Or maybe it still is.

So a week ago I joined eHarmony. After a week, there are still NO matches for me within 100 miles. SERIOUSLY??????

I also joined OKCupid. Oyyy. Here's the week's rundown on who has contacted me:

6 guys who claim they are in the army and are deployed overseas. One guy's picture showed him wearing his army uniform incorrectly, and when I called him on it, he said "bye then." One guy who asked me my name (my first name is in my screen name like here). I replied, "Oh c'mon, you know my name." Then when he didn't respond, I said, "I'm losing faith in you, Mr. Smith (the name on his uniform). You know my name. Or is your name really Akwa from Nigeria??" He responded "ok bye". The jury is still out on whether the other 4 are legit or not.

One FBI agent, three Secret Service agents, and one British Intelligence Agent. Of course, NONE of them can really talk about themselves, but will "tell all when we meet". Yeah. Uh huh.

About 25 really bad scammers. Since I used to work for a kink site that had a dating section, I can spot them a mile away. Their messages go like this: "Am John by name. Am kind, am hardworking, am loyal. Seeking for honest woman."

Oh yes, another relatively-new scammer tactic... they use the word TACO in their screen name. Like this: John_taco or Jimbanx_taco. Not sure why they all suddenly think the word "taco" is appropriate.

Another two dozen guys that are looking for someone local (on their profiles) but are a minimum of 1,000 miles away. Not really sure what their deal is.

Two guys that are local to me, and another one 40 miles away. These three I might actually meet. I like the 40-mile guy the most, of course, since that's the one that's the most difficult logistically. For these three, I contacted them first.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the 22 year old who wanted "Mommy-son roleplay." No. Just... no.

Edited January 22, 201610 yr by Sharon1964

Yeah, teeth would be a requirement for me -- either original equipment or dentures, doesn't matter.

Yep, me too. Must haves:

• teeth that look reasonably good (not all broken off) and brushes them regularly
• no anger issues
• a job
• ability to laugh together
• regular showers and wears deodorant

The rest is a matter of temperament, personality and chemistry.

I'd rather go surf fish'n!

Well I actually met a nice guy yesterday.

The one I met the day before was a disaster. I broke my rule of only meeting for coffee so I can get away quickly if necessary. This guy was coming from pretty far away to go and camp at this Yurt on the beach in a town a half an hour from me.He claimed to be a photographer but he showed me a portfolio of his work and it was terrible. My brother is a professional photographer. I agreed to meet him for lunch and take separate cars to the beach. He wanted to meet at taco bell. He talked with his mouth full and food was drooling out of his mouth. It was gross.

He is very intelligent though, but has no social skills. He's very much an introvert. I can talk to anyone and had a really hard time talking to him. I did the thing everyone talks about on their profile. "Would like to walk on the beach" We walked on the beach, then sat on a rock and gazed at the ocean. Luckily the scenery is gorgeous. Then I said my daughter had texted me and needed me to pick up my grandson at daycare and left as quickly as I could.

Still lik'n the surf fishing idea!

I met a guy through Match, and we decided on our first date. He lives 2 hours away, so we decided to meet half way. We met at a restaurant for lunch and then we were going to go kayaking. We ordered lunch, and our food came. He started to eat his lunch, and said "this is never going to work." Then he took his teeth out and set them on the table. He covered them up with his napkin. He looked really weird without his teeth, and I could barely look at him.

I can't get the picture of him without his teeth and his dentures on the table out of my mind. . My dad used to do the same thing and it annoyed the heck out of me, but he was 90 years old. This guy is 65, a year and a half older than me.

Honestly, do people not know what manners are?

@@Oregondaisy

Did you go kayaking or did you say, "you're right, this is never going to work" and leave?

These sites should have a filter for men with teeth, like they do for smoking and body type, etc.

@oregondaisy... Reading about your recent experience makes all my online dates look much better... Well except for the time I met the guy who was in jail, work release actually..,

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them"

Einstein

I met a guy through Match, and we decided on our first date. He lives 2 hours away, so we decided to meet half way. We met at a restaurant for lunch and then we were going to go kayaking. We ordered lunch, and our food came. He started to eat his lunch, and said "this is never going to work." Then he took his teeth out and set them on the table. He covered them up with his napkin. He looked really weird without his teeth, and I could barely look at him.

I can't get the picture of him without his teeth and his dentures on the table out of my mind. . My dad used to do the same thing and it annoyed the heck out of me, but he was 90 years old. This guy is 65, a year and a half older than me.

Honestly, do people not know what manners are?

OMG... You poor thing!!!!!! I'm so sorry, but I cannot stop laughing! This really happened? On a first date? He took out his teeth? And you drove two hours?

I have to know- did you guys to kayaking?

Heeeeeee!!!!! That is the best example I have ever read about NO MANNERS. I feel so bad that you had this happen but wow, what a great story.

Maybe you can be up front with future guys and totally cut to the chase- "if you are going to take your chompers out at the table on our first date please stop talking to me NOW."

You rock for sharing this. I wish your the best with your journey and search for Mr. Right. :)

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Or maybe it still is.

So a week ago I joined eHarmony. After a week, there are still NO matches for me within 100 miles. SERIOUSLY??????

I also joined OKCupid. Oyyy. Here's the week's rundown on who has contacted me:

6 guys who claim they are in the army and are deployed overseas. One guy's picture showed him wearing his army uniform incorrectly, and when I called him on it, he said "bye then." One guy who asked me my name (my first name is in my screen name like here). I replied, "Oh c'mon, you know my name." Then when he didn't respond, I said, "I'm losing faith in you, Mr. Smith (the name on his uniform). You know my name. Or is your name really Akwa from Nigeria??" He responded "ok bye". The jury is still out on whether the other 4 are legit or not.

One FBI agent, three Secret Service agents, and one British Intelligence Agent. Of course, NONE of them can really talk about themselves, but will "tell all when we meet". Yeah. Uh huh.

About 25 really bad scammers. Since I used to work for a kink site that had a dating section, I can spot them a mile away. Their messages go like this: "Am John by name. Am kind, am hardworking, am loyal. Seeking for honest woman."

Oh yes, another relatively-new scammer tactic... they use the word TACO in their screen name. Like this: John_taco or Jimbanx_taco. Not sure why they all suddenly think the word "taco" is appropriate.

Another two dozen guys that are looking for someone local (on their profiles) but are a minimum of 1,000 miles away. Not really sure what their deal is.

Two guys that are local to me, and another one 40 miles away. These three I might actually meet. I like the 40-mile guy the most, of course, since that's the one that's the most difficult logistically. For these three, I contacted them first.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the 22 year old who wanted "Mommy-son roleplay." No. Just... no.

Lol omg you cracked me up! I got so tired of dealing with jackass married men looking to cheat, I deleted mine!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G870A using the BariatricPal App

Oh it gets even better. I told him on the phone what he did really bothered me.

So, I decided to give him one more chance. Today, I drove to his town, yes 2 hours away, and we were going to go kayaking again. I get there, and he has no teeth. Finally, I asked him where his teeth were, and he said "in the truck"

After kayaking, he tried to kiss me and I pushed him away, so he only got a peck. then he told me to call him later. I waited about half an hour and sent him a text that I wasn't going to call him, because we aren't a match, and that's why I didn't want to kiss him! and then I added "good luck with your search"

I call eharmony ecousin because it matched me with my cousin. I met my wonderful, beautiful, klutz of a wife on match.com. We will be married 8 years on the 21st.

Oregondaisy, where are you from? I'm in Grants Pass.

I'm in Coos Bay/North Bend

This guy lives in Eugene. Nobody lives here.

I'm in Coos Bay/North Bend

This guy lives in Eugene. Nobody lives here.

Sounds familiar! I used to ride in the dunes a lot back in 2000-2005. I've spent quite a bit of time in your neck of the woods. We did the loop through Brookings and Coos on Sunday escaping the heat over here,

@@Valentina that's a great idea! But again, married people get birthday , wedding and anniversary presents...we still get ripped off.

As for Valentine's Day, it hasn't been a biggie for me even when I was dating. The very first love of my life ruined it by getting engaged to someone else on Valentine's Day 1987. We had dated off and on all through high school. I was a freshman in college. He was in the Army, stationed at Ft. Bragg and I found out he had been cheating on me from his younger brother. . But it sure felt good pounding his glass ring into a pancake before returning it. Guess that was the beginning of the end for me.....

No, Kindle, that was the beginning of your beginning.

I've always had this theory that I swear to be true:-----most men suffer from "HGS" when it comes to being compassionate and caring of a woman's heart. "HGS" stands for "Hanging Genital Syndrome". It has always occurred to me that when one's genitals hang freely from the body, it causes drag throughout the body--eventually the brain. Dragging of the brain causes cellular damage --leaving one cold hearted and obsessed with one's damage causing hanging parts.

Of course, not all men suffer from this ailment---just those insensitive sods out there in Never Never Land.

God told Adam I have some good news and some bad...the good news is I am going to give you a brain and a penis. The bad news is I can only give you

enough blood to operate one at a time