that fear was the motivating factor in the I-don't-want-to-work-out-syndrome. I was able to fight back this week. If I continue the course I will have worked out six days this week. Take that despair! The other thing that happen this week as I shared the above with my prayer partner is a statement she made to me, "You suffered an injury as a child and now you are finally in rehab to recover from that injury." In essence she was encouraging me to see my weight loss journey as rehab. What she says is true. I am the adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse and parental neglect. Throw some time periods of poverty into the mix well you have a recipe for childhood and adult obesity and here I am. Losing the weight is part of the process of healing that very old wound. To me that is more important than smaller clothes sizes, appearance, and so on. My weight is a physical manifestation of childhood trauma.

My question to you is this-- how to you view your weight loss journey? Is just about having a smaller body? Is it about healing wounds from the past? I am interested in your thoughts. How does the way in which you view your process affecting you?

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I had the surgery due to diabetes and high blood pressure. when I check my sugar and it is normal on no meds, that is my motivation. :-) the weight loss is a very nice side effect.

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@@1Cor2:9 - good insights, thanks for sharing. If you do the work, and discover the wounds, the healing can follow, but old scripts can still come into your mind and heart, so it really is one day at a time and realize this is a process.

I have found it is the most thoughtful and feeling people who can freak themselves out the most. So you are in good company.

I have found most of my struggle was a misplaced sense of entitlement. I deserve a reward, have a cookie. Part of that stems from lack of affirmation growing up. I now change the affirmation to "I deserve to go run." It makes a difference.

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@@1Cor2:9 - good insights, thanks for sharing. If you do the work, and discover the wounds, the healing can follow, but old scripts can still come into your mind and heart, so it really is one day at a time and realize this is a process.

I have found it is the most thoughtful and feeling people who can freak themselves out the most. So you are in good company.

I have found most of my struggle was a misplaced sense of entitlement. I deserve a reward, have a cookie. Part of that stems from lack of affirmation growing up. I now change the affirmation to "I deserve to go run." It makes a difference.

You are one of the most helpful people here.

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@@1Cor2:9 - good insights, thanks for sharing. If you do the work, and discover the wounds, the healing can follow, but old scripts can still come into your mind and heart, so it really is one day at a time and realize this is a process.

I have found it is the most thoughtful and feeling people who can freak themselves out the most. So you are in good company.

I have found most of my struggle was a misplaced sense of entitlement. I deserve a reward, have a cookie. Part of that stems from lack of affirmation growing up. I now change the affirmation to "I deserve to go run." It makes a difference.

You are one of the most helpful people here.

Well, thank you, that is a really nice compliment.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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