I Was Told I Look Like I Have AIDS Today..... :-/

[jobillandjosh 53]

So many kinds of wrong in your post....You look great in your picture. Unfortunately, this person has filed away your "fat" picture and it appears to be the only way she can see you. Or is somehow jealous of your progress and wants to make you feel as if you look bad. Either way, it's all on her. My temper probably would've made a rare appearance with a firm GFY.

People do the same thing with pregnancy. Everyone feels they have the right to touch your body. Or ask when you're having more kids. Somehow people feel pregnancy means there are no boundaries. So while I haven't had surgery yet, I have had kids and actually can't have any more so I get how invasive and incredibly rude people can be.

Keep on keeping on - healthy and happy. That's the best revenge.

[livvsmum 2,370]

Fascinating thread. Some insightful comments here.

@@livvsmum ... You are beautiful!

Thank you for the compliment :-)

[livvsmum 2,370]

So many kinds of wrong in your post....You look great in your picture. Unfortunately, this person has filed away your "fat" picture and it appears to be the only way she can see you. Or is somehow jealous of your progress and wants to make you feel as if you look bad. Either way, it's all on her. My temper probably would've made a rare appearance with a firm GFY.

People do the same thing with pregnancy. Everyone feels they have the right to touch your body. Or ask when you're having more kids. Somehow people feel pregnancy means there are no boundaries. So while I haven't had surgery yet, I have had kids and actually can't have any more so I get how invasive and incredibly rude people can be.

Keep on keeping on - healthy and happy. That's the best revenge.

YES! I was telling my friend about this and I said it was basically like when I was pregnant and complete strangers feel the freedom to comment on my body at will "oh you look huge" "you look so tired, etc"

[Flygirl123 150]

First of all, you look amazing, healthy & fit. I truly believe the rude & hurtful comment is more a reflection of that persons character rather than a reflection of your state of health.

[Ms. Nunya 126]

Some people are just uncouth. I would have been so unbothered. It's your life honey.

[Soapandcandlequeen 124]

You look great! People have a hard time with this concept. They just haven't adjusted yet or they are jealous

[LaLaLucy 22]

I think you look awesome! My brother died of AIDS and although I wouldn't normally use his death as ammunition in a conversation I think I would have if I were in your shoes at that moment. I'm sure it would have shut them up. I'm hoping to have my surgery in August and my coworkers are very vocal and opinionated about everything and everyone. I'm preparing myself for the worst.

[toler48 120]

Why do people seem to have the need to make comments about things they have no business commenting on.

As our momma's used to say, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything!

Still a good rule to live by.

And, if I haven't said it before, I'll say it now, livvsmom, you look FABULOUS DARLING!

[LovinSoul 113]

I have loved reading this thread and so agree that all the criticisms you have endured are those of ignorant people. And Yes why do people feel free to comment on anyone's weight? So judgemental and rude. You'd never say "you seem so much prettier today, are you using a better facial moisturizer?" But people have no problem saying "you look great, did you lose weight? How?" And I can't help thinking "so they must have thought I was a total cow before" which totally detracts from the compliment intended. But that's just me. Yet, I must admit, I relish the moments when an acquaintance passes me, looks back and sees that it IS me, then usually reacts in a terrific way. Hi, gee you look great, what's been happening? Yet, it's a paradox. Why do some skinny/normal weight people only "see" you when you enter their acceptable "weight dimension". lol

@@livvsmum You're perfect

Edited June 21, 2015 by LovinSoul

[toler48 120]

@@LovinSoul

"weight dimension" Love it LOL

As the song says, all you can do is "shake it off"

To have stayed sane by this point in my life, I have developed a thick skin. Hey maybe that is part of my weight problem! Nah, I love to cook and am (unfortunately) a good cook and love my own cooking. That is one huge hurdle I have in front of me. Maybe I should just let my hubby do the cooking from now on.

We are ALL BEAUTIFUL period!!

[Mandyctr 75]

I'd be interested to know this woman's age? It's seems people of certain generations 1) feel it's okay to speak their mind to anyone younger, or anyone at all, and 2) come from a time (or it could have been their life experience regardless of generation), where being thin did mean you were sick. I think a lot of people are surrounded by larger people and thin looks sickly to them. Everyone's life experience makes there own reality, but it doesn't make it your reality. What irritates me to no end is people weight, high or low, is none of anyone's business, and not a platform to judge them on, and most important, it speaks nothing of their character so who the hell cares????? It's an annoyingly acceptable part of American culture. Anyway, as I tell me kids, sometimes you gotta pull an Elsa and "let it go"

[devillynn 193]

I'm telling you people are too busy for their own good... they have this sense of entitlement that has gone way too far... i realize that as we lose a great deal of weight folks are going to notice and some general comments and compliments - "compliments" are to be expected ....that being said.... what that person said was entirely out of any realm of acceptable... on any universe in any galaxy. Crazy...just crazy. You look fabulous darling... simply fabulous.

[Bellarose100 74]

I have no idea how it came up....let me think. I think I was talking about Spanx with a friend (which I am currently wearing because of recovering from a tummy tuck) and another acquaintance overheard and said "why do you have to wear spanx??? you're already too skinny". I said something like, "oh it holds everything in place..haha" trying to be light-hearted. Then she told me that I looked like I had AIDS and that I needed to stop losing weight and I needed to gain some back. This is also something (not that specifically, but the same idea) that my mom says every time she visits. She'll say something like, "you look sick. you looked better before."

Let's focus on the conversation though. There is so much wrong with it. So much. I will attach my most recent picture so you can see that I don't really look awful.....and/or sickly.....

1. First of all, I don't like the derogatory nature of the comment towards anyone who is an AIDS patient. Not cool.

2. I get that when you knew someone when they were obese, and now you see them skinny, it takes some adjusting and sometimes it takes a while for you to think they look "normal" in their new body....but.... WHY do people think it's ok to comment on my weight?????

3. I am within a healthy weight range. My doctor is not concerned. My surgeon is not concerned. My therapist is not concerned.

4. Can we revisit #2?

5. You can fill in the blank....there's gotta be something else wrong with this.

It doesn't bother me really. I don't let people's comments effect my emotional well-being anymore. I just thought it was the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. And I am STUNNED at the forwardness of some people. And I am stunned at the fact that other people who are just acquaintances not even close friends, feel the freedom to comment on my weight at will.

PSA........don't share your comments on people's weight or appearance unless they start it.

. Wow I think you look amazing!! Beautiful! Are they jealous?

[shellyd88 463]

I agree people do feel so free to make comments last week I was told by my bosses mother that she was glad I lost weight because I'm too pretty to be so fat .... a woman I've met three times in a dozen years I was like ohhh k I kept quiet out of respect for her age almost 90 but felt very insulted none the less I almost asked her if she had thought I was ugly it would be ok to stay fat?

[wannaBthinsoon 1,634]

All I can say is YIKES! Why in the world does anyone believe it is their entitlement to comment about a persons weight? Would this same person make the same sort of comment to someone's face if they had gained weight? Would she say something about how FAT that person is getting? I mean, really! She is TOTALLY jealous of you, My favorite word begins with F. So F her!!! She doesn't F-ing get a vote. (as others have said...you look wonderful!)