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Lonely in Sleeveland

gingeryank

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gingeryank    37

gingeryank
Posted

Greetings, all. I'm a newbie. I'm a 5'1 mother to a three-year-old son and a professor by trade. My pre-op weight was 212. I was 192.8 on the day of my surgery, Feb 25th, and today I'm 176.2. My surgeon was Dr. Thomas Roshek in Plano/Frisco, TX.

I'm thrilled with the surgery and the 35.2 lb weight loss, but I don't have a large support system in general, and I have a support system of exactly 0 in relationship to my surgery. :) I didn't know how much I'd need someone (or a small village?) to walk this journey with me until now, my fifth week post op.

My husband is not supportive. He doesn't overtly try to undermine my progress, but he doesn't ask questions. He hasn't made a single comment about my weight loss. And he's a gym rat--a muscular, bully of a guy who used to be a personal trainer. This is sort of his business, so to speak: to notice body changes.

But I digress. Clearly I need to look elsewhere for an anchor to keep me from drowning. I want to succeed.

Do you know of any support groups--virtual or face-to-face--in the north DFW area? A private FB group? Helpful forums on here? Anything, really.

ginger

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VSGAnn2014    12,992

VSGAnn2014
Posted

Ginger, this and other online forums have been great. I don't attend any in-person support groups (too far away), but unlike you my husband has been a great support person. So sorry yours has never engaged to support you. That's troubling.

First of all, you can search the forums and read threads to your heart's content. These online forums have been amazingly helpful to me. But I'm an online / social media enthusiast.

Second, you might consider finding a counselor / therapist / psychologist with successful experience working with bariatric patients. I've been working with one since 3 months pre-op. FYI, I'm 19 months post-op.

Finally, I do hope you find an in-person group since you don't have any real-life support at all. In a community as large as Texas, I bet you'll be successful in finding at least one.

Welcome here. :)

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darima77    56

darima77
Posted

Hey Ginger, hang in there. I just had my surgery 5 days ago. There is a support group in every 2nd Wednesday of each month at Baylor Plano @6pm main hospital lower level education centre. I will be attending.

I feel for you in your situation. I hope as time goes on your husband will be more supportive. Let me know if this helps.

Sent from my VS990 using the BariatricPal App

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Sophie74656    1,572

Sophie74656
Posted

Check Meetup. They have lots of groups. There might be something in your area

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OutsideMatchInside    10,166

OutsideMatchInside
Posted (edited)

You could look for a sleeve buddy on the forums. I found one here with the same surgery date as me and our friendship has been a great help to me during my post op time.

Other than that I post here and that's enough.

There are lots of Facebook groups, I don't use them but I am sure someone can suggest some.

Edited by OutsideMatchInside

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ssflbelle    829

ssflbelle
Posted

darima77 I was just sending the same info when I saw that you had posted. So glad you live near by and hopefully the two of you can support each others.

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Juhygtfrdsd    154

Juhygtfrdsd
Posted

Ginger u can PM me happy to be there for you...i have a friend in tx too who had it done.

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ssflbelle    829

ssflbelle
Posted

darima77 I was just sending the same info when I saw that you had posted. So glad you live near by and hopefully the two of you can support each others.

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gingeryank    37

gingeryank
Posted

Hey Ginger, hang in there. I just had my surgery 5 days ago. There is a support group in every 2nd Wednesday of each month at Baylor Plano @6pm main hospital lower level education centre. I will be attending.

I feel for you in your situation. I hope as time goes on your husband will be more supportive. Let me know if this helps.

Sent from my VS990 using the BariatricPal App

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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gingeryank    37

gingeryank
Posted

Ginger, this and other online forums have been great. I don't attend any in-person support groups (too far away), but unlike you my husband has been a great support person. So sorry yours has never engaged to support you. That's troubling.

First of all, you can search the forums and read threads to your heart's content. These online forums have been amazingly helpful to me. But I'm an online / social media enthusiast.

Second, you might consider finding a counselor / therapist / psychologist with successful experience working with bariatric patients. I've been working with one since 3 months pre-op. FYI, I'm 19 months post-op.

Finally, I do hope you find an in-person group since you don't have any real-life support at all. In a community as large as Texas, I bet you'll be successful in finding at least one.

Welcome here. :)

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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gingeryank    37

gingeryank
Posted

It's funny. I teach online, but I wouldn't describe myself as an online/social media enthusiast. I feel like I need to become one insofar as I need to be part of a community. I also have a genetic autoimmune disease, AS, and would love to connect with others with chronic diseases/pain.

I have an excellent psychologist. I guess I forgot that important detail. She's especially helpful in pointing out my husband's control issues and showing me how to retain my autonomy and freedom (and joy!) in the midst of them. I see her weekly, but most recently, she's given me the gentle push to branch out and meet people. I'm so used to hiding--mainly due to my weight--so this step will be important for me.

Congrats on being 19 months post op! Can't wait to be there.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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Juhygtfrdsd    154

Juhygtfrdsd
Posted

There are others this is the most interactive

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Go To Topic Listing Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story

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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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