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You look like you're pregnant!



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Now, I'm pretty sure nearly every WLS female has heard this one at some stage in her life. So I bet none of you think to say it to someone else because there's always that "oops" factor.

Just had my surgery. That first night my CNA wandered in first thing in the morning, obviously close to tears, and told me one of her patients told her she looked "seven months pregnant." Let me tell you, she was probably a size 10 or lower and definitely flat in the abdomen area. She'd been super sweet to me during my stay, so I offered to go punch the offending patient (joking!) which cheered her up and got her to laugh a bit.

Seriously, who says these things? I guess the CNA could have said something snarky, but she was so sweet to me that I find that difficult to believe. In the end, I'll chalk it up to a mishearing.

Still, a WLS patient telling someone else she looks pregnant. :D

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Some people don't have any tact! The general rule of thumb is you don't ask someone that question unless you see a head sticking out.

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@@songsmith, why'd you go and ruin it by inserting "(joking!)?" Offending patients should be punched. Punch proudly.

@@SweetPeas, coincidence that I saw a brief video today of a porpoise (or was it a dolphin?) being born. It was under two minutes. If I can find it quickly, I'll edit a link in. Tail first, not head.

--------------------------------------

Here it is, from Shedd Aquarium, Chicago -- white-sided dolphin. Turn the volume up so you don't miss the comment about the dorsal fin. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iowxjTJDJBw

Edited by WLSResources/ClothingExch

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Many years ago I worked with a very slight, downright skinny young woman who had a bitty little pooch. It wasn't fat, because she was a twig - I think she was just built that way. Anyway, she got the "how far along are you" ALOT. Fortunately she was tough and had a good sense of humor and KNEW she was skinny enough, but what young woman wants to hear that from complete strangers?

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That little "pooch" that some women have is from the way their uterus is positioned - not much can be done for it! Plus I think it's cute.

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Unless I know for CERTAIN someone is pregnant I would never comment! I also never say "what a handsome little boy or a beautiful little girl" I use the generic "what a beautiful baby!" because it's just TOO hard to tell sometimes and mother's get CRAY CRAY sometimes when you make a mistake :blink:

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I never, ever ask a woman if she's pregnant or say she looks pregnant, ever. My bank teller's belly was sticking out so far her shirt was tented and looked like she was going to pop. Not a word. Not until said woman says something about the baby, at which point I ask questions because they are open to talking about it.

As a side note, I was a sad pregnant lady because no one asked me about it :( because I was too fat to look pregnant. I got excited when some lady asked me about my maternity shirt (because she was looking for something similar for her daughter) and I told her Old Navy has a great maternity clothes selection. Then she said "Oh, I didn't realize you were pregnant! I was just looking for plus-sized clothes for her." *deflated*

I had to tell my colleague who saw me every day I was pregnant - when I was 7 months along <_<

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Sadly, my husband is that person that has no filter. He asked our kids former babysitter when her due date was (she had gained some weight). Good for her when she laughed and then asked him when his was. I keep telling him, if you don't know, don't open your mouth. He didn't mean it in a bad way....she had just got married and assumed...wrongly obviously. This does infuriate me and I spend time scolding him like a child and making him clean up his mouth messes.

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It's one question we all learn not to ask. Good call about the gender of the baby remarks! I use the "beautiful baby" approach, too!

For all I know the CNA misheard her. Maybe she reminded her of this woman's pregnant daughter/niece and all the CNA heard was "you look pregnant." Or maybe the woman had no off switch. The lesson is not to say that to the person who might be jabbing you with things throughout the night! ;)

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I remember I had just purchased a new outfit. I purchased it at Lane Bryant. Dark denim jeans with a slight flair. Summer Wedges made of red canvas. A white peasant blouse with red and yellow embroidered detail. Cute hoop earrings. A long necklace. Bangle bracelets. My dark hair fell strait to my waist. I felt like a million bucks. I felt beautiful.

I was at a Sam's Club, purchasing items for the shop when a young man said, "Oh my gosh you are so cute! How far along are you?"

I. Was. DEVASTATED.

However, I smiled at the young man who look at me, expecting a reply with a smile on his face. So, I took a deep breath. Smiled. "I am 5 months."

"Oh! How exciting! I bet it's going to be a boy!"

"I hope so. Thank you. Have a great day, sir."

I walked away. Heart sunken. Confidence flattened. Tears all the way home.

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I'm pre op VSG. I'm currently a CNA at an assisted living facility, while going to Nursing school. When I first got hired, during lunch a group of women stared and made comments about my size. When I got home I cried to my mom. She told me "some old people have loose lips". I laughed a little but it still hurt. I've been working there for a while now and I still get uncomfortable around those women.

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I remember I had just purchased a new outfit. I purchased it at Lane Bryant. Dark denim jeans with a slight flair. Summer Wedges made of red canvas. A white peasant blouse with red and yellow embroidered detail. Cute hoop earrings. A long necklace. Bangle bracelets. My dark hair fell strait to my waist. I felt like a million bucks. I felt beautiful.

I was at a Sam's Club, purchasing items for the shop when a young man said, "Oh my gosh you are so cute! How far along are you?"

I. Was. DEVASTATED.

However, I smiled at the young man who look at me, expecting a reply with a smile on his face. So, I took a deep breath. Smiled. "I am 5 months."

"Oh! How exciting! I bet it's going to be a boy!"

"I hope so. Thank you. Have a great day, sir."

I walked away. Heart sunken. Confidence flattened. Tears all the way home.

You should find that guy now and put him in a choke hold with your muscles.

But really, that story makes me sad. I've been through something similar.

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I was asked when my baby was due once. I wasn't even overweight at the time, just wearing a high-waisted dress. In retrospect, I wish I would have said, "Ten months."

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I went to get a mole removed from my back when I was pregnant. He asked me to lay on my stomach and I said I couldn't, and he said "Oh, are you pregnant? When are you due?" and I replied "Yesterday".

The man was a fucking doctor, and couldn't even tell I was nine months pregnant.

Obviously the point is that I was just so fat in general, but... a doctor?! Nine months?!

Eleven years later and I still can't believe it.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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