Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Help! I can really use everyone's advice!



Recommended Posts

Help!!! I am second guessing my decision to have surgery. I'm scheduled for Nov. I just don't know if risking death is worth loosing weight. I am 5'5" 250 lbs. 28 years old. No health problems as of yet besides high cholesterol. I have small children at home and I don't know what should happen with them if I died. Also, my brother also passed away a few years ago and my parents would be heartbroken if they lost their only other child.... What should I do! I feel like getting surgery is very selfish of me. Does anyone have advice they can offer me?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

honestly this type of surgery is routine and has been pretty much perfected. There's always a risk of complications but to say that you're risking death is an exaggeration (unless of course you're someone who has issues with general anesthesia)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Research here, on other websites, but especially through reputable teaching and research hospitals for more information.

Go to a medical weight loss seminar at a local hospital and attend a couple of the support groups to learn as much as you can about WLS.

I can't tell you there is zero risk with the surgery, there is a small risk of a complication with any surgery, but if you are in good health, properly prepared for the surgery and had full medical checkups & bloodwork prior to the surgery, everything should be just fine.

On the other hand, obesity has its own set of medical risks.

Good luck on your decision.

Edited by 4MRB4PHOTO

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Most dangerous part of the surgery was the drive home statistically. There is risk in everything, but look at the risk of 41.1 BMI over time, vs this. 80% chance of losing 80% of your excess weight and keeping it off. So figure your odds.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Would it help you to feel better to do some legal stuff before surgery to protect your family in case of the unthinkable? Legalzoom is what I'm using to create a will and living trust. I am not affiliated with that website.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The stats on on your side. Your risk of death is <1%. Yes, there is risk involved with any surgery, but it's mitigated by all the pre-op work-up/clearances you have and a highly controlled environment once you're in the OR.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a lot of the same fears. Being the bread winner at home really struck a cord with me. I honestly couldn't go on the way I was anymore. I felt horrible, had not self esteem and the path I was on was going to kill me the way it was.

The risks of surgery are actually less than having your gall bladder out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Help!!! I am second guessing my decision to have surgery. I'm scheduled for Nov. I just don't know if risking death is worth loosing weight. I am 5'5" 250 lbs. 28 years old. No health problems as of yet besides high cholesterol. I have small children at home and I don't know what should happen with them if I died. Also, my brother also passed away a few years ago and my parents would be heartbroken if they lost their only other child.... What should I do! I feel like getting surgery is very selfish of me. Does anyone have advice they can offer me?

You risk death by not getting surgery. There is a risk of complications with every surgery, but if you have chosen a skilled surgeon then that risk is minimal. The choice is yours and everyone should go into this feeling confident. I will say that this was 1,000 time easier than my hysterectomy years ago.

There is a difference between self care and selfishness.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It sounds like you are a loving mom who does everything she can for her children. Wouldn't you like to also give them a healthy energetic mom who will be around a long time to enjoy her grandchildren, too? There is risk in everything we do. Every tie we get in a car, turn on the gas or go down a flight of stairs we run the risk of getting hurt. Not managing health problems puts us at risk too. Just because you don't have diabetes this week doesn't mean you won't get it eventually.

I waited until I had a stroke. What event are you waiting until? If part of your worry is because you have never had surgery before, that is not necessarily a problem. Doctors and hospitals don't make money off of dead patients and malpractice lawsuits. They are interested in your surgery being successful, too.

We just cannot stop the circle of life no matter what we do or avoid. If you decide not to get the surgery, then at least do something pro-active and stay with us. Learn about high Protein, low carb eating and moving your body every day. Maybe you will be ready at another time, but iif you back out, don't wait until the day before. Give your surgeon a chance to schedule someone else who is ready to take this step. My vote is for the surgery, but I wish you the best, whatever you decide. I

My sleeve was my 12th surgery under anesthetic, and I enjoyed the nap and a few days of rest.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×