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OMG Radar, as a children's social worker with child protective services, this just made me so upset hearing about all the abuse you endured as a child. No judgement at all, but when this is all done, it would be great if you did some individual counseling to ensure those issues from your past don't creep into your future as you embark on this new journey. Again, I'm so sorry for what you had to endure, and I'm looking forward to you getting a chance to focus on yourself so you can continue to be the best dad! Best of luck to you Radar ❤️

Thank you so much for your kind words of support, and for all of the nice words from everyone else too. I forgave my parents and even started talking to my dad again. I bought my mom a house and emptied my 401k to give my dad some cash for a house he bought and he promptly said I never gave him any cash and asked me if I had a receipt and denied beating my mom and most of the abuse he did with my brother and I.

I always felt worse for my little brother when he got beat. I took a lot of beatings for him. He's 45 and has never been right. He's never held down a job and he's got psychological problems and uses drugs. I held my pain inside for a long time and then realized my holding hate was hurting me, not them. It's like Carrie Fisher said something like "Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." I forgave him and that removed any power my parents had over me.

As an adult I have their respect.. well at least the love and respect of my mother.

Anyway, I'm a bit nervous about the surgery. In my case, deciding I want the surgery, going through all of the hoops, and actually getting the surgery will all have taken place in 2 months. I've watched a ton of video journals on YouTube by people who have had it done and listened to the things they wish they would have known, and what to expect. I feel like I'm going into this with my eyes wide open.

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I don't know how the prep diet is for you guys, but for one week starting tomorrow I will have to drink 2 Protein Shakes a day and have one meal, and the following week it will be 3 Protein shakes a day, which will be tough since my stomach hasn't been reduced in size yet. I am feeling a bit guilty because I've sort of had a last feast before it all starts because I'll never be able to do it again.

Can anyone tell me how many days you typically stay in the hospital before you can go home?

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I think it depends on the doctor. My surgery is on the 15th and I'll be going home the same day if there are no complications. I don't want any complications but I don't want to go home the same day either????

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@@Radar I'm in the hospital now, I was told I'd be here for two days, but we are determining if I need to stay a third day, because I haven't been eating very much. I think I'm gonna go home later because I drank half a Protein Shake just now.

Don't feel bad about the "food funeral" lol. I was supposed to be on a two week liquid diet, but I only did it for two and a half days before my surgery. As long as you don't weigh more on your surgery date then you did at your last appointment, you should be ok. But it is imperative that you consume liquids only 48 hours prior and nothing after midnight the night before, or they will cancel your surgery.

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@@Radar I'm in the hospital now, I was told I'd be here for two days, but we are determining if I need to stay a third day, because I haven't been eating very much. I think I'm gonna go home later because I drank half a Protein Shake just now.

Don't feel bad about the "food funeral" lol. I was supposed to be on a two week liquid diet, but I only did it for two and a half days before my surgery. As long as you don't weigh more on your surgery date then you did at your last appointment, you should be ok. But it is imperative that you consume liquids only 48 hours prior and nothing after midnight the night before, or they will cancel your surgery.

They have never weighed me. I just told them I was around 300. I hope you recover soon. How is the pain?

I am going to do my best to stick to the diet the nutritionist gave me. My wife is pushing me to do this so she will make sure I stick to the plan too. Thank you so much for posting this while you're still in the hospital. I was guessing about 3 days and then go home for another 3-4 before heading back to work. I am a systems analyst / engineer so I don't move around a lot. The walk from the parking lot will be the toughest. It's at least a quarter mile each way and probably more if I don't get a good spot. I think that first day back to work will be tough. Get some rest and feel better soon!

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@@Radar

Whoa, they have never weighed you? I'm sorry but that just doesn't sound right. I have been weighed every time I go into the office. I did have a 4 month waiting period.

Are you self pay? But even then, they should be tracking your weight from the first time you walk in the door.

What kind of after care are they giving you? My surgeon's office has already laid out the post-op schedule I'll go through. I'll see a NUT twice and will see the surgeon frequently for the first year.

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After surgery, the NUT has given me a Diet Progression list.

Day 1 & 2 - Clear Liquids

Day 3 - 7 - Full liquids - Protein Shakes, sf Jello, sf pudding, smooth yogurt, blended cream Soups.< /p>

Week 2 - 3 - Soft foods

Week 4 and on - Regular diet

The only reason the first few days diet would extend would be how I tolerate things.

Also from day 1, 48 oz of fluid/water, and from day 3, 80g of Protein.< /p>

And Vitamins, chewables.< /p>

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@@Radar

Whoa, they have never weighed you? I'm sorry but that just doesn't sound right. I have been weighed every time I go into the office. I did have a 4 month waiting period.

Are you self pay? But even then, they should be tracking your weight from the first time you walk in the door.

What kind of after care are they giving you? My surgeon's office has already laid out the post-op schedule I'll go through. I'll see a NUT twice and will see the surgeon frequently for the first year.

I have been to the initial visit when I met the doctor. They asked me how much I weigh. I told them 300. I did a psyche evaluation which was just a paper I filled out, scanned and sent in. Then I did an endoscopy and an appointment with the nutritionist and they just asked me again if I know how much I weigh so I told them. Then I had another meeting with the nutritionist over the phone and I was approved for the surgery and the next day they called me to tell me when the surgery was. The whole thing was 2 months start to finish.

They gave me a bunch of papers laying out the diet, and schedule and stuff. I have to meet up with them on the 14th and they will be doing all kinds of tests and x-rays, and other stuff, and I'm guessing they will actually weigh me at that time. A week later I'll have the surgery.

I haven't seen any post-op stuff yet though.

Edited by Radar

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After surgery, the NUT has given me a Diet Progression list.

Day 1 & 2 - Clear liquids

Day 3 - 7 - Full liquids - Protein Shakes, sf Jello, sf pudding, smooth yogurt, blended cream Soups.< /p>

Week 2 - 3 - Soft foods

Week 4 and on - Regular diet

The only reason the first few days diet would extend would be how I tolerate things.

Also from day 1, 48 oz of fluid/water, and from day 3, 80g of Protein.< /p>

And Vitamins, chewables.< /p>

What does NUT stand for? Nutritionist?

I think my diet will be stricter than yours. It will take me longer to get back to regular foods than you. Also they want me to take liquid vitamins which I didn't even know were a thing. I can swallow a ton of pills but liquid medicine always makes me queasy. Maybe I can dilute it in Water or do it all at once in a gulp and chase it with water. I don't like chewables either.

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@@Radar with all due respect, I'd so some research on this place. Sounds like they are just pushing you through instead of really taking the time to make sure this is the best choice for you. How can they do a psych evaluation without seeing you? Same with the nutritionist. I know you're anxious to do it, but you wanna be sure you're in good hands. Again, no judgement but just sounds like they are being a little too lenient.

As far as my pain, I'm ok. I just got home to my mom's because I live up two flights of stairs. I just crushed my narco pills and it made me feel like I was gonna throw up trying to swallow them. I'm gonna try my best not to use these at all, because the amount of liquid I had to swallow to get them down almost gave me my first stuck feeling, and I've been doing good so far otherwise. But I won't lie, my 5 year old already has my nerves through the roof. It seems like she is extra hyper because she hasn't seen me, and I'm trying to be understanding that she's excited to see me, but she's jumping around and trying to have me smell her underarms to see if she stinks (I know, a weird thing we do) and I can't deal right now. Kinda wished I stayed in the hospital the extra day lol, so be prepared for that with the kiddos @@Radar lol????

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@@Radar with all due respect, I'd so some research on this place. Sounds like they are just pushing you through instead of really taking the time to make sure this is the best choice for you. How can they do a psych evaluation without seeing you? Same with the nutritionist. I know you're anxious to do it, but you wanna be sure you're in good hands. Again, no judgement but just sounds like they are being a little too lenient.

As far as my pain, I'm ok. I just got home to my mom's because I live up two flights of stairs. I just crushed my narco pills and it made me feel like I was gonna throw up trying to swallow them. I'm gonna try my best not to use these at all, because the amount of liquid I had to swallow to get them down almost gave me my first stuck feeling, and I've been doing good so far otherwise. But I won't lie, my 5 year old already has my nerves through the roof. It seems like she is extra hyper because she hasn't seen me, and I'm trying to be understanding that she's excited to see me, but she's jumping around and trying to have me smell her underarms to see if she stinks (I know, a weird thing we do) and I can't deal right now. Kinda wished I stayed in the hospital the extra day lol, so be prepared for that with the kiddos @@Radar lol

To be fair, I told them my insurance changes at the end of the year and asked to get through as quickly as possible. The psych evaluation was a form and a phone call with the psychologist. I met with the doctor and nutritionist in person. The second appointment with the Nutritionist was over the phone.

My daughter is 8 but acts older. She's very smart and loves me as much as I love her. I know what you mean about kids getting on your last nerve when they are riled up. Luckily she is normally very good and if I'm sick, she will try to help my wife take care of me. I'm happy your mom is helping take care of you.

I hadn't thought about stairs. I live in an old apartment building with a ton of stairs. There is no way around it for me.

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@amberc425 I really agree with you. Radar you should really check into this place. It almost sounds like a place that wants to do as many surgeries as they can.

Is the hospital you are going to a Center of Excellance? That should be a requirement for Bariatric surgeries. Even the ones in Mexico have that certification.

Just be careful, very careful. You have a beautiful daughter that needs you.

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@@Radar as long as you feel comfortable with the process, that is what's most important. It could just be that my surgeon was overly cautious, as he is the director of the minimally invasive surgical department. But my daughter is your typical 5 year old, spunky and full of energy, so she doesn't understand that mommy doesn't feel well because to her I look exactly the same lol. I told her mommy wasn't feeling good, and she is kidding chilled out now that we're back home. It was mostly the car ride home, she was just extra excited lol.

But honestly I can't imagine going upstairs right now! I live up two flights of stairs, that's why I'm at my moms for a few days. Just make sure you take some pain meds before you go home so you have the strength to get up there. You will be fine! You have persevered through so much already, this will be a walk in the park for you!

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I just went through all the pre op surgery & right after signing my consent forms my insurance company independence blue cross of PA denied my claim 11 days before surgery.

I am in the appeals phase wondering if anybody else had any insurance issues ????

Vic

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@amberc425 I really agree with you. Radar you should really check into this place. It almost sounds like a place that wants to do as many surgeries as they can.

Is the hospital you are going to a Center of Excellance? That should be a requirement for Bariatric surgeries. Even the ones in Mexico have that certification.

Just be careful, very careful. You have a beautiful daughter that needs you.

Actually it is a Bariatric Surgery Center of Excellence. My doctor is one of the top Bariatric surgeons in Los Angeles. He works at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and Marina Del Rey. I will be doing it at Marina Del Rey. His name is Dr. Sergey Lyass and I have all of the confidence in the world in his ability.

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