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"Postponing life until after surgery"



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Does anyone else feel like they are postponing life until after the surgery? I know surgery is not a magic pill but,

every time someone asks me about any kind of goal or interest I always say "ill wait until after my surgery"

is this common?

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I have done that all my life. "Once I lose 50lbs", "this time next year when I am slim", "if I could only lose *** I can start living life".

I haven't really done that with the sleeve. Now I just say 'soon' because it WILL happen, it's not just a pipe dream. Not only is it going to happen, it will stay that way. I have no intention of going back and yes I know people gain, they fail and go back to what they were weight wise but thats not even going to figure in my life. (I am trying positive picturing lol).

Best of luck in your journey :D

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I put off my life for a year post-op.

I didn't feel like my weight was low enough to seek out a new job, get out and have fun, or try dating.

I think it's pretty common, much like the way people order a new "as seen on tv" exercise tool.

And then wait for it to arrive before starting any kind of exercise program.

I know I've done it.

Get my free eBook - The Top 10 WLS Fears and How to Kick Their Butt!

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I got to a place where I had to. Because of my weight and mobility issues, I am on disability and am unable to work. Even now, post-surgery, I know there are things that I can't physically do. But, I can look forward to a time that I can with confidence now that I have had the surgery and am starting to see results.

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It took about nine months from the time I decided I was going to have surgery until I had the surgery (jumping through insurance hoops). It was much like having a baby. It's on your mind every day. You can't make a lot of plans because you don't know what the future will hold, but you "dream" about it. You feel like you can't wait for it to get here, and it will take forever. Once you finally get there, it feels like the time flew by!

On another note, so many of us have gone on diets in the past and failed. So any pronouncement of what we're going to do or what our goals are feels too much like the past, a past when we failed. We all have those thoughts of "what if it doesn't work for me?" "what if I have surgery and don't lose weight?" Making any goals before surgery made me feel like I was going to jinx myself.

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Well, in my case, I feel like I was in the 'on hold' mode most of my life. Not because I was obese (I never had mobility problems or other physical issues related to my weight), but because of how it made me feel. I always felt there were so many things I couldn't do because I was afraid of humuliation.

I think this changed for my after the accident I had 18 months ago, which caused a partial motor dysfunction of my left arm. For about a year I was postponing all my plans and focusing on full recovery, until I realised that's just ridiculous and may never happen. So I stopped caring so much about how other people would perceive me. I figured I can wait for something I have limited control over, or I can just enjoy what I have now.

I joined a salsa class (something I haven't done for 15 years). And then I had an epiphany - if I don't mind dancing with a slightly disabled arm, why the hell do I care that I'm fat? I can still swing my hips. :)

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I went and got a degree in massage therapy and because of my weight and health issues I can't do anything with it Right now. I would love to get use out of my 13000 education and I will once I lose the weight and do more pt for my back

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I'm guilty of this. It is literally all I talk about

I feel bad for the people around me.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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