Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Husband rant!



Recommended Posts

I cannot complain now about my husband. He notices and he will flat out tell anyone who ask she has worked out and watched everything she puts into her mouth. She amazes me has fallen out more than once! It feels great when he tells others, BUT he doesn't tell me! I have shared every pound with him. He has seen me struggle and helped me choose the healthy option when I struggled to make good decisions. He is quick to tell me when I don't need to wear those pants that I insisted on wearing because the were falling off my butt. He just never really voices that I look good. It comes out in spurts, and I look forward to them. One day I put on a skirt and he said, wow! He is very unemotional and his parents raising him we quick to tell him how awful he was (which he isn't) and the praises were few. He is not me! I do know that in the almost 15 years I've been married that this was an issue long before the surgery. It has taken years of telling him I love him, I miss him, I want him to hold me or whatever it was I wanted for him to just do it. It's bad habits that have been built. I use to tease him that in my next life I wanted to come back as his cell phone. I even chime out, ring ring!! He knows exactly what It means when I do it. The point in me telling you this is that my work on the man I married is now the fabulous husband I have now. It takes time and if you want it, you have to be willing to give a lot of time and effort. Yes it feels great to walk by and have my husband grab at my butt or put his hand on my back and rub a little. Both because it's obvious that my body is different. That is his way of saying he notices it without saying it. It's a two way road and my biggest fear is losing him, I now know his biggest fear is losing me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some of y'all are married to some seriously large assholes.

You can call 'em "challenged" or anything else if you want, but they rate high on my assholery scale.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with @@VSGAnn2014 . My hubs and I have been married 28 years. I decided to do this, and he only had concerns about the safety of the procedure. Once I was healed, and we were out walking or hiking, and he had his best bud back...he's been great. The same guy I married, and the same guy he was the day of my surgery. No drama, no head games, no threats, or insecurities. I'd say my guy is pretty normal. I'd say some of these other guys are not normal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I cannot complain now about my husband. He notices and he will flat out tell anyone who ask she has worked out and watched everything she puts into her mouth. She amazes me has fallen out more than once! It feels great when he tells others, BUT he doesn't tell me! I have shared every pound with him. He has seen me struggle and helped me choose the healthy option when I struggled to make good decisions. He is quick to tell me when I don't need to wear those pants that I insisted on wearing because the were falling off my butt. He just never really voices that I look good. It comes out in spurts, and I look forward to them. One day I put on a skirt and he said, wow! He is very unemotional and his parents raising him we quick to tell him how awful he was (which he isn't) and the praises were few. He is not me! I do know that in the almost 15 years I've been married that this was an issue long before the surgery. It has taken years of telling him I love him, I miss him, I want him to hold me or whatever it was I wanted for him to just do it. It's bad habits that have been built. I use to tease him that in my next life I wanted to come back as his cell phone. I even chime out, ring ring!! He knows exactly what It means when I do it. The point in me telling you this is that my work on the man I married is now the fabulous husband I have now. It takes time and if you want it, you have to be willing to give a lot of time and effort. Yes it feels great to walk by and have my husband grab at my butt or put his hand on my back and rub a little. Both because it's obvious that my body is different. That is his way of saying he notices it without saying it. It's a two way road and my biggest fear is losing him, I now know his biggest fear is losing me.

Mine sounds similar.. Man, trying to get emotion out of him.. is like pulling teeth.. but he shows me in different ways..

Some of y'all are married to some seriously large assholes.

You can call 'em "challenged" or anything else if you want, but they rate high on my assholery scale.

My husband is not an asshole at all.. He had a horrible childhood and (maybe you weren't talking about him) but giving compliments comes so hard for him. It used to frustrate me.. but I realized he just is who he is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So I am going to approach this from a different angle...My weight was never an issue for my husband. He was concerned about my health, but never ever said anything about my weight. He truly loved me when I was at my lowest (the day we met) and loved me at my heaviest (the day I decided to have surgery).

Good point.. My husband loved me being large, and wasn't really on board with surgery, but supported my choice.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some of y'all are married to some seriously large assholes.

You can call 'em "challenged" or anything else if you want, but they rate high on my assholery scale.

Something about this rubbed me the wrong way. Keep in mind that my vent here this is only a fraction of our life. It speaks nothing to how we've connected and grown as a couple or the life we've made for ourselves. There are many aspects where he's great, this whole WLS arena is new (for me and him) so it means finding our footing.

If your life/relationship is pure rose petals and sunshine-- good for you-- but storms can and do come. Everyone weathers them differently.

The only scale my husband will be meassred on is mine-- none other turly matter

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If I could count all the ways he's a Jackass, I'd be a millionaire.

Some of y'all are married to some seriously large assholes.

You can call 'em "challenged" or anything else if you want, but they rate high on my assholery scale.

Something about this rubbed me the wrong way. Keep in mind that my vent here this is only a fraction of our life. It speaks nothing to how we've connected and grown as a couple or the life we've made for ourselves. There are many aspects where he's great, this whole WLS arena is new (for me and him) so it means finding our footing.

If your life/relationship is pure rose petals and sunshine-- good for you-- but storms can and do come. Everyone weathers them differently.

The only scale my husband will be meassred on is mine-- none other turly matter

You're the one who said he was a jackass... now we can't agree with you?? Okayyyy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If I could count all the ways he's a Jackass, I'd be a millionaire.

>

Some of y'all are married to some seriously large assholes.

You can call 'em "challenged" or anything else if you want, but they rate high on my assholery scale.

Something about this rubbed me the wrong way. Keep in mind that my vent here this is only a fraction of our life. It speaks nothing to how we've connected and grown as a couple or the life we've made for ourselves. There are many aspects where he's great, this whole WLS arena is new (for me and him) so it means finding our footing.

If your life/relationship is pure rose petals and sunshine-- good for you-- but storms can and do come. Everyone weathers them differently.

The only scale my husband will be meassred on is mine-- none other turly matter

You're the one who said he was a jackass... now we can't agree with you?? Okayyyy.

I never said i didn't call him that- and you'll see that I agreed with awjones when she characterized him the same. But I said *something* about VSGAnn's comment rubbed me the wrong way. Something-- some random unknown and possibly baseless reason... not solidified in fact or truth in any way, shape, or form. Maybe she's coming from the same exact mind set I was able to connect with awjones on-- but it just didn't come off that way to me. That's all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If I could count all the ways he's a Jackass, I'd be a millionaire.

>

Some of y'all are married to some seriously large assholes.

You can call 'em "challenged" or anything else if you want, but they rate high on my assholery scale.

Something about this rubbed me the wrong way. Keep in mind that my vent here this is only a fraction of our life. It speaks nothing to how we've connected and grown as a couple or the life we've made for ourselves. There are many aspects where he's great, this whole WLS arena is new (for me and him) so it means finding our footing.

If your life/relationship is pure rose petals and sunshine-- good for you-- but storms can and do come. Everyone weathers them differently.

The only scale my husband will be meassred on is mine-- none other turly matter

You're the one who said he was a jackass... now we can't agree with you?? Okayyyy.

I never said i didn't call him that- and you'll see that I agreed with awjones when she characterized him the same. But I said *something* about VSGAnn's comment rubbed me the wrong way. Something-- some random unknown and possibly baseless reason... not solidified in fact or truth in any way, shape, or form. Maybe she's coming from the same exact mind set I was able to connect with awjones on-- but it just didn't come off that way to me. That's all.

One said jackass, the other a*****e lol. Just because your husband is lacking in one arena that you find important doesn't diminish all the other ways he shows your love. That is the problem with venting online to strangers that know nothing about you and your complete story of life. They only hear a portion of what is going on. No one and no relationship is without fault.

Did he compliment you pre-surgery on a new outfit or hairdo or new job?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Listen this is not a marriage counseling site.You are on your own weight loss journey and that what we are here to support you on...all this other nonsense about the fact that your husband doesn't compliment you is a waste of time.I am right there with VSGAnn....don't care about the woes and approval of your significant other compared to his comments about your son.No one can walk in your shoes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's a rant and rave section! So are there specific rants and raves that are allowed? She felt the need to rant. So she did.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Next!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's a rant and rave section! So are there specific rants and raves that are allowed? She felt the need to rant. So she did.

Or the other obvious-- unsubscribe to the thread if they feel it doesn't meet with the spirit of the site...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There are some nasty people on this site. The very reason people cycle through so quickly. I asked a question, no need to get huffy and puffy. I swear I think so many on here must be miserable in their day to day lives because it shines through clearly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Onedayatatime365

      Looking to connect with others who are also on the journey of better health. Post-Op Gastric Sleeve (4/11/24).
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • jparadigm

      Happy Wednesday!
       
      I hope everyone is having a lovely week so far! 
      It's been a bit of a struggle this last week...I'm hungry ALL the time.
      · 1 reply
      1. BlondePatriotInCDA

        Have a great Wednesday too! Sorry you're hungry all the time, I'm pretty much the same..and I'm sick of eating the same food all the time.

    • ChunkCat

      Well, tomorrow I go in for an impromptu hiatal hernia repair after ending up in the ER over the weekend because I couldn't get food down and water was moving at a trickle... I've been having these symptoms on and off for a few weeks but Sunday was the worst by far and came with chest pain and trouble breathing. The ER PA thinks it is just esophagitis and that the surgeon and radiologist are wrong. But the bariatric surgeon swears it is a hernia, possibly a sliding one based on my symptoms. So he fit me into his schedule this week to repair it! I hope he's right and this sorts it out. He's going to do a scope afterwards to be sure there is nothing wrong with the esophagus. Here's hoping it all goes well!!
      · 4 replies
      1. AmberFL

        omgsh!! Hope all goes well!! Keeping you in my thoughts!

      2. gracesmommy2

        Hope you’re doing well!

      3. NickelChip

        I hope it goes well! Sending positive thoughts for a speedy recovery!

      4. AmberFL

        How are you doing? any update?!

    • jparadigm

      Hello lovlies!
      Today is a beautiful day in west Michigan! I hope you all have a beautiful Tuesday and rest of your week!! 🤗
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×