I was sleeved one month ago. I've been with my boyfriend for two years. Him and I are very different, and our families are very different. My family is very inclusive (Come on over for dinner! Invite him to Christmas! Bring him on vacation!), while his family rarely invites me to things, and shows little to no interest in getting to know me. This has been a problem in our relationship, but I really do love him.

Ever since I told his mother in December that I was going through the motions to get WLS, I have received a barage of "How much have you lost", "You need to be careful", "So many people gain back the weight", "You have such a pretty face" and tons of other know-it-all comments. At first I brushed this off as motherly concern, but my boyfriend recently let me know that she has expressed in private that she is concerned I can't control myself and WILL gain back my weight. She wants my boyfriend to watch out for that. He defended me but trust me this woman is stubborn.

This hurts so me much because I've only met this woman 4-5 times. I've tried to explain my journey, newfound motivation, and focus to her - but even after making this drastic lifestyle change to lose weight, I can't help but feel she is still judging me as a stereotypical obese person with no self control. I had surgery a month ago, what does this lady expect from me already? Sheesh.

I am pretty open about my surgery to anyone who wants to know about it - I have nothing to hide... but crap like this is making me wish I told nobody. It is a double edged sword - because once people know, they are expecting change.

Any advice?

TL;DR: Boyfriends mom never liked me because I was too fat for her son, now post-op, she still is afraid I will be too fat for her son.

Edited July 21, 201511 yr by meowmers

@@meowmers

She sounds like a real piece of work !! Don't let her get to you. I know it's easier said than done. Heck, not one of my in laws even know I had surgery. Even though they live 5 minutes away, I just avoid them. They are rude and nosy like you BF's mom. HAHA

So how is it going a month after your original post meowmers? How is the weight loss going? Any change in your BF's mother's attitude? I'll bet you are moving right along despite her!

Thanks for checking in! I'm doing pretty well. Almost 50 lbs down. Haven't seen his mom in almost two months, she never has really made an effort to spend time with me and after last time I stopped asking my bf to arrange it. Our relationship is rocky right now, a culmination of stuff. To sum it up, he participates in our relationship when it's convenient and is resistant to put the "real work" in. I'm very vocal and he knows what he needs to change, so we will see where it goes.

there is nothing you can do to change the mind of the mother of your boyfriend just live your life i know its hard not having her support trust me ive been there i was engaged to a guy whose mother hated me so yeah been there done that. the best thing you can do is be up front with your boyfriend and say any communication between the mother and you has to go through him that way you can save your sanity

Screw her. Success is your best revenge. Sorry, that's how western cowgirls talk.