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I didn't think that I had a hernia. I was sure that I didn't but the doctor insisted that most people at least have a small one. When they scoped my stomach, they were able to find a small one.

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Remember back in the day, if you didn't have the money for something, you were just sh*t outta luck?

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I appreciate you feeling that way, but have cut everything that we can cut. I'm not saying that in the next five years we couldn't save the $21,000 that we would need to save, but there are people out there willing to help and donate. We don't live outside of our means at all. But not everyone that is looking for help is looking for a "handout"

Would you consider going to Mexico to have the surgery performed since it costs less there?

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I appreciate you feeling that way, but have cut everything that we can cut. I'm not saying that in the next five years we couldn't save the $21,000 that we would need to save, but there are people out there willing to help and donate. We don't live outside of our means at all. But not everyone that is looking for help is looking for a "handout"

Would you consider going to Mexico to have the surgery performed since it costs less there?

I did actually! I loved the idea then as soon as my family found out they freaked and my husband totally shut it down

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I didn't think that I had a hernia. I was sure that I didn't but the doctor insisted that most people at least have a small one. When they scoped my stomach, they were able to find a small one.

I second this. Had no idea I had a hiatal hernia until they opened me up to do the sleeve. They say most overweight people have one.

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Remember back in the day, if you didn't have the money for something, you were just sh*t outta luck?

Yes.

Reminds me of this article I just read

http://nyti.ms/1WCZ4kT

As someone with the keen observational skills of Mr. Magoo, it took me a long time to notice a problem social-media acquaintances had been talking about for months.

“I woke up to four new people today asking me for money on four different donation platforms,” one friend said. “One was my ex-babysitter announcing her wedding and where I could send cash. No invitation to the wedding. Just cash.”

“I’m a believer in giving to real charities: medical research, school drives, the Red Cross, et cetera,” said Heidi Knodle, owner of a picture framing store in San Francisco. “I’m tired of people asking for a vacation, funds for a wedding or their college tuition.”

The crime writer Mark Ebner, whose mailboxes have been increasingly filled with monetary requests, has a theory about it all. “I think online begging has become the new economy.”

I thought my friends were exaggerating. After all, a visit to GoFundMe or YouCaringyields site after site of worthy donation recipients. People whose homes were wiped out by natural disasters. People with diseases I’d never heard of, with no insurance and staggering medical expenses. Kids trying to pay for their parents’ funerals. Parents with seriously ill children wanting a trip to Disney World, and sick animals owned by people who couldn’t afford the vet bills.

One man had set up a fund for a friend who needed to take a couple of months off while his wife died of brain cancer.

But then, there were others. Many, many others. Education funds are great, but do I really want to pay for a friend to travel to Peru to become a shaman?

Should the woman who has lost a lot of weight (good for you!) ask her friends to pay for $2,500 worth of laser skin tightening? What about the girl seeking $600 for her “personal development journey”? (Not much to ask, but she was so beautiful, I didn’t understand why she didn’t develop herself into a model and make a whole lot more than that.)

......Here’s the question I can’t stop asking myself: Has social media made our craving for attention and validation overwhelm all other considerations? There is nothing new about asking your friends for help (remember rent parties?), but that help was confined to a small group of people you actually knew.

Now, no such boundaries exist. Your 4,000 Facebook friends should know if you can’t pay your rent — or your plastic surgery bill. And who knows? They may just pay up.

There was a time when there were needs, and there were wants, and we knew the difference. Now?

Now I’m not so sure."

People need to stop begging friends and family for money unless it is a life and death emergency.

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CareCredit is a financing option. Obviously borrowing is never ideal but it's better than a traditional credit card. It is not a revolving card. One time interest and you choose your repayment terms. More like a car loan. Best of luck

Not necessarily. My credit card has a lower rate than Care Credit, and if I can pay it off sooner, I will pay even less interest.

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Remember back in the day, if you didn't have the money for something, you were just sh*t outta luck?

Yes.

Reminds me of this article I just readhttp://nyti.ms/1WCZ4kT

As someone with the keen observational skills of Mr. Magoo, it took me a long time to notice a problem social-media acquaintances had been talking about for months.

“I woke up to four new people today asking me for money on four different donation platforms,” one friend said. “One was my ex-babysitter announcing her wedding and where I could send cash. No invitation to the wedding. Just cash.”

“I’m a believer in giving to real charities: medical research, school drives, the Red Cross, et cetera,” said Heidi Knodle, owner of a picture framing store in San Francisco. “I’m tired of people asking for a vacation, funds for a wedding or their college tuition.”

The crime writer Mark Ebner, whose mailboxes have been increasingly filled with monetary requests, has a theory about it all. “I think online begging has become the new economy.”

I thought my friends were exaggerating. After all, a visit to GoFundMe or YouCaringyields site after site of worthy donation recipients. People whose homes were wiped out by natural disasters. People with diseases I’d never heard of, with no insurance and staggering medical expenses. Kids trying to pay for their parents’ funerals. Parents with seriously ill children wanting a trip to Disney World, and sick animals owned by people who couldn’t afford the vet bills.

One man had set up a fund for a friend who needed to take a couple of months off while his wife died of brain cancer.

But then, there were others. Many, many others. Education funds are great, but do I really want to pay for a friend to travel to Peru to become a shaman?

Should the woman who has lost a lot of weight (good for you!) ask her friends to pay for $2,500 worth of laser skin tightening? What about the girl seeking $600 for her “personal development journey”? (Not much to ask, but she was so beautiful, I didn’t understand why she didn’t develop herself into a model and make a whole lot more than that.)

......Here’s the question I can’t stop asking myself: Has social media made our craving for attention and validation overwhelm all other considerations? There is nothing new about asking your friends for help (remember rent parties?), but that help was confined to a small group of people you actually knew.

Now, no such boundaries exist. Your 4,000 Facebook friends should know if you can’t pay your rent — or your plastic surgery bill. And who knows? They may just pay up.

There was a time when there were needs, and there were wants, and we knew the difference. Now?

Now I’m not so sure."

People need to stop begging friends and family for money unless it is a life and death emergency.

Great post and great article. This has been bothering me for a while.

I mean, not to be cruel, but why does everyone else have to pay for your loved ones funeral? It used to be a family obligation. And if your house or business has brunt down, isn't that what insurance is for?

There are definitely a few legitimate reasons. A few. But it's gone WAY overboard.

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Have you considered Mexico? I borrowed from my 403b to pay for my surgery. Obviously its instant approval and I pay myself back.

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Things are different now. Most people, regardless of how fiscally responsible they are, will never be able to afford these things.

No doubt about it-- social media is changing us. The way we relate, how we teach and learn, how we bank, even how we think. I don't view it as better or worse, just different. Maybe it's my stubborn refusal to become the cranky "when I was a kid!" lady. :-)

Nobody is forcing you to donate. If it's not a worthy cause to you, move along. :-)

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Things are different now. Most people, regardless of how fiscally responsible they are, will never be able to afford these things.

No doubt about it-- social media is changing us. The way we relate, how we teach and learn, how we bank, even how we think. I don't view it as better or worse, just different. Maybe it's my stubborn refusal to become the cranky "when I was a kid!" lady. :-)

Nobody is forcing you to donate. If it's not a worthy cause to you, move along. :-)

And if you can't afford it, maybe you shouldn't be buying it or begging for money to buy it and realize that sometimes we can't all get what we want?

But that's just crazy talk.

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I've never been a fan of gofundme.

There are places in the US you can get cheaper than $21K - I paid $11K for a great doctor in Las Vegas (flights are cheap, hotels are cheap and he's a well respected doctor with lots of experience). I think he's actually cheaper now.

If you go to the self-pay forum on this site you may be able to find something more reasonable.

Best of luck to you.

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Remember back in the day, if you didn't have the money for something, you were just sh*t outta luck?

Yes.

Reminds me of this article I just read

http://nyti.ms/1WCZ4kT

As someone with the keen observational skills of Mr. Magoo, it took me a long time to notice a problem social-media acquaintances had been talking about for months.

“I woke up to four new people today asking me for money on four different donation platforms,” one friend said. “One was my ex-babysitter announcing her wedding and where I could send cash. No invitation to the wedding. Just cash.”

“I’m a believer in giving to real charities: medical research, school drives, the Red Cross, et cetera,” said Heidi Knodle, owner of a picture framing store in San Francisco. “I’m tired of people asking for a vacation, funds for a wedding or their college tuition.”

The crime writer Mark Ebner, whose mailboxes have been increasingly filled with monetary requests, has a theory about it all. “I think online begging has become the new economy.”

I thought my friends were exaggerating. After all, a visit to GoFundMe or YouCaringyields site after site of worthy donation recipients. People whose homes were wiped out by natural disasters. People with diseases I’d never heard of, with no insurance and staggering medical expenses. Kids trying to pay for their parents’ funerals. Parents with seriously ill children wanting a trip to Disney World, and sick animals owned by people who couldn’t afford the vet bills.

One man had set up a fund for a friend who needed to take a couple of months off while his wife died of brain cancer.

But then, there were others. Many, many others. Education funds are great, but do I really want to pay for a friend to travel to Peru to become a shaman?

Should the woman who has lost a lot of weight (good for you!) ask her friends to pay for $2,500 worth of laser skin tightening? What about the girl seeking $600 for her “personal development journey”? (Not much to ask, but she was so beautiful, I didn’t understand why she didn’t develop herself into a model and make a whole lot more than that.)

......Here’s the question I can’t stop asking myself: Has social media made our craving for attention and validation overwhelm all other considerations? There is nothing new about asking your friends for help (remember rent parties?), but that help was confined to a small group of people you actually knew.

Now, no such boundaries exist. Your 4,000 Facebook friends should know if you can’t pay your rent — or your plastic surgery bill. And who knows? They may just pay up.

There was a time when there were needs, and there were wants, and we knew the difference. Now?

Now I’m not so sure."

People need to stop begging friends and family for money unless it is a life and death emergency.

you are definitely entitled to your own opinion

I've never been a fan of gofundme.

There are places in the US you can get cheaper than $21K - I paid $11K for a great doctor in Las Vegas (flights are cheap, hotels are cheap and he's a well respected doctor with lots of experience). I think he's actually cheaper now.

If you go to the self-pay forum on this site you may be able to find something more reasonable.

Best of luck to you.

thank you so much!

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Things are different now. Most people, regardless of how fiscally responsible they are, will never be able to afford these things.

No doubt about it-- social media is changing us. The way we relate, how we teach and learn, how we bank, even how we think. I don't view it as better or worse, just different. Maybe it's my stubborn refusal to become the cranky "when I was a kid!" lady. :-)

Nobody is forcing you to donate. If it's not a worthy cause to you, move along. :-)

thanks doll

Things are different now. Most people, regardless of how fiscally responsible they are, will never be able to afford these things.

No doubt about it-- social media is changing us. The way we relate, how we teach and learn, how we bank, even how we think. I don't view it as better or worse, just different. Maybe it's my stubborn refusal to become the cranky "when I was a kid!" lady. :-)

Nobody is forcing you to donate. If it's not a worthy cause to you, move along. :-)

And if you can't afford it, maybe you shouldn't be buying it or begging for money to buy it and realize that sometimes we can't all get what we want?

But that's just crazy talk.

did you pay for yours on your own? I assume you have had it done

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If you are serious about this then reopen discussion about Mexico. There are reputable businesses down there that do a great job. I had mine done in Tijuana in October and don't regret an instant of it. The surgery was $4600 and all inclusive except for the flights to San Deigo. I am hoping to convince my sister to have it done in the coming year.

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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