How long does it take to fall in love?

[Katrinakit 139]

Lol

[RILEYSMOM22 344]

That wildly exciting, smitten feeling you get when you find you have chemistry with someone is largely that, chemistry...it is biochemical. That doesn't make it any less real, though. I believe you truly love someone when you find you are putting their needs before your own (and its nice when its reciprocal)... when you can trust him with your heart. I also don't believe there is a timeline.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@Katrinakit - interesting question to ask us. But not the worst group to ask. We are people who have taken action to save our lives, but we also had issues that led to WLS. So keep that in mind as you look at the responses.

Personally, I can find myself head over heals rather quickly and can get very infatuated quickly. But I'm ADD [sQUIRREL] in an off the chart way. However through therapy I have learned to self correct and see dangerous and negative things that are attractive but not good for long term relationship.

I know that I am attracted to Borderline Personality Disorder (http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder/index.shtml) women. Now I spot it quickly, even though I still really attracted to them. And I admit, I thought I was completely in love with one for a few weeks last year until I self corrected.

Now, I have found someone that I think I am very healthy in love with. What's the difference? It was a slow growth. Everything I learn about her is net positive. I don't have any nervousness nor trepidation (i.e. I used to feel like I was walking on egg shells in past relationships worried I would do something wrong, now I have no fear.)

If you really want to explore the topic, the best book I have found on the topic is: Mapping the Terrain of the Heart. My therapist just suggested: http://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797

[ohh_that_girl 22]

I read somewhere you choose to be in love. In some sense I believe that, you have to be willing and open to love, feel you are deserving of love. With that being said, I'm a cautious person and would say you cannot know someone in two weeks to truly "love" them, but that's not to say it won't develop into a long term loving relationship. I would say enjoy it while it is exhilarating!

[Sajijoma 1,324]

With love, you can't really control when or if you fall in love. I had relationships where I wanted so badly to be "in love" with the guy, but it just didn't happen and then like with my husband, I fell in love with him at first sight and I'm sure he did as well, because we got engaged on our second official date. We had written emails and talked on the phone for about 2 months, but our 2nd date we were engaged and he was shelling out big cash for the ring. lOL we got married a month later and have been together for over 17yrs and counting and with 7 kids to our credit. It's funny because even though I loved him and knew I never wanted to be without him, it wasn't until he got sick with the flu about 3wks after we were married that I truly knew just how much I loved him. ???? when you know, you just know.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Sometimes two seemingly conflicting truths co-exist.

For example: We choose to be in love. And yet the heart loves who the heart loves.

Love still has its mystery, does it not?

[Dub 10,051]

I was 16 years old. My current boyfriend brought his friend to my house one night to meet me. His friend took one look at me and said, "You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen and I want to spend the rest of my life looking at them."

I fell in love instantly. Broke up with the current boyfriend and began dating his friend ( I know that's kinda mean, but all is fair in love and war).

That boy and I have been together ever since. We have been married 25 years this year and more in love than ever. We knew we were meant for each other instantly. Our love and marriage has been a blessing and I am thankful everyday.

That is what it's all about right there !!!!!!

[Pescador 1,374]

Six strong alcoholic drinks.< /p>

[Dr-Patient 831]

I'm feeling "in love". It's with a man I met 24 years ago! He was married then, and we live in different cities. Nothing ever happened (or was even discussed!!! about any "chemistry" we felt at first meeting back then, though we now know that we each did feel something).

Sadly, his wife recently died; he reached out to me; and we are now chatting, smiling, laughing, skyping; and will see each other very, very soon [in 2 weeks! O.M.G.]. Also, in a few months, he wants for us to go back to the place where we first met, to try to reenact those first moments.

But I'm/we're starting slowly, as I know his widowed emotions are all over the place. I am not threatened about his feelings about her, and I know the "casserole ladies" will surface soon. But...that he reached out to me after all these years... feels to be a special gift. Those who will and can understand, pray for us.

I will say that, since having the VSG, I now see the woman I am, and I am now mentally FREE to enjoy me, my personality; I now don't hide from men. I see them noticing me, etc. I engage with them, and I can just relax and just "be" open to receive love. I think I was ashamed and hiding before.

All of this timing is a gift from above. And even though I have other wanna-be suitors, I'm focused on "him." We're going to give oxygen to the 'pilot light' that was burning quietly in each of our spirits over the years.

I know the OP asked about their situation. Sorry. I just had to share [though I may not keep this post up long].

[Dr-Patient 831]

Just curious: how old are you, and how much interaction have you had with him?

[Katrinakit 139]

Wow! Sorry to hear that he lost his wife but it sounds like you two might have a future together.

I'm 38. We have spent every day off together and have FaceTime dates after work

[Dr-Patient 831]

@@Katrinakit Thanks. Yes; it was a most sad journey with dementia and ALS--Lou Gehrig's. Sad. Giving him space to grieve, etc. But... we'll see...down the road. Thanks again.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Such a cool thing happening with you, @@Dr-Patient !

[Eric@@ash 47]

Puppy love/ Lust - instantly (just like I did for my husband, lol. It was the thunderbolt!)

Real true love takes getting to know someone for who they really are. I am still falling in love with my husband even more all the time and we're going on 13 years this year! He still surprises me and shows me what a good man he is constantly.

[Sharpie 3,306]

My Husband and I had our first date on Valentines Day 40 years ago. We married on March 26th 40 years ago. I lost him in October and I will have a sad Valentines Day this year but I will always remember what a wonderful man and devoted husband he was. so yes you can fall in love that quickly and many times it last like ours did. go with your heart and let your brain follow.