this is the scary part

[gowalking 10,790]

I think losing the weight was easy as compared to this part of the journey. Without a goal weight to strive for and the motivation of watching the numbers go down, what do I do to make sure I don't let my weight creep up?

I've only been maintaining since the beginning of the year so I'm really a newbie again. I have bought all the clothes I need so shopping is no longer the motivator. I'm dating again and I know that I tend to eat emotionally and what is more emotional than dating, right?

I really hope that maintenance vets are around to support me and others who are still getting used to this new way of eating. I still am reminded of how bad my mobility was when I was heavier but as the years pass, I will get used to my new normal and that's when I fear I will slip again as I've done in the past. I know I never had the band before to help me with this but I worry as the newbies worry about losing the weight. What if I can't stay successful during this phase? What if I become one of those folks who gains alot or all of it back?

I'm not really looking for answers as there are none. I just need to put it out there that I have to find the strength to get me past the difficult times and always keep my eye on the prize. To me, success means that no one thinks of me as a before/after. I want everyone to think of me looking like I do now and not recall the fat me. I want the fat me to be a memory in my mind only. ..and in the few rare pictures of me at that large size.

I hope to be able to post here on every bandiversary and say that everything is still going well.

[Maggietcu2 55]

Are their any support groups in your area? How about a couple sessions with a bariatric psychologist? Love your honesty. It's post like yours that make this journey more real for me.

[parisshel 1,892]

@@gowalking, dear lady. It's normal that you should fear this, as this has been the paradigm with each weight loss, right?

I might search out and bookmark maintainer's blogs. There are loads of them out there. These don't necessarily have to be WLS maintainers...anyone who has a solid track record of maintenance, and who is practicing their maintenance in a way that aligns with your thinking could be a good inspirational source when you start doubting yourself.

It might also be helpful to not think of this as a big picture thing. Just concentrate on your daily maintenance. Do your best practices just for today. And then wake up and do it again tomorrow. I hear you fretting about where you next motivation will come from, now that the pounds have come off and you've got yourself some fabulous clothes. Guess what? Your motivation will continue to pour out of you each morning as your greet yourself in the mirror. I'm not worried for you.

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

I agree that maintenance is in many ways harder. I had happen to me a pattern that I have seen on here... you become active and then due to something like an injury, your workouts are interferred with. You don't feel as good, aren't as toned... maybe the pounds don't come on, but your clothes are snug. You still fit in single digit clothes, but you feel like you are obese again. I have seen people who post about small regains and use words like how much they hate themselves, or how awful they look, or that they have failed. WHOA.

I think it is really important to keep monitoring your weight closely, but also be careful of getting into "bad thinking" traps, seek support and frankly just be aware that regain happens. The key to "regain" is to stop it at a few pounds, not wait until it is a few hundred. I have lots of "naturally thin" friends in the over 50 age bracket. They all have to work at it so i remind myself of that when I am feeling sorry for myself!

Carry on... what choice do we have?

[gowalking 10,790]

I'm getting to London next month Shel. Paris is on my list as well though I don't have a timetable just yet. But when I do get there, we'll meet up in a lovely cafe, sip on our coffees and hang out together. OK?

Love ya! Hope you are doing better...I know you've hit a rough patch my friend.

Liz

[parisshel 1,892]

@gowalking: Absolutely! Can't wait. PM me with your email and info and I'll suggest a lovely café with good people-watching, I mean hot French men.

[IcanMakeit 1,319]

@@gowalking, we have similar stats and I have the same, exact worries that you expressed. I plan to continue to check in here every day. I believe it helps me to stay focused on my health when otherwise life and other concerns would crowd out my efforts to stay slim, and after a few months, I could find myself slipping back into old habits.

[gowalking 10,790]

@gowalking: Absolutely! Can't wait. PM me with your email and info and I'll suggest a lovely café with good people-watching, I mean hot French men.

Oh honey, I'm sorry...I meant Paris is on my bucket list...I only have a week in London and won't even get to Oxford/Stonehenge/Bath, etc. so I have to cross the Atlantic on another trip to make it to Paris. I will absolutely get there..I just don't know when. I'm hoping next year but haven't booked anything yet. Sorry again for the misunderstanding. I wish I could get to Paris this trip...

[tkuch 28]

I am also worried, super worried about gaining the weight back. I have started seeing someone to hopefully drop my mental baggage so I do not turn to emotional eating. other then that I am just going to have pushing through one day at a time. I know for me being aware of my pit falls have been helping me out a little bit, but I still have a long way to go.

[drmeow 323]

Still pre-op here but I already have those worries! What I am hoping to do is get very involved in one or more sports/activities that will keep me pushing for fitness goals even after I've lost the weight I need to. So, the motivation will be running faster or biking longer, or doing a race, or hiking parts of the Appalachian trail again, etc.

[AussieSam 234]

I think a great thing to do is buy a few emotional eating books and read a bit daily.

[laguerr13 993]

Me and another peer on this forum mare a pact to always keep it positive or not reference anyone else out of respect, so I'm gonna use myself as an example, I have kids with a very beautiful woman(I lucked out) blonde hair blue eyes, was a side 6 when we met, jus got her bachelors, and is already working on masters, and is going for PhD, soon we will experience lire at a level we never thought we would be at, my surgery fell into place after 2 years of research, invested time, and my wife making me take insurance at work 2 1/2years ago, I am 4 days from surgery, I started to become very aware of my mortality when I turned 50, and topped out at 388lbs, so in January I started to diet on my own and with the pre surgery diet I am at 349lbs, measured my weight loss so far not in terms of pounds but instead on accomplishments, less knee pain, back pain, and catching myself bending to tie my shoes, so as the weight comes off and I do the whole new clothes, vacation, etc. I will not let that be my motivation, for me u will use past moments I wish not relive, and the pain I endured, sometimes we lose focus on maintaining perspective of what is important, (been there done that syndrome), but I have learned that if you don't forget where you came from or events of the past it keeps you focused on what's important, no disrespect but if health and quality of life were not higher on the list than wardrobe, it wouldn't be a bad idea to seek counseling, I have worked in psych for over 16 years and I know from experience, so I hope this helps, people like you who post where they are at post surgery are an inspiration to people like me who have no idea what to expect, how's that for motivation, you help others that follow in your path!

[CanyonBaby 1,852]

One day at a time. For EVERYTHING. Since we cannot see what tomorrow has in store, we are equipped only for the day at hand, the now-moment. I have learned this the hard way, so save yourselves from the stresses of tomorrow, and what the scales may say then. Instead, focus on what you are doing TODAY. If you ate well today, had enough physical activity to counter the caloric intake, drank the fluids required for sustainability, tomorrow will be fine.

There will always be something to worry about, if we let ourselves. Save the energy from worrying and put it in a positive energy form. Go for that exciting new hike. Save up for a new bicycle, shop for the kind you would like and USE. Look into activity clubs in your area. Go to the book store, sit and read a book for a few hours. Join a book club! These are just a few ideas for something to look forward to, a PURPOSE for your day.

In my world, with the possibility of losing my husband, I have to look forward. I have to have a plan in place for the "what-if's". Morbid, yes. Necessary, yes. Life-giving, yes. A window to open, and breathe the fresh air in from. Open YOUR window today, and see what is out there for YOU. An open mind and an open heart will show you wonders....

[laguerr13 993]

ωєℓℓ ѕαι∂ ¢αиуσивαву, νєяу ωєℓℓ ѕαι∂

[CanyonBaby 1,852]

@@laguerr13

Thank you, and like-wise!