Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

What did you tell people about your absence?



Recommended Posts

Please excuse if this is a stupid question, I am still working at getting my head around all of this. ???? And I am hoping someone has struggled with same.

Ok, I get that I can't untell anybody at work and I understand the wisdom of that stance. Truth is, I am generally very quiet at work and I don't talk to my larger work family about lots of personal business. My supervisor who is also a dear friend knows all about my plans and she agrees its nobody's business but mine.

I plan to say simply that I have changed my diet and increased activity to explain the wt loss. But, when people are out of work, it's always a topic of conversation - even if you don't want it to be. What are you doing while off, where did you go, etc. Compounded by the fact that I am rarely out of work. I plan to take about a week and 1/2 and in over ten years, I have never been out of work that long.

How have other people explained their absence without creating some big lie? ????

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have bladder issue so I said I was having bladder surgery to help with my continued pain. That also covered why I had to change my diet. I know a litte but not far fetched.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I work with mostly men....so if asked..."girlie stuff". Easy way to drop that subject. :) Good luck everyone!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Difficult too that we work around a lot of doctors and nurses, most in my little section are not, but there are lots of them around here!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told them I went to Mexico for surgery.

"What kind of surgery?"

It's called vertical sleeve gastrectomy where they remove 80% of your stomach. I did it to help me lose weight.

Easy answer....no big lie.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a hernia repair along with my sleeve surgery so I just told people at work that I had hernia surgery and left it at that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I plan on telling them. But I prefer to tell them afterwards.

I work in a hospital full of medical professionals who will figure it out lol. I have a few co-workers who I am SURE got it done but I don't ask because I know it's a taboo thing and quite frankly their medical history is none of my business.

Therefore your medical history is none of theirs. BUT people are not stupid. These surgeries are becoming a lot more common and whether you want to share or not they will figure it out. If you are uncomfortable with a big lie then tell the truth. You may be saving someone else's life ????

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I also took 10 days off. Just told people had vacation time to take so I didn't lies it at end of year and was just doing staycation to take care of things I usually don't have time for. I was "dieting" before surgery, and they still think I am, so nothing said about weight loss.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'll have to give the whole thing some thought and appreciate the feedback.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am considering having the gastric sleeve. Appointment is in two weeks. I have already thought about what I would say to friends and family. That I am having my gall bladder out as your diet has to change No fatty food for instance plus you do loose weight for this operation..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told my immediate team and close friends at work. I'm not ashamed of it, but I didn't want to hear the stories from medical experts of someone they know who died, or had complications etc. When I return, I'll be happy to share why I was out! I am taking 5 weeks off.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Who cares what anybody thinks. We all did the surgery to help us lose weight. I tell everyone and am amazed how many people have friends or relatives who have done it and have heard so many success stories. Its not something to be ashamed of. I am only 9 days post op and am loving it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@dietbelle be careful about telling that particular lie unless you have already had your gall bladder out. Many wls patients end up having their gall bladders out in the first year after surgery due to rapid weight loss. If that happens to you, you'll either have to pile another lie on top of the first, or come clean.

IMO (and this is for everyone, not just @@dietbelle) If you don't want to tell people exactly what you are doing, don't. If people ask why you were away from work, or you tell someone in advance, just say you are taking/took some personal time off. If they ask why or what for, just repeat "personal time off" and add emphasis to personal.

If they know you had surgery but you don't want to disclose what kind of surgery, say something like "gosh, that's really personal" or "I'm afraid I'd embarrass us both terribly if I went into the gory details" -- let them think you're getting anal fissures repaired or something like that.

For me, I never just say "exercise and eating less" when someone asks about weight loss. There is so much stigma around weight loss surgery, I want to try to remove some of that. All people know are third-hand horror stories. Furthermore, so many people believe that it should be possible just to diet away 100+ lbs. I don't want to feed into that misperception. And, I really don't care what people think about my medical choices, if they don't like it, they can step off.

All that said, I've told everyone who asked, and I only got one negative reaction. People may be more supportive and open-minded than you are anticipating. I also knew that if I fudged the truth and said I was losing weight just by eating less and exercising more, people would eventually figure it out and regard me as a dishonest person. My reputation and relationships are invaluable to me -- I don't care what people think about my medical choices, but I absolutely do care about what people think about my character. I don't want to ever be seen as sneaky or less than honest in any way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×