Or maybe it still is.

So a week ago I joined eHarmony. After a week, there are still NO matches for me within 100 miles. SERIOUSLY??????

I also joined OKCupid. Oyyy. Here's the week's rundown on who has contacted me:

6 guys who claim they are in the army and are deployed overseas. One guy's picture showed him wearing his army uniform incorrectly, and when I called him on it, he said "bye then." One guy who asked me my name (my first name is in my screen name like here). I replied, "Oh c'mon, you know my name." Then when he didn't respond, I said, "I'm losing faith in you, Mr. Smith (the name on his uniform). You know my name. Or is your name really Akwa from Nigeria??" He responded "ok bye". The jury is still out on whether the other 4 are legit or not.

One FBI agent, three Secret Service agents, and one British Intelligence Agent. Of course, NONE of them can really talk about themselves, but will "tell all when we meet". Yeah. Uh huh.

About 25 really bad scammers. Since I used to work for a kink site that had a dating section, I can spot them a mile away. Their messages go like this: "Am John by name. Am kind, am hardworking, am loyal. Seeking for honest woman."

Oh yes, another relatively-new scammer tactic... they use the word TACO in their screen name. Like this: John_taco or Jimbanx_taco. Not sure why they all suddenly think the word "taco" is appropriate.

Another two dozen guys that are looking for someone local (on their profiles) but are a minimum of 1,000 miles away. Not really sure what their deal is.

Two guys that are local to me, and another one 40 miles away. These three I might actually meet. I like the 40-mile guy the most, of course, since that's the one that's the most difficult logistically. For these three, I contacted them first.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the 22 year old who wanted "Mommy-son roleplay." No. Just... no.

Edited January 22, 201610 yr by Sharon1964

@@CowgirlJane

It was at 2:00 in the afternoon. We were in the parking lot of a large mall that is up against the park. And we were sitting in my car.

There is a regular police patrol throughout that parking lot.

But thank you for your concern!

So today I get a message from a 22 year old in my town, on OKC. Now remember, I'm 51 yrs old.

Pup: "You don't look your age at all."

Now I know he meant this to be a compliment, so I say, "Thank you." <---- First mistake.

Pup: "You are very beautiful."

Me: "You're very kind." <----Second mistake.

Pup: "I'm just honest. I know what I want when I see it."

Oy. I can't help it now, I just can't help it.

Me: "You want someone older than your mother???"

Yeah, I'm on a roll now.

Pup: "Not older than my mother. But older, yes. If you don't want someone younger I get it."

Okay, he sounds like he will be reasonable, so I try to be nice. <--- Third mistake

Me: "I'm incredibly flattered. You're less than half my age. I jut don't think I can handle that large of an age gap. But again, thank you."

Pup: "Can't handle the age gap or can't handle me?"

Oyyy. Did he just throw down the gauntlet? Is he challenging ME?? Does he know who he is dealing with???

Me: "Okay stud, how tall are you?"

He hasn't responded yet. His profile is blank on the height, which, in my experience, means they're shorter than me (5 ft 7). The questions will get more and more personal. Yes, I'm being a c-u-next-tuesday. I don't care.

@@Sharon1964

Stop toying with the cougar-bait....

@@Sharon1964

Stop toying with the cougar-bait....

But... but... but... mom!

@@Sharon1964

Laughing out loud at work, which is especially odd during tax season.... I usually tell them "Honey, I have shoes older than you are..."

Latest adventure...

I talked to this guy on the phone for a couple of hours. Very interesting, funny, had me laughing, all was good.

We met for a bite to eat.

He talked so fast I kept having to ask him to repeat himself. Okay, maybe he was nervous.

He left his phone in his truck then went to get it to show me a photo. That's when he discovered his keys were in the ignition. Again, maybe nervous.

He would ask me a question but then answer it himself. For instance, "do you like the food? You must like it, you're eating it." Maybe really nervous.

He mentioned I was hardly talking, when I had talked quite a bit on the phone.

He had weight loss surgery about 15 years ago maybe. We talked about that. Then he asked me what my weight and shoe size are. I guess he thought that since we both had surgery, those were acceptable questions.

Maybe I'm making excuses for him. He asked me if we could see each other again, because when we met it was very last-minute.

The jury is still out.

PS: I almost forgot... there were some red flags regarding anger, how he reacted to being stopped by the police for "driving while not white" (he's Portuguese), and how he handled a minor traffic accident.

Edited February 7, 201610 yr by Sharon1964

@@Sharon1964

So, we all know how shoe size supposedly relates to men.... what correlation was he proposing to make for women?

Curious.... In your mind, how many dates constitutes a relationship?

@@Sharon1964

So, we all know how shoe size supposedly relates to men.... what correlation was he proposing to make for women?

Curious.... In your mind, how many dates constitutes a relationship?

Shoe size... I have no idea! I responded, "big enough to keep me upright in a strong wind."

Relationship... that's a good question. I think it's like the "fall in love" question. For some it takes one date, for others, no amount of dates is enough.

Sharon, a wise person told me to give guys who are a bit socially inept a chance - because a lot of them are nice guys but make lousy first impressions. The friend who gave me this advice was my tall handsome smooth talking ex lover who had used his attributes to advantage but had grown up enough to realize how fake and wrong it could be. I tended to trust him on this kind of thing.

However, you mentioned red flags, and you didn't mention anything that you liked about him....ehhhhh...doesn't sound too promising.

I am not dating right now, but I am curious what others think about the idea of casually dating several people for months until really choosing one to enter an actual relationship with. My friend mentioned above told me to do that, my counselor told me to do that, but I really havent done that. By around 3-5 date either I don't want to keep seeing him or I don't want to see anyone else. This has resulted in me having 3-4 month relationship with people who were NOT a good match (including one who turned out to be paranoid, delusional).

I notice men will write in their profiles "no serial daters". I think it is a weird term as serial means more like sequential, when I think they mean they don't want to date someone unless they are exclusive right off the bat.

Sharon, a wise person told me to give guys who are a bit socially inept a chance - because a lot of them are nice guys but make lousy first impressions. The friend who gave me this advice was my tall handsome smooth talking ex lover who had used his attributes to advantage but had grown up enough to realize how fake and wrong it could be. I tended to trust him on this kind of thing.

However, you mentioned red flags, and you didn't mention anything that you liked about him....ehhhhh...doesn't sound too promising.

I am not dating right now, but I am curious what others think about the idea of casually dating several people for months until really choosing one to enter an actual relationship with. My friend mentioned above told me to do that, my counselor told me to do that, but I really havent done that. By around 3-5 date either I don't want to keep seeing him or I don't want to see anyone else. This has resulted in me having 3-4 month relationship with people who were NOT a good match (including one who turned out to be paranoid, delusional).

I notice men will write in their profiles "no serial daters". I think it is a weird term as serial means more like sequential, when I think they mean they don't want to date someone unless they are exclusive right off the bat.

I haven't done that either. I feel that if I am still interested after the first couple dates, I need to give that relationship a chance to grow. That's difficult for me if I am seeing other men.

Am married now, but if I were single I would have zero qualms about dating several guys at one time if I weren't yet serious about any of them.

It's called "dating." Not "going steady."

Yeah, the date was just too much work.

I have stopped dating all together. lol

I don't have a problem at all seeing more than one guy at a time. I have a big problem with sleeping with more than one at a time.

Dating is just that. Someone asks you out on a date, you decide if you want to go or not. It takes a long time to figure out if the person is someone who really is a match. Like CG Jane said, it took 3 or 4 months to decide she didn't want to spend time with guys whom she thought in the beginning might have potential.

guys aren't as anxious to get me into bed anymore, cause in my age group, they all have ED. I have a date tomorrow and one Wed. I opened my profile at senior people meet and ok cupid.

Now I just have some good stories to tell.

I already have one. I talked to this guy on the phone and he looked cute in his picture. During our conversation, he mentioned he had no teeth, but he plans to get dentures some day.

Yeah, teeth would be a requirement for me -- either original equipment or dentures, doesn't matter.