Feel so unsupported

[heartofthetinman 31]

I have tried to tell them but they are so ignorant. They just refuse to listen. I'm nervous about surgery anywhere and it is really starting to wear me down.

I've done my research and am not worried about Mexico I think what scares me most (and always has) is going under anesthesia.

[RuralNurse 48]

I do this surgeries everyday and we have much more experience than most doctors in the US.

When I first began to look into this surgery I went to the class that my hospital provides and to meet the surgeons. I found out that because I do not have diabetes my insurance won't pay for it so I began to look at alternatives. As a nurse I pay close attention to medical issues. I read about the surgeons in Mexico and they do perform this way more often than the 2 surgeons that do it at the hospital where I work.

I had eye surgery in Canada years ago because it was cheaper and when I got there and met the surgeon I found out he TAUGHT the surgeons in my state (Montana) how to do this new procedure. And he did the surgery every day, not just a few times per month.

Yes we have great medical care int he U.S. (if you can afford it) but that does not mean our hospitals are the only place to get good and safe care. I have not one fear about my choice to go to Mexico except the normal fear that anyone would have with a medical procedure and anesthesia.

Good luck to you OP and thank you Dr. Altamirano and all of the surgeons that make this available to folks that would otherwise suffer.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

To @@heartofthetinman ...

Reading your initial and subsequent posts, I think you are related to some of the most ignorant, selfish people I have ever read of. Sorry to talk that way about your people.

They aren't educated about this surgery. Yet they refuse to be educated about it.

They aren't showing you any love -- probably because they aren't loving people.

Your husband really is an asshole. Sight unseen.

Here's what it boils down to: Ultimately, each of us is responsible for the life we get. No matter what others do that affect us we all have to then respond. You can respond by caving in and becoming *their* victim (probably wouldn't be the first time you did that). OR you can make your decisions and have the conviction to follow through with your convictions.

Accept that your family isn't going to support you -- at least not on the front end of this, and maybe not on the back end either. Maybe never.

And what if you were wildly successful with your WLS and they never supported you -- because they (semi-consciously) felt how wrong they'd been, but didn't have the balls to own up to their ignorance and errors? You could still go on and live a much, much, much better and longer life than you will live as an obese person with all the health issues that come with that.

You can bitch about them. And that's OK. But you still have to make your own decision. And you have to stick with it every day thereafter -- if you truly want to build a better life for yourself.

I honestly, truly wish for you a better, happier, healthier life than you've got now. Things can get much better for you if you choose that different life.

[heartofthetinman 31]

Thank you all for your support. Part of the problem is my daughter in law just got liscenced as a nurse practitioner and of course now she knows everything. She's fueling it. It's not a long term solution. It can stretch out and you can stay the same size, there are too many complications, there's a 1-200 morbidity rate.

I'm determined to do this. Screw them.

[RuralNurse 48]

It can stretch out and you can stay the same size, there are too many complications, there's a 1-200 morbidity rate.

Ask her for the morbidity rate of diabetes, hypertension and dyslipidemia?

I have been a nurse for 15 years and am dual certified as a family nurse practitioner and a psychiatric nurse practitioner and I am doing this and have no fear. This weight loss surgery is a tool and if you look at it that way and not as a cure you will be fine.

The next time someone comes at you with negativity plug your ears and say, "La La La La" and walk away.

[adriene 3]

I've made my sleeve appt for January with Dr Lopez. I have told my immediate family (husband sister and grown kids) and they are so harsh. It's not safe in Mexico. It's too major a surgery. If something goes wrong it's my own fault. It's the easy way out and not a long term solution. And they won't just have their say and stop its over and over.

I want the surgery but I'm already a little apprehensive about surgery alone in another country but I feel like I have no one to talk to about my nerves because then I get the big "i told you so". And this is BEFORE the surgery. I feel like I won't even be able to recuperate and will have to act like it was nothing just so I don't get my nose rubbed in it.

As Madonna says "Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another." I'm getting the exact same harsh feedback from my entire family including my 36 yr old daughter who has never walked in my shoes. My surgery is Tuesday Dec 29th in Juarez with Dr. Rodriguez and I'm even more determined now then ever before.

[LATINGODDESS 31]

I totally understand your dilemma. I brought up the subject last year and my fiance was NOT on board. I tried the weight loss programs and gym for the hundredth time. Didn't work. I lost a few pounds and regained in no time. I did a lot of soul searching and reading. I finally broached the subject again and explained my reasons. He was on board finally. But I must say, he didn't put me down or make me feel like a failure. He understood and now I only have two more nutritionist visits. Don't let anyone put you down or steal your joy. Best of luck to you

[danilynne 4]

I'm going on Jan 20th...proove them wrong. Than tell them to f**k off, lol just kidding..hope everything goes as YOU want for yourself that will make YOU happy..

My appointment is with Alobariatrics' Dr. Lopez Jan 20th.

Edited January 9, 2016 by danilynne

["Henry" 109]

Congratulations on your decision danilynne!!!

[heartofthetinman 31]

Well I'm doing it on the eleventh. I'm glad to get it done but all the naysaying over time has eroded my confidence. I'm nervous now.

[Miss Mac 6,261]

I would like to think that if my boyfriend or one of my daughters wanted to go out of the country for a medical procedure that I did not agree was a brilliant idea, then I would volunteer to go along to make sure that they were well-taken care of.

You said that you thought you might have to fake feeling better that you do on any given day just to prevent "I told you so." Well, they will find out soon enough that you are on a liquid diet and have holes in your belly that need to heal. Tell them to back off and that if you feel like you are not progressing as you should that you will promptly contact your home physician.

Take whatever downtime you need. I was weak as I was healing and progressing through the diet phases, but I was able to feed myself, bathe myself, make the bed, drag (not carry) the laundry basket down the stairs, do dishes, etc. By no means was I helpless and asking others to wait on me, but I was glad I am retired and did not have to go to work or take care of little kids.

Please keep us informed of how your surgery goes. I am rooting for you! Hugs from Chicago.

[Calykynsmom 11]

IDK when you are planning to get your surgery done, but I understand your fears and your family's fears as well. The main thing I put out there was this was NOT a spur of the moment flighty idea. Most of us have went back and forth losing weight, getting WLS consults, Drs supervised diets and seminars on WLS.I have lost weight and gained it back more times than I want to count. All surgery is risky, but I would rather take a chance and have WLS than certainly die twenty years early from obesity. Even if I died on the table it would be on my terms!