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I said I wasn't going to date until next sumer or fall, but I made an OKCupid profile. It has been interesting.

I'm really glad to know there are all these proud Dads out here, but I don't want to date one. So many guys in their 40s with little kids. As I weed them all out I might find someone decent by Nov 2016

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@OKCPirate... He & I have developed a nice friendship & dating routine so far. I'm not getting hopes up for a lifetime commitment etc as I know this surgery will bring so many changes & emotions. But he's so supportive ( he had a close friend go thru it) and right now things work nicely for what we both need :) I'm blessed with amazing guy friends and all their support. As they constantly tell me they support me but don't see why I'm doing it. Lol

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I did something pretty wild today. A cute guy sat down next to at a restaurant. We were both eating alone so I struck up a conversation.

OMG!!

And we hit it off so I just offered him my number!!! OMG I cannot believe my huge balls.

I have never done that in my whole life!!! Hahahahah!! I'm awesome. Eeeeeeek!!!

Edited by bellabloom

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@@bellabloom - excellent work and congrats. I ran across one guy's dating advice site, and while I think he's a cad who is real interest seems to be limited at using women for sex, he had an interesting tip...make it your goal to make 20-25 interactions with women a day. Record the results. Over time you gain more confidence. I think this applies to both sexes.

As an extroverted introvert (I keep trying to explain that I'm introverted because I regain my energy by wanting to be alone, not in a group), I can't help but meet people on a plane, event etc. Does everyone of those encounters change my life? Nope. But those one or two out of hundreds can make all the difference in the world.

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You go girl! This is a huge step forward!

About a year ago, I came out from having a snack with my gfriend after a ride to find some dude snooping around my horse trailer in the parking lot. At first I was thinking negative thoughts... but he clearly knew something about horses so I decided to be brave like you and strike up a conversation!

So, we started talking. He had a truck with a boat on a trailer and a pal that was fixing some kind of wound. The pal was hilarous - it was like remarks from the peanut gallery... he would at random yell out things like...

"he's single"

"he has a whole barn with no horses in it"

"you are really hot"

Anyway, at the end of our chat I screwed up the courage to say "I'd like to talk some more" which prompted him to ask for my phone number.

We dated for about 4 months... sadly it didn't last but it was the first time that I kinda realized that I CAN DO THE CHOOSING TOO, NOT WAIT TO BE CHOSEN.

I learned something big from that experience.

I often ignore/avoid eye contact with men who are interested in me. Dammit, a year later and i still do that! I have a renewed committment to making eye contact and smiling at men that interest me!

Guys sometimes need a little sign of encouragement....

Last summer i met some guy at a dance lesson, I was practicing my assertive yet feminine wiles and gave him my number, and my first name and like 5 months later he finds me on Facebook. I had actually written him off / forgotten about him, but he hadn't forgotten about me.

Best advice from an older gfriend - don't wait to be picked, pick the good ones. It is still a foreign concept, but I am working it.

I did something pretty wild today. A cute guy sat down next to at a restaurant. We were both eating alone so I struck up a conversation.

OMG!!

And we hit it off so I just offered him my number!!! OMG I cannot believe my huge balls.

I have never done that in my whole life!!! Hahahahah!! I'm awesome. Eeeeeeek!!!

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I can so relate to what you are saying.

Honestly, I have NEVER EVER had a man say "no" or reject me - asking to dance, or whatever... and yet... that feeling remains. I hate asking, . I really hate asking, and yet I wonder why more Seattlle men don't grow a pair and ask me! I think I need to practice like your "cad dude" recommends. Seriously, the worst he can say is "no, leave me alone, you old lady..haha"

I actually WANT it all - relationship and sex..apparently a tall order.

You are an extroverted introvert... while I am prone to being an introverted extrovert. I am totally charged up by being around people.. the very definition of an extrovert. I am also the one that the girls send to talk to some stranger or whatever... but when it comes to me.. well... I can be kinda shy! well, not shy, but ya know... not killing it!

@@bellabloom - excellent work and congrats. I ran across one guy's dating advice site, and while I think he's a cad who is real interest seems to be limited at using women for sex, he had an interesting tip...make it your goal to make 20-25 interactions with women a day. Record the results. Over time you gain more confidence. I think this applies to both sexes.

As an extroverted introvert (I keep trying to explain that I'm introverted because I regain my energy by wanting to be alone, not in a group), I can't help but meet people on a plane, event etc. Does everyone of those encounters change my life? Nope. But those one or two out of hundreds can make all the difference in the world.

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@@OKCPirate

Thanks for the advice on going where the men are. It has worked out great. Met someone and we really clicked.

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Glad it worked for you.????

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Well... My guy turned out to be a schmuck!!! Lmao thank god I saw those shark teeth ahead of time!! ????????

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@@dancingqueene - be thankful. I spend a few weeks with one and realized "oh no, Borderline Personality Disorder Case Study." But check this post out for encouragement: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/354255-hey-you-out-of-the-dating-pool/

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@Scubav85... I plan to wait as well I had just happened to meet him. I'm ready to date emotionally but it's hard to go on a date and can only drink Water & not eat lol I'm only 7 days post of ????

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Yeah my surgery is 12 hours from now. I'm ready to date. Been single almost 2 years. I started a bad custody battle with my ex over 2 years ago. .lasted 2 years but it turned out in my favor so I have full custody of my daughter now. I did but l not date during that time. There was too much to the case to be distracted

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I said I wasn't going to date until next sumer or fall, but I made an OKCupid profile. It has been interesting.

I'm really glad to know there are all these proud Dads out here, but I don't want to date one. So many guys in their 40s with little kids. As I weed them all out I might find someone decent by Nov 2016

I also, don't want to date anyone with kids as I don't have any of my own. However, I did fall for someone who has kids. Now I wish I had not made such a harsh decision because he was really great guy. I missed out on a great person. The reality is at my age almost all come with kids.You live and learn and move on.

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@@dusky goddess I found my unicorn and I am dating a great guy mid 40s with no kids.

I'd rather be single than settle for something I don't want and co-parenting is something I have zero interest in.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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