I am so depressed. I had a gastric sleeve in Seattle, Washington on September 4th, 2014. Within 4 days was in the ER in my home town and life flighted back to Seattle. I spent almost a month in the hospital and was sent home with a metal stent that was the most painful thing I ever had to endure. I live 5 hours away from Seattle and was having to drive back for follow up CT's, Tube checks, etc every 2 to 4 weeks. I stayed home for another 2 months trying to recover on a feeding tube, drain tube, and antibiotics. I lost my job after the first 2 months because I was gone so long and had no clue as to when I would return. We live paycheck to paycheck so within weeks we were behind on all our bills and could barely afford dinner for the kids, there were actually many nights we just had nothing.

In December even though I was still sick and in pain, I begged to return to work. I have kids to feed and keep a roof over their heads. I already felt terrible for not being able to do anything but lay on the couch for 3 months. My job had given me an oncall status when I lost my position, so thankfully I was able to come back and earn some money. After about 6 weeks at one of my tube checks, endoscopy's my gastro doc said the leak was healed. He took out the 3 pigtail stents that had replaced the horrible metal one that I could not tolerate after 4 weeks of misery. He said I was done and never had to come back again, go on with my life. Within a week I started to get a large abscess at the location of my original drain tube. Long story short I I again was sick for a couple months, 4 or 5 hospitalizations, one of which I was taken by ambulance back to Seattle. I had tried again that terrible stent and it was worse the 2nd time around. I only lasted 12 or 13 days with it at which time I could not even shower myself, I was only able to get up and go to the bathroom. I was on 10 mg of oxycodone every 3 hours to keep from wanting to kill myself ( i never really would) Lost my job again. Shut off notices every week, all creditors calling, 2 months behind on our house payment, and only being able to provide dinner a few times a week. I had nothing to eat for 2 months and nothing to drink for a month. Again I had a PICC line for nutrtion.

I was again told in March it looked great and unless I had complications I did not even need to come back for three months. I was so happy. I went back to work again with the hope that I can help get us out of this hole. Within a week or so I started to have low grade fevers. I told the doc office and they said unless its over 100 just keep an eye out. I felt so weak and achy but thought it was just from the last month of being in the hospital and home on the couch very ill. I went to Urgent Care with complaints of fevers, body aches, and feeling not well. CT was done that they said looked fine. It only got worse and I took myself to the local ER at the end of March and another CT confirmed I still had a leak and now I had Fluid around my left lung and spleen. Back to Seattle I went. Spent another week, picc line, new drain tube, etc. Back home to recover for another month on Home Health. Having to borrow money just to get to Seattle for my appointments. Worse off financially than ever before and strained relationships with parents because of the financial help they have given me. I am again trying to work even though i should not be, but the stress of not being able to provide for my family has been worse than even my own illness. I am grateful I have the best husband in the world that has taken great care of me, but I am hurt by the fact that not one single family member has come to see me in the hospital or at home. My parents live only 10 miles away and have not showed up one time asking If I need some help. I lay here all day long by myself while my husband is out trying his hardest to provide for us. I have not been able to eat in a month and in 3 months have only had a few bites a few times of some Beans and Protein shakes

This of course is only bits and pieces of the horror i' ve been living through the last 8 months. I don't know how much longer I can handle this. It has been harder dealing with the fact that no family has really been there for me and only a couple friends here and there. The guilt I feel as a mother making my kids live this this.

Please, I am looking for information as far as other people who are or have lived through this. Good and bad, I want all the information I can get. This has been the worse thing I have ever lived through in my entire life and I just can't see it ever ending.

Thank you so much for letting me unload, but I don't really have many to talk to. I am lonely, sad, depressed, and feeling i'm running out of the ability to have any hope.

Update: she's under celina92

I am very sorry to hear what you are going through. I had my gastric sleeve surgery done on Sept 27, 2015. 3 weeks later they discovered I had a leak when I went in for a follow up appt. I knew something was wrong because I couldn't eat or drink and constantly had pain. I spend at least 7 weeks in the hospital on 2 different occasions, and then was readmitted at least 6 more times for 1-5 day stays. I was on the tpn but it made me very sick. They put a stent in me which was very painful at first and then it was tolerable later. My doctor took it out in 4 weeks. I know the pain and depression you go through with this. Alot of people will tell you well, it was an elective surgery so you basically asked for it. Well I say the surgery was elective but the outcome I did not sign up for! My original doctor who did the gastric sleeve surgery I have not seen since he discovered I had a leak. I was put in an ambulance and sent to a different hospital where they had more specialization in gastric leaks. I have not seen the doctor since which really made me angry. I became very depressed and would never recommend this surgery to anyone. I am 7 months out and still experience pain, which I am still on pain meds. I still have alot of days where I can't eat or drink. If I do I get really sick. I have lost 128 pounds since Sept 27. I like the fact that I can get into smaller clothes but I was healthier when I was 340 lbs, so it seems like. Anyways, I am very fortunate to have kept my job even though I was out for 6 months. I also am very fortunate to have my family that was very helpful and caring throughout this ordeal. I still have a small contained leak and I am very fearful that it will bust open. I can basically eat anything on my good days, which are few. I really hope that you can get though this hard time and know that sometimes you are the only one that can fight for your family as well as yourself. Its sad when your own family cant be there during this very troubled and difficult time. I wish you the best and hope that everything works out for you.

@@tlennerton I'm sorry to hear about your ordeal. Do you feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel at this point or do you anticipate more issues moving forward?