Or maybe it still is.

So a week ago I joined eHarmony. After a week, there are still NO matches for me within 100 miles. SERIOUSLY??????

I also joined OKCupid. Oyyy. Here's the week's rundown on who has contacted me:

6 guys who claim they are in the army and are deployed overseas. One guy's picture showed him wearing his army uniform incorrectly, and when I called him on it, he said "bye then." One guy who asked me my name (my first name is in my screen name like here). I replied, "Oh c'mon, you know my name." Then when he didn't respond, I said, "I'm losing faith in you, Mr. Smith (the name on his uniform). You know my name. Or is your name really Akwa from Nigeria??" He responded "ok bye". The jury is still out on whether the other 4 are legit or not.

One FBI agent, three Secret Service agents, and one British Intelligence Agent. Of course, NONE of them can really talk about themselves, but will "tell all when we meet". Yeah. Uh huh.

About 25 really bad scammers. Since I used to work for a kink site that had a dating section, I can spot them a mile away. Their messages go like this: "Am John by name. Am kind, am hardworking, am loyal. Seeking for honest woman."

Oh yes, another relatively-new scammer tactic... they use the word TACO in their screen name. Like this: John_taco or Jimbanx_taco. Not sure why they all suddenly think the word "taco" is appropriate.

Another two dozen guys that are looking for someone local (on their profiles) but are a minimum of 1,000 miles away. Not really sure what their deal is.

Two guys that are local to me, and another one 40 miles away. These three I might actually meet. I like the 40-mile guy the most, of course, since that's the one that's the most difficult logistically. For these three, I contacted them first.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the 22 year old who wanted "Mommy-son roleplay." No. Just... no.

Edited January 22, 201610 yr by Sharon1964

@@VSGAnn2014 - my thoughts exactly - hotel room and rental car can also mean a married man working out of town or using a hotel close to home (and close to the wife and 5 babies) and claims car is rental....

Or that he's got electrical tape and a large trunk to throw you into after meeting you in a dark alley . . . yikes!

OK, I have finally stopped laughing. Thank you. I needed a good laugh. --not at your expense, but at the sheer absurdity of the whole online dating scene.

I am late for my therapy appointment (no, your situation did not drive me to it! ), but do I have a story for you!

Just be careful!! When any of us go through this WL process, we become extremely vulnerable. Some how that vulnerability is easy to pick up on. Aren't we all looking for some form of validation and a "soft place to land" ? Be careful and the first time anyone asks you "for a loan, a money gift or some money to prove your commitment", shut that person down and block them immediately.

Be kind to yourself. You've come a long way and deserve to find that "some one special". Take your time, choose selectively---YOU do the cherry pick'n. After all, YOU are the prize, not them.

Take care of your heart just as carefully as you have taken care of your new body.

Keep in touch,

Valentina

@@VSGAnn2014 - my thoughts exactly - hotel room and rental car can also mean a married man working out of town or using a hotel close to home (and close to the wife and 5 babies) and claims car is rental....

Well, I actually did some checking up on him. He works for a corporation that owns a number of nursing homes. He is the nutritional director. He used to work as a chef. They send him home (to Kansas City) every now and then. The stint here was supposed to be short term.

But yeah, I certainly am cynical and leery.

Just be careful!! When any of us go through this WL process, we become extremely vulnerable. Some how that vulnerability is easy to pick up on. Aren't we all looking for some form of validation and a "soft place to land" ? Be careful and the first time anyone asks you "for a loan, a money gift or some money to prove your commitment", shut that person down and block them immediately.

That kink site I said I used to work for? Part of my job was answering support tickets. I can't tell you how many people complained that someone ripped them off. Our stock answer included screen shots that appear at the top of every message they send or receive on the site, in big red letters, DO NOT SEND MONEY TO ANYONE FOR ANY REASON!

I met my hubby thru a dating service. Not an online one - the kind where you go into an office and look thru a binder of people's profiles.

Yeah.... it was a looooong time ago! Lol

Maybe even before online dating sites existed!(?)

Had a few crazies before I found 'the one'

Keep trying Sharon!

Edited January 22, 201610 yr by heather5565

@Sharon1964 I laughed when you said eHarmony had no matches. That's the biggest laugh between my husband and me. We met 10+ years ago on eHarmony. I "lied" on my profile to say I was already divorced because I knew I wasn't getting back with my ex. That was the only false bit of info in my profile - and I was totally upfront immediately when matched. My husband is another story. He filled out his profile and waited patiently for a match. Only to be told there wasn't one. So he didn't check back for weeks. Nothing. A few weeks after that, one match. Me. We are absolutely 100% compatible. I could NOT imagine my life without him in it and he says the same of me. There is a science to it -- so don't let it get you down. I found it a much better site than any others at the time. Maybe the one match you get in the future is the one you've been dreaming about.

Now for the other stories, how crazy. I can't believe some people fall for some of those profiles. Jeez.

The truth is that most of the men on the dating sites and many of the women are just looking to hook up and they are just looking for Ms. Right Now, not Ms. Right.

Those not looking for a quickie are looking to rip off your life savings, they don't care if they ruin your life

But I have an interesting story too.

When I was 45 I went middle aged crazy, lost a lot of weight and as someone mentioned above I really needed someone to tell me I was special and pretty etc....

I tried some free online sites and then heard about the Phone line service where men and women could call and leave a recorded profile and then you could listen to the profiles of others in their own voice and if you liked them you could leave them a message and so on. Well, I placed my profile and got several messages and it was interesting and fun because it was free and I had nothing else to do.

The problem is that I begin to weed these guys out and realized pretty fast that the majority just wanted a sexual hookup.

Some were down right scary, a few were normal guys that I actually met but they just weren't for me. They were either much older than they said, much uglier than they said, or more married than they said.

HOWEVER, just as I was about to give up on that service I got a very short message from a gentleman that actually sounded like a nice guy and I decided to take a chance and meet him. We decided to meet at IHOP and he came up on his Harley complete with doo-rag and I was think.....awww hell no I'm no cycle mama.

He came in and introduced himself and he wasn't a stunner but kind of sweet looking. He was skinny, I outweighed him by 50lbs even then. His wife had died of cancer the year before and he was about to head off on a motorcycle trip for a few days.

Anyway, we had breakfast I really enjoyed the time and I thought he did too, we were there for probably 2 hours. When he left I went home and realized I had a nice time and a free Breakfast so it was worth the morning anyway. About 4 days later I got a call from him asking me out and I said yes. We went to a flea market and out to lunch and again had a good time. We spent much of that day together.

Within 2 weeks I knew I wanted this guy in my life. That was 1997 -we became exclusive and a year later I moved in with him. 2 Years later we were married and we have now been married for 15 years. This guy is a prince, he is kind and supportive and caring and has a fabulous sense of humor which is a blessing because I am KARAZY. I love him to pieces and he treats me better than I deserve.

The funny part of this whole deal is that after we moved in together I was reading an article in the paper and they mentioned this service as a PHONE SEX LINE! LOL That answered a lot of niggling questions about the weirdos that left messages. Apparently even though it was free for women, the men had to pay by the MINUTE and my husband never knew that either because he had used it on a free promotion just to try to meet a nice woman. If you knew my hubby you would know he was being truthful.

All I can say is that GOD was watching over me.

I've been meeting guys online for nearly 10 years. I did have some relationships with guys I met there. Two lasted 3 years, and one a year.

The first two didn't last because they had money problems. The one that lasted a year is a great guy. We just have nothing in common. We are still friends.

I did correspond with many, many losers too.

I had the same experience with E Harmony sending me people who lived across the country.

I keep my profile on POF and OK Cupid hidden and do some searching when I am in the mood. I live in the middle of nowhere, so unless I want to move, there is nobody for me, at least not right now. Maybe somebody new will sign up.

Right now I am just enjoying my friends and trying not to worry that I'll be alone the rest of my life.

Oh yeah I got a bunch of losers. A LOT of 18 - 20 yr old boys wanted a cougar. No thanks!

Oooo...give em my phone number....as long as they have a car to drive themselves home when I'm done with them.

Oh yeah I got a bunch of losers. A LOT of 18 - 20 yr old boys wanted a cougar. No thanks!

Oooo...give em my phone number....as long as they have a car to drive themselves home when I'm done with them.

If they don't have a car you could always call 911 to carry his carcass away---or should you call "Animal Control"???

Sigh...I don't want to make you jealous but "The ONE" only went on one date on Match.com and it was with me. That was four wonderful months ago. Now on my side of the ledger, I dealt with many first and only dates...several 'serious' relationship et.al. Its all a crap shoot. So enjoy. At worse you get some cool stories. At best, you get The One. (and she is spectacular).

@@Sharon1964 you have a GREAT personality!!!! Be patient. I know, easy for me to say. I feel like on those sites it is a numbers game. Keep scrolling!!!!!!

Sigh...I don't want to make you jealous but "The ONE" only went on one date on Match.com and it was with me. That was four wonderful months ago. Now on my side of the ledger, I dealt with many first and only dates...several 'serious' relationship et.al. Its all a crap shoot. So enjoy. At worse you get some cool stories. At best, you get The One. (and she is spectacular).

SH'UP YOU!

Oh yeah I got a bunch of losers. A LOT of 18 - 20 yr old boys wanted a cougar. No thanks!

Oooo...give em my phone number....as long as they have a car to drive themselves home when I'm done with them.

Lol! Sorry a bit late now. That was a few years ago and not sure how I'd explain to my husband I am back on dating sites to get the details of 20 year olds!

Edited January 23, 201610 yr by Paula'sVSGLife