I really need your help guys. Please!

[birdmadgirl 154]

I havent logged on in a long time. I was sleeved 9-23-13. my heighest weight was 270. I am currently 195. I feel like I have failed. I never went back after my 6 month follow up because I was too ashamed of going back to my old habits and being a slow loser. I was down as low as 185 but that was it.

I graze, I drink pop, I eat crappy foods. I rarely excersice. I am currently stuggling with depression issues and I really believe thats part of it.

What do I do now? A year and a half out and I am so ashamed. I feel like everyone is judging me and thinks I am a failure.

Where do I even start?

[Miss Mac 6,262]

With your next meal, then go for a walk or put on some loud crazy music and groove to the music.

Get the crap edibles (can't call them foods) out of the house. Don't watch cooking shows for a while.

If I could give only one piece of diet advice, it would be "Don't eat anything made in a factory."

When you get up, stay out of the bedroom. Resist all day TV and becoming part of the sofa. Open up the window shades and let the sunshine in. When the outside temp becomes comfortable for you, take advantage of it and find reasons to be outside. We have a large back yard, and last year I set up a fitness trail for myself. Get a dog. Play with it and take it for long walks. The Vitamin D sunshine that you absorb will help perk up your mood.

As with any formidable task that is inconvenient but necessary, eliminate excuses one by one.

Want to eat crap? Don'y have crap in the house or stand by a vending machine.

Too tired to exercise? Your body is a living machine designed for movement. It will resist you like a toddler who just learned the word NO. But once you start exercising, your body will thank you by giving you more energy to get through your day. Then, you will be tired enough to sleep better.

Don't have time to exercise? Quit hitting the alarm clock. Get up and follow along with one of the gajillion 5 minute work-outs on Youtube. This morning I did a stretch and toning video - 4 minutes - helped to wake me up.

Make a list of what is holding you back, and find creative ways to get around it.

Chirp up, dear. You have friends here who understand what you are going through. Hugs.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

What @@Miss Mac said.

I would also recommend you make and keep a follow-up appointment with your surgeon, NUT, PCP, etc, and attend a support group meeting. I bet you aren't the only one struggling.

[JamieLogical 8,727]

I'm so glad you came back here! Hopefully you will get the advice and support you need to get back on track. I find that participating in the forums provides its own kind of accountability and keeps my WLS at top-of-mind still. Posts like yours are a good reminder that this is a life-long process that requires commitment and dedication. The good news is, it's never too late to get back on track. And look at the plus side, you are still down 75 pounds from your highest weight! Think of the difference that has made to your overall health and longevity!

[Shrinkingmom 218]

You have not failed... you have not done as well as you expected! You still have the tool and it is never too late! This is what I try to warn people about. That first year is the time to get the good habits in place because after that, you are back at square one and it is a lot of work. The good news is, you have had surgery and that tool is sitting right there waiting for you! The advice above was great! Start with the next meal! One thing that I have learned about myself is that when I eat "crappy food" (mostly sugar) I only crave more "crappy food" (mostly sugar)! Detox yourself and get it out of your system. After about a week, you will no longer crave those things and you will start enjoying the healthy foods that you are eating. As long as I stay totally away from sugar, no problem. The minute I eat one bite of a dessert made with sugar, the cravings are off and running and that is all I think about! I have learned to just keep it out of my mouth and I don't even want it. As for exercise, start small. Use the old "park at the end of the parking lot and walk" routine if that is all you can do to start with. The key is to START! I promise the depression will get better as you start eating better and moving! Before you do anything else though, make an appointment with your surgeon and Nutritionist for follow up! They are invaluable and I feel sure they will not be judgemental but will be onboard to help you keep going. Next is to plug into a support group! I haven't missed a meeting in 2 1/2 years and I think that is the biggest contribution to my success! It helps to be able to talk to people going through the same things you are face to face.

Now get up and do some moving and meal planning! You can do this!

[jessiquoi 623]

The only way you can fail is to stop trying. You haven't stopped, you're here looking for help, so congratulations!

You know exactly what to do, because you've listed all the behaviors you need to get rid of. Listen to all the other advice given here. Take it slow, make one change back at a time, and congratulate yourself on coming here for help before you gained it all back!

You can do this. You've already proved yourself. Positive thinking is one of the most important tools we can have to help us in our journey. Make your attitude one that you are proud to share with the world! And keep posting here, as much as you need to, for support.

[birdmadgirl 154]

Wow, you guys.. really (gettin teary)...

I should have known that I would get this kind of feedback from such wonderful people but this is overwhelming. It was really hard for me to come back here and I am so thankful that I did.

Please keep up all the positive encouragement.

I started tracking everything in myfitnesspal today.

baby steps but steps at least.

[samuelsmom 670]

Wow, I think all of the comments above should be laminated and required reading for all bariatric patients! I applaud you for coming back. You are 70+ pounds down 1 1/2 years out! Celebrate that victory.

The advice above is great. You are also starting out right by logging your food. If you go back to the basics you will get back on track. Log meals, Protein first, no grazing, Water in...

The only thing I can think to add is that since you have been grazing to plan for 3 meals and 2 Snacks at defined times. My favorite Snacks which keep me comfortably full are a greek yogurt in the morning and an apple or Protein Bar in the afternoon.

Good Luck.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

You are in the right place at the right time. Think of it as a long plateau that you can learn from. I might not be the last one.... (I have had a couple as well!) and you will do better next time, and even better after that! So goes life. Logging is great, finding something you like to do is great (I bellydance and bird watch) and remember its a process that last for life, and you are still alive!

[livvsmum 2,370]

I havent logged on in a long time. I was sleeved 9-23-13. my heighest weight was 270. I am currently 195. I feel like I have failed. I never went back after my 6 month follow up because I was too ashamed of going back to my old habits and being a slow loser. I was down as low as 185 but that was it.

I graze, I drink pop, I eat crappy foods. I rarely excersice. I am currently stuggling with depression issues and I really believe thats part of it.

What do I do now? A year and a half out and I am so ashamed. I feel like everyone is judging me and thinks I am a failure.

Where do I even start?

Our stats are similar. I had my sleeve surgery on 9/12/13 and starting weight was close to yours at 278.4. I would say a couple of suggestions.

1. Get back to the basics. The beautiful thing is that you STILL have the same tool that you had when you first started losing weight. It just depends on the extent to which we use it appropriately that it "works." Get back to Protein first (at least 70 or so grams) and no more than 40 or so carbs, and at least 100 oz of Water. When I eat that way, that is how I lost 155 pounds, and I know I won't regain when I stick to that concept.

2. Find something you love to do to get some exercise. I found running. It has saved me in a lot of ways. It is my medication, my me-time, and cancels out that occassional straying from my new way of eating.

3. Do some emotional work (this is way harder than any 'eating' advice I could give you) to figure out what got you to 270 in the first place, and why you are struggling. For me, and I venture, for many others, it is about food, but it is NOT really about food. You have to figure out what is keeping you from making the choices you already know you need to make. I would recommend reading "When Food is Love". It literally changed my life. I discovered it at 7 months post op when I started seeing an eating disorder therapist who specializes in WLS patients. She recommended it and it has been the single most important element (along with weekly therapy - which I still go to) in helping me be successful in the long term - now 22 months post op and at "dream goal"

I KNOW you can do this. Please don't feel like a failure or feel discouraged. Sometimes we just don't "know" how to get back to where we know we need to be. But you have the tool, and you have the strategies. I believe you can succeed.

[Wynnie 186]

@@birdmadgirl how are you today? Your post is wonderful and it means you are NOT A FAILURE but HUMAN just like the rest if us!! Do track everything you eat, drink, graze and i think you stated you use My Fitness Pal, so keep going. 1 day and 1 meal at a time. Also, be kind to yourself and remember you have lost and have still maintained a great portion of that loss. Keep us posted please and be well ????

[birdmadgirl 154]

aww! thank you so much for reminding me of this thread and for being so kind. One thing I did do is ask my family doctor to put me back on adipex temporarily. Ive been doing that for about a week and have lost about 4 pounds. The only reason I did it was to get my mind back on track and do a little "reset". When I am hungry, I'm trying to reach for a Quest bar instead of a cookie.

I still have not made a follow up with my surgeon (which I WILL do)... I am just so nervous about going after so long. I figure I'll just put it all on the table and beg for mercy.

Bought some more premeir shakes, trying to work those in in the morning.

Keep up the encouraging words, they are so helpful. I appreciate you guys.

[JamieLogical 8,727]

@@birdmadgirl I'd choose a Quest Bar over a cookie any day of the week! I am so addicted to them! It's good that you are putting Protein first and taking steps to get back on track. Keep with it and hopefully this "reset" will be just what you need to pick up momentum again.

[Wynnie 186]

Birdmadgirl 4 pounds is FANTASTIC! One meal and one day at a time.