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My daughters returned home from college a couple of weeks ago. One was out of state and one was out of the country. Yesterday they both gave me a stern lecture about my eating habits.

It took me aback, but I realized they are right. They watched me basically reclaim my life last year and drop 100 pounds, which is 2/3 of my excess weight. I made enormous life changes and they were part of it.

But since that time, I've gotten complacent. I deluded myself into thinking that the recent changes I made in exercise (joining a gym and actually going) were enough to offset the food choices I was making.

My girls pulled no punches. They told me if I kept eating the fried and fatty food I've been eating, sooner or later the weight won't stay at this number anymore, and I'll regain what I lost. I'll gain it all back and go back to my old way of living.

I was shocked, but I can see their point today. I haven't wanted to change from fried food to broiled food. I haven't wanted to give up these delicious things, and I rationalized it by calling it Protein. Well, Protein battered and deep fried isn't protein, it's protein soaked in fat.

My younger daughter said I need to train myself to like healthier versions. I need to train my palate to enjoy home cooked broiled chicken instead of Popeye's fried chicken strips. I need to make my own chili instead of drive thru Wendy's chili.

I'm doing 1000 times better than I did before WLS, but they are right. Unless I change what I'm eating, the dramatic reduction in the quantity I'm eating will have only partial and temporary effect.

I still have a lot of "I don't wanna" going on here. I don't wanna give up my high fat, high calorie foods. I already gave up volume! It isn't fair!!!

Well, true. It isn't fair. Too bad. If I stay in this mindset I'm going to return to the high volume as well.

My kids saw the food wrappers from Popeye's and Wendy's in my car garbage bag. Just like the old days. But but but I'm not eating as much and it's protein!!! Yeah. Right.

I was surprised at how angry and how disappointed they were with me. I sat there defending my 100 pound weight loss. They weren't buying it. Both of them told me they saw me deluding myself right back to where I started.

When they both came home from school, I had made a big Pasta dinner with dessert. Both of them yelled at me for bringing Pasta and sweets into the house. But but but it's for you! Yeah, right. Both of them told me to cook for me, not for what I think they want. They didn't want the calories or sugar either.

They both pointed out that I don't cook anymore. Which is true. I get takeout and eat weird pieced-together meals. They encouraged me to cook instead of takeout. Simple and obvious, right? But I have a million excuses why I need to grab fast food.

My girls watched me get my life back last year, and it started with my surgery. They came with me when I left an abusive marriage and began the long battle of a divorce with their uncooperative and hostile father. They were really upset with me seeing me make crappy food choices after so much positive change.

I'm still taking this in, but I realize this is the kick in the ass I need now. I cut my volume. I added exercise. Now I need to lose the fried and high fat and high calorie crap.

I had mentally adjusted to this weight as if it was inevitable that I wouldn't be able to lose my remaining fifty pounds. Well, I can lose it. But it takes the next change to get there. A big change.

I don't wanna. But I gotta.

Man, they are a pain in my ass.

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You are so fortunate to have such wise and loving daughters. I would have felt mortified to have been the target of their intervention, but you are smart enough to listen to what they are saying rather than react to them having the audacity to tell you about yourself. Great post. I'm going to try to learn from your experience so I don't have my family members telling me about myself!

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@@JustWatchMe love the post!!!

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Dont take his the wrong way, but when I was done laughing at your story, I just wanted to reach out and give you a big hug !!! The laugh was because I could just see your daughters giving you a stern lecture (s), and you going "but, but, but, but !!!!!! It's Protein !!! It's healthy !!!!" like a whiny teenager !!! The hug was because you have been through so much and have done so well and you still have the abilty to see that you can still make healthy changes for your future and be an example for your very supportive daughters. Great job on EVERYTHING you've done, keep up the healthy changes ! You can do it !!!

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I laughed out loud at the last comment "they are a pain in my ass". That is one of my favorite sayings. You know they are right and I even get that sometimes from my daughter who is so happy that I took control of my health . I have to be careful about falling back into old habits too. I am an admitted sugar aholic. When we have Sunday dinners I have been making Desserts or not so healthy meals. So, I know where you are coming from. I would like to lose another 10 lbs before I go on our Alaskan cruise so I am making some changes back to my plan. You can do it too and I think your girls are just so worried about you and love you too much to let you go back ..

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Your girls are smart. Just like their momma :)

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This post made me chuckle..."they are a pain in my ass" made me literally laugh out loud. Fortunately, fried foods and fatty foods make me barf, but I also tend to eat whatever I want to within reason so I'm extra obsessive about the scale. You said you liked Wendy's chili? In the fall and winter I live on Panera chili, which is turkey chili and only 190 calories with 15g of Protein. During the summer I make my own pot of it, I put it in freezer bags, and then I heat it up for lunch. I really like Panera's version better, but if you cook a giant vat of chili you can get like 20-30 sleeve-sized portions out of it. Also, instead of just transitioning right from fried food to broiled, maybe try grilled or baked with sundried tomatoes on chicken or something flavorful. Maybe you won't even miss the fried version!

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Sometimes I wish I had daughters instead of sons! They know just what to say to help you get it in gear.

Boys are always afraid to even go there. I have to practically pry it out of them.

Enjoy those young ladies, they clearly love you and have your best interests at heart.

You have done remarkably! Keep up the good work and I bet if you make some additional changes you will be exactly where you want to be.

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I am so looking forward to our Panera bread opening soon. I know I will like their turkey chili,, actually Wendy's isn't that bad for you if you get the small chili it's not bad and has a good amount of Protein. I also love chic fil a chicken tortilla Soup in the winter (they only sell it then.). I try to stay away from fried stuff as much as possible. my husband loves anything fried. bet I could fry a shoe and he'd eat it.

This post made me chuckle..."they are a pain in my ass" made me literally laugh out loud. Fortunately, fried foods and fatty foods make me barf, but I also tend to eat whatever I want to within reason so I'm extra obsessive about the scale. You said you liked Wendy's chili? In the fall and winter I live on Panera chili, which is turkey chili and only 190 calories with 15g of protein. During the summer I make my own pot of it, I put it in freezer bags, and then I heat it up for lunch. I really like Panera's version better, but if you cook a giant vat of chili you can get like 20-30 sleeve-sized portions out of it. Also, instead of just transitioning right from fried food to broiled, maybe try grilled or baked with sundried tomatoes on chicken or something flavorful. Maybe you won't even miss the fried version!

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Great post @JustWatchMe. And how wonderful to have daughters who love you lots and lots.

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Sounds like your personal trainers are home.....they love you so much.

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@@Sharpie said, "bet I could fry a shoe and he'd eat it."

Mmmmmm. Fried shoe.

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You raised those girls right!

Congratulations. :)

And I adore how well and wisely you responded to their feedback.

No wonder they turned out so well. :)

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Congratulations on your weight loss. Your daughters are gifts from God.

I like AvaFern's idea of batch cooking. Since you seem to need some convenience to your meals, you could have one busy day a week batch cooking and chill out with no worries the rest of the week. I am glad you are realizing that it's not the fast food and convenient factory edibles (can't call a lot of that "food"), it's the salt, sugar, fat, and grease that we like.

If you can, try not to eat anything made in a factory. Shop the perimeter of the store. You will soon find out what real and fresh food (meat, veggies, fruit) tastes like without all the added non-nutritive stuff we add to it. Real food taste all right. You can do it. You will be amazed at how much better you feel, too.

You are a smart cookie......well how about about a smart eggplant? Just doesn't sound the same, does it? I love your daughters. Hugs from Miss Mac in Chicago.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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