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My recent adventures..



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So, when I decided to "try again" I firmly committed myself to a different approach as advised by MANY. I make the mistake of zeroing in on a person to quickly and then am disappointed when it doesn't work out so this time the idea is to date many, very casually, and get to know a person for months before devoting too much time to a person. I have been pleased at finding an overall better pool of prospects, and things are going well...however...I recently realized I am doing it again! The idea is you sort of rotate through lots of people and as people"drop out" you replace. Eventually, a good match shows up, stays with you and you have had time to get to know him.

Instead, I met two guys early on and so far, I go out with them. Basically, I am repeating my old pattern only with 2 instead of one...arrggghhh!!!

Things are very light, but, I don't have time to do more which means I need to force the issue. Truth is I enjoy both their company but one of them i KNOW isn't a good match. He is soooo persistent but in a nice way I am having trouble saying I am not interested. I have been on 3 very fun dates but last night he was making plans for summer BBQ! - I about fainted. I feel like a heel that I just dont have that mutual interest and that I feel absolutely smothered by the emails, the pinning me down for Saturday nights etc. I did not anticipate this because I have never experienced the "he's such a nice, considerate guy" guilt. Btw, my lack of attraction/interest has mostly to do with communication. He was born out of the country but been here since 1980 and he is still difficult to converse with, thick accent and just slow to pick up things. I think he is either hard of hearing...or maybe a little slow..I had to explain stuff in a movie we watched, for example. Noisy restaurants...forget it... Intelligent conversation is so high on my "needs" list that this is becoming difficult... I am dreading this.

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I totally understand about the foreigner problem. My last serious attempt at online dating had me with a bunch of English as a second language engineers. It was fun to begin with, but as you stated, communication is very important to me.

Try try try again...

On my attempt to try AGAIN...I received a message from a guy I knew about 8 years ago. He dated my good friend. It was a serious relationship. I felt like, gimme a break...I'm 50+ pounds lighter from then, but WTHey??!!! My face looks the same! Back to the drawing board.

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Oh my...this afternoon I was out with the girls and who should show up but K the man I had a fairly serious thing with in 2014 that called me in January about getting back together (i declined). My face blindness was confirmed. .. I didn't see him, one of my friends did and then he came over and said hi. I am never awkward around ex 's but I was with him. I think it is because that call on January stirred up some questions on my mind about what I really want.... anyway, we girls than pinky swore to never ever ever bring a date to OUR favorite restaurant again because then you can't seem to get rid of em!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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