Or maybe it still is.

So a week ago I joined eHarmony. After a week, there are still NO matches for me within 100 miles. SERIOUSLY??????

I also joined OKCupid. Oyyy. Here's the week's rundown on who has contacted me:

6 guys who claim they are in the army and are deployed overseas. One guy's picture showed him wearing his army uniform incorrectly, and when I called him on it, he said "bye then." One guy who asked me my name (my first name is in my screen name like here). I replied, "Oh c'mon, you know my name." Then when he didn't respond, I said, "I'm losing faith in you, Mr. Smith (the name on his uniform). You know my name. Or is your name really Akwa from Nigeria??" He responded "ok bye". The jury is still out on whether the other 4 are legit or not.

One FBI agent, three Secret Service agents, and one British Intelligence Agent. Of course, NONE of them can really talk about themselves, but will "tell all when we meet". Yeah. Uh huh.

About 25 really bad scammers. Since I used to work for a kink site that had a dating section, I can spot them a mile away. Their messages go like this: "Am John by name. Am kind, am hardworking, am loyal. Seeking for honest woman."

Oh yes, another relatively-new scammer tactic... they use the word TACO in their screen name. Like this: John_taco or Jimbanx_taco. Not sure why they all suddenly think the word "taco" is appropriate.

Another two dozen guys that are looking for someone local (on their profiles) but are a minimum of 1,000 miles away. Not really sure what their deal is.

Two guys that are local to me, and another one 40 miles away. These three I might actually meet. I like the 40-mile guy the most, of course, since that's the one that's the most difficult logistically. For these three, I contacted them first.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the 22 year old who wanted "Mommy-son roleplay." No. Just... no.

Edited January 22, 201610 yr by Sharon1964

Oh Lord, I tried one of these just to see, it was a senior sight as I am not a cougar. But the pics they sent me…OMG they all looked like a bunch of wrinkled up serial killers!! Got out of that real quick, Ugh!

Okay, what has become quite amusing to me is that guys who say they live in my town of 100,000 people (we are right up against another town that is 500,000), can't say one single thing about the town. One guy I was suspicious of, I asked him, "what major intersection do you work near?" and he just repeated his first sentence of "hi, how are you". I told him BZZZZ, wrong answer, and blocked him.

I also found they don't understand humor. One guy said I was very kind, and I said "hah, got you fooled already!" and he had no idea what I was saying.

Edited January 24, 201610 yr by Sharon1964

@@shriner37

I hear the same things from guys on the dating sites. Also, that when they do meet a woman, they realize the pics are at least 10 yrs old. Apparently, @having a job is also a rarity.

I had been telling them pretty quickly about the WLS and find that no matter how gently and carefully I explain it, the guys vanish. I wonder if they imagine the excess skin, etc. I dunno. I did just have my 3rd date with a guy that I thought had disappeared. I told him about the surgery before we met and he is still hanging in there. I am not sharing it as soon in the future (kinda hoping things work out with this guy and there is no future on the dating sites).

@

Creepy serial killer geezers....LOL

Lastly, what are peoples thoughts about mentioning the weight loss journey? I decided to be up front about it and put it right in my profile that I had WLS and am about halfway through my weight loss journey. My thinking was that it shows I'm serious about improving myself and living a healthier lifestyle. Not sure if this is a good or bad idea.

I think that's WAY too much information WAY too early on for an online dating site.

I wanted to triple like Ann's comment.

At 4 years post op, many of my newer friends don't even know. The surgery itself becomes less and less center stage. Besides, I've got alot of worse deep dark secrets than that sleeve.

I DO mention active, healthy lifestyle though. Dated a guy for about a month and he always took me to horrible food places. I cooked dinner for him once, it was our last date. Apparently a beautiful grilled salmon, roasted veggies, fresh salad and a small side of basmati rice could not compete with double bacon cheese burger and a pound of greasy fries which is the kinda food he wanted. He ate my meal, but the look on his face.....

BTW he'd already had a heart attack and triple bypass...and still ate the poorest quality food imaginable.

Anyway, I find it easy to find fitness, clean eating oriented men and the surgery isn't relevant.

Lastly, what are peoples thoughts about mentioning the weight loss journey? I decided to be up front about it and put it right in my profile that I had WLS and am about halfway through my weight loss journey. My thinking was that it shows I'm serious about improving myself and living a healthier lifestyle. Not sure if this is a good or bad idea.

I think that's WAY too much information WAY too early on for an online dating site.

Lastly, what are peoples thoughts about mentioning the weight loss journey? I decided to be up front about it and put it right in my profile that I had WLS and am about halfway through my weight loss journey. My thinking was that it shows I'm serious about improving myself and living a healthier lifestyle. Not sure if this is a good or bad idea.

I think that's WAY too much information WAY too early on for an online dating site.

I guess maybe it's a guys perspective but I didn't really see it as that big of a deal. However, based on the replies here I thought better of it and changed the line to not reference WLS, instead just to indicate that I'm working on a healthy lifestyle and it would be nice to find an exercise partner.

Well at least you guys have confirmed that my choice to never join a dating website was the correct one! But it also makes me think I'm the only single person on the planet that is perfectly happy being single. I outgrew the desire to waste my time dating back in my mid-30's. The only two dates I've had in the last 15 years were forced upon me by "friends" trying to hook me up after my VSG. one turned out to be a stalker who finally moved on to his next victim after 6 months of bugging me and the other was arrested for beating up the next gal he dated after me.

I must say, the only downside to being single is the fact that no one ever throws us parties and we don't get wedding or bridal shower presents. Hey, just because I like being single doesn't mean I don't like presents!

Here's the plan: We singles throw a yearly birthday party for ourselves! Everyone who comes is to bring a present (not to exceed a preset amount) and a beautiful cupcake to exchange. We could even do this regionally if our distances are too far apart. Whatcha think???? My birthday is on Valentines' Day. Tell me that that doesn't suck when one is single????

@@Valentina that's a great idea! But again, married people get birthday , wedding and anniversary presents...we still get ripped off.

As for Valentine's Day, it hasn't been a biggie for me even when I was dating. The very first love of my life ruined it by getting engaged to someone else on Valentine's Day 1987. We had dated off and on all through high school. I was a freshman in college. He was in the Army, stationed at Ft. Bragg and I found out he had been cheating on me from his younger brother. . But it sure felt good pounding his glass ring into a pancake before returning it. Guess that was the beginning of the end for me.....

@@shriner37 - NO never mention you had WLS until you get to know someone really well. Period Dating/non-Dating.

Yes there are horror stories with online dating. Yes there are horror stories with WLS. That's life. There are many horror stories in all phases of life, from marriage, parents, to raising kids. Don't miss the point. Online dating sites are just a tool like your WLS.

I enjoyed meeting people online. Yes I saw and reported the obvious scammers. Most people I screened online didn't pan out, so what? After years of work and many thousands of dollars I found someone I think the world of and want to spend the rest of my life with. Was it worth it? IMHO, HELL YES. But look, if it isn't worth it to you, don't do it. But don't discourage someone from trying a potentially life altering tool, and respect it just as 99% respect WLS.

Oh yeah I got a bunch of losers. A LOT of 18 - 20 yr old boys wanted a cougar. No thanks!

I want a courgar...oh wait, no I don't I found the one.

I want a courgar...oh wait, no I don't I found the one.

Keep it up buddy. I'm gonna pop you one RIGHT IN THE KISSER!!!!!!

I was around 190 at the time but pretty firm and curvy. Definitely not skinny but I didn't look obese (even though I felt it)

Just to try to make real connections I did not want to surprise anyone so I put several pictures out so they should have any surprises and I never let anyone think I was little. At any rate here are some of the experiences I had while online in my mid forties.

1. This guy that was 6 ft, blond and blue eyes and it good shape met me at the zoo, he was suppose to be in his forties. He showed up wearing a work uniform which I could live with but, he was maybe 5'10", his hair WAS blond on the sides but he huge combover and it seemed dirty. He wore glasses and they were taped on the corner. Hmmm, that was a no from me.

2. Another guy showed up for a drink and I realized he walked with a limp and after questioning he admitted he had a wooden leg from the knee down on one leg. That wasn't a deal breaker but when he wanted to rent a hotel room to show me that it didn't affect him, that was a deal breaker.

3. One guy I had only talked to on the phone about 3 times He kept telling me about his wonderful house with a pool and told me he was having a big pool party with lots of important people attending. He asked me if I wanted to come and after a lot of pressure I said I would. The more I thought about it I decided not to because I didn't know him nor any of the people coming and I would be in a strange house and area of town. When I told him I wasn't coming he blew a gasket.

He called me everything filthy that I had ever heard and said if he could find me he would beat the *$#% out of me. I was SOOOO thankful I had never told this person where I lived. What in the heck had he planned for that evening that I wasn't aware of.

4. Several married men that wanted a quickie and wanted our first meeting to be at a motel

5. One guy that was at least 20 years older and he showed up in what I called an old man jump suit. He could have been my father. He was nice but I wasn't interested at all and he immediately started pushing for a weekend away together. I very plainly told him that he was nice but I couldn't see a future for us so I wouldn't want to mislead him at all. He then offered to take me shopping after dinner. I shook his hand goodbye and didn't return any of his future calls.

6. I met another guy for lunch one day. He ended up being about 28 and when I showed up I asked him for first impressions and he said...you aren't THAT fat! LOL, I laughed in his face and told him to take some advice and never say that to any future dates. I also told him my impression of him was that he was a kid looking for a sugar mama and I wasn't that. But I let him buy my lunch and kidded with him for about an hour. Never saw him again, didn't want to

7. Lots of guys that just wanted to have phone sex.

8. I also met a couple of guys that were ok but either weren't interested in me because they somehow didn't care for me.(hard to believe, I know) or that I didn't click with for some reason.

9. I met 2 men that I could have had a major fling with because we had an immediate attraction but I know one was married and the other didn't want just one person in his life.

Some of it was fun, some exciting, some heartbreaking, some downright scary, but thankfully I survived and ended up with my prince.

The saying is true, You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your Prince Charming.

@@Valentina that's a great idea! But again, married people get birthday , wedding and anniversary presents...we still get ripped off.

As for Valentine's Day, it hasn't been a biggie for me even when I was dating. The very first love of my life ruined it by getting engaged to someone else on Valentine's Day 1987. We had dated off and on all through high school. I was a freshman in college. He was in the Army, stationed at Ft. Bragg and I found out he had been cheating on me from his younger brother. . But it sure felt good pounding his glass ring into a pancake before returning it. Guess that was the beginning of the end for me.....

No, Kindle, that was the beginning of your beginning.

I've always had this theory that I swear to be true:-----most men suffer from "HGS" when it comes to being compassionate and caring of a woman's heart. "HGS" stands for "Hanging Genital Syndrome". It has always occurred to me that when one's genitals hang freely from the body, it causes drag throughout the body--eventually the brain. Dragging of the brain causes cellular damage --leaving one cold hearted and obsessed with one's damage causing hanging parts.

Of course, not all men suffer from this ailment---just those insensitive sods out there in Never Never Land.

@@Valentina that's a great idea! But again, married people get birthday , wedding and anniversary presents...we still get ripped off.

As for Valentine's Day, it hasn't been a biggie for me even when I was dating. The very first love of my life ruined it by getting engaged to someone else on Valentine's Day 1987. We had dated off and on all through high school. I was a freshman in college. He was in the Army, stationed at Ft. Bragg and I found out he had been cheating on me from his younger brother. . But it sure felt good pounding his glass ring into a pancake before returning it. Guess that was the beginning of the end for me.....

No, Kindle, that was the beginning of your beginning. I've always had this theory that I swear to be true:-----most men suffer from "HGS" when it comes to being compassionate and caring of a woman's heart. "HGS" stands for "Hanging Genital Syndrome". It has always occurred to me that when one's genitals hang freely from the body, it causes drag throughout the body--eventually the brain. Dragging of the brain causes cellular damage --leaving one cold hearted and obsessed with one's damage causing hanging parts. Of course, not all men suffer from this ailment---just those insensitive sods out there in Never Never Land.

Lol

But don't get me wrong. I don't dislike men. I'm not a crazy nazi feminist that wants to degrade the male sex. I love men. Some of my best friends are men. Sure, I've been in love and I've had my heart broken. But I've had mostly good relationships and never been emotionally or physically abused. My parents have been great role models, being happily married for almost 55 years.

My disinterest in dating and having a relationship stems directly from the fact I am a non-social, selfish person. I wanna do what I wanna do when I wanna do it. Single means not having to compromise or negotiate. And the fact Is I prefer to be at home alone with my cats or on a trail with my horse and dog rather than interact with people (male or female).

I met my ex-husband in "old fashioned" personals (pre-'Match.com). Yes he is an ex, but I'd say it was a serious relationship with a lot of potential. My brother met his current wife on Match and 8 years later they now have 2 kids.