The "You don't need WLS" talk

[IJustWant2BeALoser 38]

Have any of you opened up to anyone about having WLS and have them tell you "you don't need that!" or "why aren't you trying to lose it on your own?".

It has been so frustrating. I have always been curvy, but the past two years my curves have gone to blobs of fat. I play indoor soccer and hit the gym a couple times a week and I would not see any difference. Luckily when I started my new job, the insurance covered WLS and I immediately made an appointment with a surgeon.

My surgeon sent me for a psych eval and one of the first things the psychologist told me was "you don't even look like you need WLS!".....um lady I am over 300lbs lol.

so now I am at the point that I am keeping it a secret from everyone but my parents. my own siblings don't know. I guess I am worried about the judgement from people who just don't understand the struggle of losing and maintaining a weight loss. I already know I am in for a real struggle, I LOVE FOOD! but I love myself more, I want to be able to fit in an airplane seat comfortably and NOT have to ask for the seatbelt extender! I have a trip to Disney planned next November and if I am successful with this new beginning I should be have an AWESOME TIME!

I am not looking at the surgery to do the work for me, I am looking at the surgery to kickstart me into working to lose and keep the weight off. I just wish people understood that

SORRY FOR MY RANT!!! Having a tough day with all the Pre Surgery Requirements

[Babbs 14,681]

Every single one of us has heard it. Even from so called "medical professionals".

Most people are woefully misinformed about WLS. They rely on gossip and hearsay. If you want to deal with the ignorant and misinformed and wish to educate them, by all means tell people. If not, don't say a word.

I used to tell anyone who would listen. Now at 15 months out, I frankly am tired of having to explain myself to people I barely know, so I just omit the fact when someone asks how I lost the weight. All of my friends and family know, and have been nothing by supportive because I think they know better, lol.

Like I said, the choice is yours. I found telling friends and family was a motivator for me to get to goal and stay there. Not everyone feels that way, and that's cool. You do you.

Good luck with your upcoming surgery!

[IncredibleShrinkingMan 437]

Indoor soccer rocks...my winter 4 on 4 league starts tonight

Two different therapists will never see another dime from me (or a minute of conversation either) because they claimed that counseling would work better than surgery. One of them also claimed that counseling would be better than taking my meds (for anxiety and depression). While I did not give either one a second look, the one who criticized the surgery currently bears the brunt of my anger. I don't think it's entirely coincidental that I now see an overweight therapist who has thought about the surgery himself.

I have been lucky to have had a pretty supportive general response pre-op. My best friend cannot be counted in that group, but since I went ahead with it she has been invaluable to me and incredibly loyal, as well as positive towards the surgery.

Slight NSV today...albeit humiliating...I was told by HR I need new pants because I've lost too much weight...and a new belt. The reprimand was followed by a suggestion that WLS was not a good idea. I went from scared to just plain weirded out.

[livvsmum 2,370]

When I was first starting the pre-op process my mom tried for the entire 8 months leading up to surgery to convince me that I didn't need it. "Why don't you try a diet??" Ummmmmm....jee.....hadn't thought of that. Lol. Since I had the surgery and have had such amazing results, I haven't heard a peep from her since :-) Funny how that works. In fact now she's telling my sister she should have it.

Just stay true to what you think is best for you. It sounds like you are already on the right path by realizing that the surgery is not going to fix everything, but will give you a tool to help you on your journey to get healthy. Good luck to you!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Good for you!

I told only my husband and two friends. Frankly, 16 months later, I think that telling the friends was pretty unnecessary, too.

My family / friends are all pretty fit / normal / healthy, and a few of them had even made critical comments in previous years about WLS. I thought, who needs the bother.

I have to say that the support I've had from my husbad, my surgeon's office, my shrink, and online WLS boards and friends has been much more than sufficient.

I feel completely supported in this journey. Social media works!

[dlappjr 467]

I was worried about this happening so I limited who I told, however, I still got this from one family member. That family member, my Wife's Sister, is also morbidly obese. I put it to her like this: At what point is enough, enough? I need to get healthy right now. I am diabetic, have high blood pressure, high cholesterol. I can't barely walk more than a half mile, I have a little girl who needs her daddy. I get no extra credit for how I lose the weight, I just need to lose it. You can decide if the surgery is not for you. You can keep going to seminars and Tony Robbins all you want. We will see how I do with my decision and see how you do with yours. Maybe I will be the success story that will change your mind.

Your comment about not letting the surgery work for you is spot on. Everyone says it, and you hear it from all of the doctors and support staff. This is a tool, blah blah blah. But its absolutely true. This surgery does not wake you up at 4:15 to get Protein in so you can work out from 5-6am. It doesn't make you pick the right foods when you are out, or with a group of friends. It does not count your calories and it most certainly does not tell you not to put bad things in your mouth.

Congrats on making this decision and for putting in the effort to learn and plan and put yourself in the best chance for success.

[Pillar2butterfly 391]

@IJustWant2BeALoser Welcome! There is no right or wrong answer as to who should you tell. We all are different. I personally only told my husband, kids, and best friend....and all were supportive. I've since told all those that have asked...if they just say "you look great" and don't ask, i just say "thanks, I feel great!"

Only you can answer who should you tell. We have all heard the stories like you mention....don't let it discourage you. We are all here for you....

[IJustWant2BeALoser 38]

THANK YOU GUYS! I am literally sitting at my desk at work, tearing up a little bit reading all of your comments! I have definitely found HUGE SUPPORT since joining the online forums.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Just wait ... we'll piss you off soon enough

Seriously, you can do this. Folks here are working their patooties off and, for the most part, making WLS work for them.