Back in the Game Again

[bellabloom 2,469]

I'll know what I want when I see it.

[Katnroyal 225]

I would focus on myslef and find something I like doing and then hope to meet someone that way, with similar interests!

[OKCPirate 5,323]

Umm, true confession, while I told myself I was looking for love at the beginning of the year (after some very significant weight loss) I think I was really just looking for fun. I found it. Every first date ended up with great sex. I didn't really calm down and finish sowing all the wild oats until August. You may be resisting because you want the affirmation. I think that's what I wanted (at least for a season). Not trying to knock you off stride and I am certainly not one to judge, but be open to that idea.

OKC Pirate....say whaaaaaat? Do men really expect a woman to put out on a first date? Does a man even want a long-term relationship with a woman who puts out on every first date? I sense a Mars / Venus issue here.

Not expected by me for sure. (And certainly not by them either)

[OKCPirate 5,323]

I'm finally done with tons of work travel, spring break with daughter, and bronchitis (thanks to living in pollen central).

@@bellabloom - How is your search going now?

For the record I crunched my Match.com numbers from last year:

I sent 149 emails via their site

I received 61 back

15 coffee dates

6 real dates

3 multiple dates

1 possible match that had to be aborted because there were still issues to be resolved post divorce*

* but this is where it got interesting and how the universe can work for you in ways you don't know.

I had several lady friends I was dating, but not seriously. Some were just physical. Well I broke up this when I met this lady with the issues, because I sensed something special after a few dates. Well, it turns out she has really bad Borderline Personality issues. Opps, and I had broke up with everyone (UGH, back to square one!)

BUT, the very next date "She" showed up and we have been going out for the last eight months and it keeps getting better every time we go out. It wasn't "boom" it was a slow, mature growth in the relationship. But what I marvel at is how the whole dating field was cleared out the week before we met. There were no distractions at that moment.

Things have progressed that She went with me and my daughter to Chicago for Spring Break. Even my 16 year old daughter said "wow I really like her, don't screw this up Dad." Now this is the first women I have ever introduced my daughter to, let alone traveled with.

Moral of the story - it's work, it is providence, its a numbers game. Or in my girlfriend's case, a complete accident. I'm the only person she reached out to on Match. I'm it. The only person she's dated since leaving her marriage. If she wasn't so emotionally stable, I'd be worried, but I'm just not in the least.

Hope this is encouraging.